YOU: On a Diet - and other Oprah inspired diets Includes Dr Phil, Bob Greene, and YOU: On a Diet

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Old 11-10-2004, 05:28 PM   #61  
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Default Zig Ziglar's Life Changing Procedure

Dr Phil spoke of talking to ourselves in how we want to be. I just found the thing that Zig talked about that was similar.
This process is actually for the business side of your life but I thought if we tweaked this some we could use it for our weight loss goals also.

1) You have to make a personal commitment in writing that states the following:
I, Ursula, am serious about setting and reaching my goals in my life so on this 10th day of November, 2004, I promise myself that I will take the first step toward setting those goals.
I am willing to exchange temporary pleasures in the pursuit of happiness and the striving for excellence in the pursuit of my goals. I am willing to discipline my physical and emotional appetites to reach the long-range goals of happiness and accomplishment. I recognize that to reach my goals I must grow personally and have the right mental attitude, so I promise to specifically increase my knowledge in my chosen field and regularly read positive growth books and magazines. I willalso attend lectures and seminars, take courses in personal growth and development. I will utilize my time more effectively by listening to motivational and educational recordings while driving or performing routine tasks at home or in the yard. I will keep a list of my activities including the completion dates for each project in my Goals Program. I further promise to list good ideas (mine and those of others) and to note thoughts, power-phrases, and quotations, which have meaning to me.

2) From Zig Ziglar - The eyes are the windows of the soul. So, to become the person you are capable of becoming, each evening, just before you go to bed, stand in front of a mirroe alone and in the first-person, present-tense, look yourself in the eye and repeat with passion and enthusiasm paragraphs A, B, C & D. Repeat this process every morning and every evening from this day forward. Within one week you will notice remarkable changes in your life. After thirty days add the last procedure.

A I, Ursula, am an honest, intelligent, organized responsible, commited, teachable person who is sober, loyal, and clearly understands that regardless of who signs my paycheck I am self-employed. I am an optimistic, punctual, enthusiastic, goal-setting, smart working self-starter who is disciplined, focused, dependable, persistent positive thinker with great self control, and am an energetic and diligent team player and hard worker who appreciates the opportunity my company and the free enterprise system offer me. I am thrifty with my resources and apply common sense to my daily taskes. I take honest pride in my competence, appearance and manners and am motivated to be and do my best so that my healty self-image will remain on solid ground. These are the qualities which enable me to manage myself and help give me employment security in a no-job-security world.

B I, Ursula, am compassionate, respectful encourager who is a considerate, generous, gentle, patient, caring, sensitive, personable, attentive, fun-loving person. I am supportive, giving and forgiving, clean, kind, unselfish, affectionate, loving, family-oriented human being and I am a sincere and open-minded good listener and a good-finder who is trustworthy. These are the qualities which wnable me to build good relationships with my associates, neighbors, mate and family.

C I, Ursula, am a person of integrity, with the faith and wisdom to know what I should do and the courage and convictions to follow through. I have the vision to manage myself and to lead others. I am authoritative, confident, and humbly grateful for the opportunity life offers me. I am fair, flexible, resourceful, creative, knowledgeable, decisive, and an extra-miler with a servant's attitude who communicates well with others. I am a consistent, pragmatic teacher with character and a finely-tuned sense of humor. I am an honorable person and am balanced in my personal, , family, and business life, and have a passion for being, doing, and learning more today so I can be, do and have more tomorrow.

D THese are the qualities of the winner I was born to be and I am fully commited to developing these marvelous qualities with which I have been entrusted. Tonight, I'm going to sleep wonderfully well. I will dream powerful, positive dreams. I will awaken energized and refreshed; tomorrow's going to be magnificent and my future is unlimited. Recognizing, claiming and developing these qualities which I already have gives me a legitimate chance to be happier, healthier, more prosperous, more secure, have more friends, greater peace of mind, better family relationships and legimate hope that the future will be even better.

(In the morning say - These are the qualities of the winner I was born to be and I will develop and use these qualities to achieve my worthy objectives. Today is a brand new day and it's mine to use in a marvelously productive way.

After 30 Days Add this step: Choose your strongest quality and the one you feel needs the most work. Example: Strongest- honest. Needs most work - organized. Ona seperate 3x5 card print : I, Ursula, am a completely honest person and every day I am getting better and better organized. Keep this 3x5 card handy and read it out loud at every opportunity for one week. Repeat this process with the 2nd stongest and needs the most work qualtities. Do this until you've completed the entire list. Use the self-talk procedure as long as you want to get more of the things money will buy you and all of the things that money won't buy you.

Note: Because of some painful experience in the past (betrayal, abuse, etc) there might be a word or two that brings back unpleasant memories (example - discipline). Eliminate the word or substitute another word.


While some people may think this is hokey... and to be honest the 1st few times I did this I couldnt look myself in the eye all the way through and also felt uncomfortable. It really does work. The year that I used this my income more than doubled. HONEST! I dont know why I quit using it but it is VERY POWERFUL.

I think we could tweak this for our weight loss journey. As Dr Phil states what ever you think about yourself, you are right. So if we start saying positive things to ourselves everyday and look ourselves in the mirror we will start believing it and living it.

What do you guys think of this. Sorry it was so long winded I wanted to write it word for word because I thought that was important.

Last edited by Angel26519; 11-10-2004 at 05:30 PM.
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Old 11-10-2004, 09:13 PM   #62  
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Quote:
I think we could tweak this for our weight loss journey.


GREAT IDEA, Angel.


I am printing and studying it.


THANK YOU for sharing this.
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Old 11-11-2004, 11:22 AM   #63  
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I am glad you like this Lucky Lady. I am hoping that we can use this somehow. I really do know it works.
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Old 11-11-2004, 12:08 PM   #64  
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Great posts, Misty and Angel. It is hard to read through his book and make these self affirmations to yourself and you have both done a great job. Misty as I was reading through your self description of your childhood I wondered if your feelings of being overweight came from your parents in some way? It seems that they had a lot of control over what you ate and that you kept active, not that this is a bad thing!!! but maybe they were a bit too controlling?? Just wondering.

As for myself I think I have always been realistic about how long it would take me to achieve my goals and I don't think I have set them too high. I want to get to a weight of 125 lbs which considering my height and build is a reasonable goal. If I exercise and mind my eating I could achieve this goal in a year. Yes I have a negative image about myself but considering how overweight I am I think that this is also realistic. How can I love my body when it is so horribly out of shape? That isn't to say that I don't love myself. There are days when I want to slap myself upside the head because I've done something I should know better than to do. Those are the behaviours that are stopping me from achieving my goals so I need to further examine these behaviours to see what I can do to change them.
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Old 11-11-2004, 12:38 PM   #65  
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Hi Gang!

Misty, I think Jen maybe right about the weight being from childhood control. I wonder if you kinda went wild once you were away from them. I know I would. And maybe you see eating right and working out as a mild form of punishment since they made you do it so much when you were growing up. Just something for you to think about.

Anyway, I finished my thoughts on chapter one this morning and will start working on my chapter two later today or tomorrow. I have started reading it.
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Old 11-11-2004, 01:59 PM   #66  
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Angel and Jen you are completley right. I know my eating issues stemmed from the crazy childhood I had. My sister and I both have weight issues. I freaked out in college and ate everything I wasn't allowed to as a kid. To this day I find myself saying, "You know I was never allowed to eat as much of ________ (fill in the blank) as I wanted to. Now, I can so I am going to."

It's all about the control...then I lost control. You are right exercise is like punishment to me.

What I need to figure out is why I continue to allow the events of my childhood to control my life. Dr. Phil says you start to over eat for one reason, but it continues for another. Hopefully this book will help me figure it out.

In the past few days I have realized that I am ok. I have a realistic goal, I know what I need to do, now I just need to do it. That control I wanted so badly is mine to have. I am in control of this. I am learning to enjoy exercise, I like the way it makes me feel strong and energetic.

Angel, I very much liked the self affrimation you posted from Zig Zigler.

Jen, I think you have a very specific goal with a very specific time line set. I think you've nailed Chapter Two.
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Old 11-11-2004, 03:14 PM   #67  
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Misty, maybe in some way you are doing a rebellion thing against your parents control and even though it has been a lot of years since they had that control this is what you are still rebelling against. Maybe there are things in your life you don't feel like you have control over and you feel at least that now you have control over your eating whereas before your parents had the control. Just some thoughts.

As for me I really don't see that I am an emotional eater. I eat a lot out of boredom, laziness, habit but not because I get really angry or sad. I think dr. phil would have an easy time with me...he'd say I'm fat because I'm being lazy and he'd be right!
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Old 11-12-2004, 01:28 PM   #68  
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Jen I think you are right. My eating started as a rebellion against the strict control they exerted. Perhaps I am still rebelling or maybe you are right I feel that I have lost control over something in my life now and dealing with food is my way of gaining control. At least now I am controlling it in a good way. I am making sure I eat right.

I never really considered myself an emotional eater. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't binge when I am happy or sad. I don't use food as a "friend", I don't eat food b/c I know it won't reject me. Those are what people typically assume you do when you emotionally eat. I guess in someways prior to my recent changes you could say I ate b/c of rebelling and I guess that is an emotion. I just think of emotional eating as crying into a pint of Ben and Jerry's. But I guess it's not.

Which brings me to an interesting question that I have been debating the last couple days. Is boredom an emotion? I never really thought of it as one. If it's not an emotion I don't know what it is. But I know I eat when I am bored. When DH is gone and I am just sitting around looking for something to do I used to eat. I don't feel lonley or sad, just bored. I never really considered this emotional eating. I am still not sure that it is. Thankfully in the past 12 weeks since I started trying lose weight I haven't been eating out of boredom. And now with two babies to keep up with, I don't have time to be bored.

Thanks again for all your support!
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Old 11-13-2004, 04:32 PM   #69  
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Hi All!

Yes I think boredom is an emotion. It is how you feel. Feelings=emotions. I am an emotional eater. I do eat when stressed, upset, bored, etc. It isnt that I think food wont reject me or that it loves me. More that it medicates me. Kinda numbs me out if you know what I mean. The comfort factor.

Well Hubby and I have been fighting today. I LOVE CHRISTMAS and CHRISTMAS Decorations. Not that I think they are necassarily fun but it is all about attitude when you are putting them up. You can either have the attitude that this sucks and therefore I am going to make everyone around me miserable about it or Yeah this sucks but I am gong to have fun along the way. Well Hubby makes it agony and makes it agony for everyone around him. He doesnt like to do it and doesnt let anyone forget that he doesnt like to do it. It becomes a rotten day. (PS - I know we are early putting them up. We dont normally put them up this early it is just that we are going out of town for Thanksgiving to Florida to visit MOM, come home on SUnday to leave out on Friday to go to Las Vegas to visit DAD, to come home on the following Sunday to have the Women's Circle Christmas Party that Monday here- so we dont have time to do it any other time.)

Anyway, It is gong to be a great day here! LOL
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Old 11-13-2004, 08:42 PM   #70  
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Page 23
I need to work on building the right mind-set in order to get on and stay on the right track.

I think this is a biggy for me. I don't have the right mind-set to lose weight.

Page 31
If I can recognize that it's not the specific weight I want to attain, but also the feelings that I associate with it.
Which also says I don't think I can have those feelings without being slender!

When I know what I want - how it looks, how it feels, and what experiences it contain - then I can begin to guide my life like a ship toward the harbor light because I now have goals that are exactly, precisely and realistically defined.
I like "guide my ship towards the harbor light".

pg 34 - Understand that it is not possible for you to be overweight unless you have generated and adopted a lifestyle to sustain it.
I really hate facing that one!!

But one can't change what one doesn's acknowledge.

pg 32 - When he said I have to have a goal to succeed I almost quit. I never make goals - and I don't know why. Fear of failure, I suppose.

I weighed around 130 until about 9 years ago but in my mind I always looked like I do now at 233. I made it all come true.

Is it fear of failure or fear of achieving success and finding out that I have to change other things?

Okay, I have to work on this goal setting thing.
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Old 11-15-2004, 01:36 PM   #71  
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Angel- UGGGGGHHHHH! Christmas decorations, I am so not ready. I can see though that you need to do it now. My mom put hers up b/c she had to have her annual holiday party yesterday b/c that's when every one was available. My mom put up 4 trees, 2 villages and gobs of lights, snowmen and garland. She's obessed with Christmas, she plays holiday music all year and really starts in with it in August when she begins gearing up. I think she has worn out all her Chirstmas videos and now has bought them on DVD. I know every carrol, and random holiday song by heart from listening to them growing up. But despite the fact we pick on my mom about her obsession, and we hate to listen to Christmas music my sister and I did come away with a silly tradition of our own. My mom had a record (she still listens to it on vinyl b/c it never came out on cd) that had this song about "The day before the night before Christmas and I'm busy busy busy being good" so now my sister and I try to call each other as early as possible on "the day before the night before Christmas" and sing that song to each other. It's like a little competition, we've even called in the middle of the night just to be first.

When I was a kid my dad was much like your hubby, he took all the joy out of the decorating. He did love to go get a tree though, go figure. Now he's almost as into it as my mom, not quite but almost. It was at times more stress than it's worth.

They are all mad at me b/c I am not putting up a tree this year. With two small kids, two rambunctious dogs, and two spastic cats a tree doesn't sound like fun to me. It's not like my kids won't see a tree. We have 6 places to eat dinner and open gifts. 1 on the 24th, 3 on the 25th, 1 on the 26, and 1 on the 1st. But this year I am employing my right thinking and remembering how much I love all the people we will get to see, and how nice it will be to enjoy thier company. My half sister from Indiana is coming for the first time in over 10 years, with her son who I have only seen once and he is 5. She moved away when she was 8 and I have only seen her twice in that time. It will be the first time in 10 years that all of my cousins have been home for Christmas. So this year I am not going to worry about the fact that DH is not getting the usual amount for profit share, or the fact that we have 36 people (at last count) to buy gifts for. I am going to concentrate on the joy.

You know, I for some reason never really associated boredom with an emotion. But you are right it's feeling. So if I eat out of bordom then I am an emotional eater. I do find comfort in food. When you said "Kinda numbs me out if you know what I mean. The comfort factor." That sure rang a bell for me. I guess when I honestly think about it I do that too. I have eaten to numb out the stress of the day, or the bordom. I eat for something to do. So this has been a huge light bulb moment for me . I didn't think I was an emotional eater, but I guess when I look at it I am. I was wondering if all of the information in the book that applies to your emotions would apply to me. I guess it will after all. You can't change what you don't aknowledge. THANKS!!

LuckyLadyBug- Your post also got me thinking. I am interested in what you said about the feelings associated with our goal weight. Maybe we can discuss this further? I think you may be right by saying that passage means we can't feel those feelings without reaching our goal. Hmmmmm. But is this a bad thing? The feelings I associate with reaching my goal are pride for achieving something I have been working on for years, the feeling of being comfortable with myself and my body, the feeling of being healthy, and freedom from a poor relationship with food. Definitley something for me to think about.

I know how you feel when you say, "I weighed around 130 until about 9 years ago but in my mind I always looked like I do now at 233. I made it all come true." That's me. As I said in an earlier post I was fit and healthy, but I was convinced I was so fat. And now here I am. How do you think you will feel about yourself when you reach your goal? I wonder if I wil continue to feel as though I am overweight as I did when I was healthier and thinner, or if by gaining all this weight I will have a greater appreciation for my body. I told my sister the otehr day "I had to gain and then lose all this weight to be happy with the body I had. I could have just been happy with that body to start with. But I thought I was so fat. Now that's my goal."

Maybe if you set very small goals for yourself after you have followed the exercises in the book you will feel less fearful? You know what your get real weight is and you know what you need to do to get there, but I understand how daunting it seems when you think how far away it is. Creating the time line helped me. But I also set small weekly goals for myself. One week it was eat a healthy breakfast instead of skipping this meal, one week it was drink 3 glasses of milk to get my 24 oz recommended for weightloss and health. I find it easier to continue the goal once I have done it a week or so. SOmetimes I do teh same goal more tahn one week. Start as small as you need to. I find it best to write it down and write throughout the week as I complete the goal. Sometimes my goal is a one day goal. For example "today I will take a walk."

I actually made myself a little chart and each week I review how I did and give myself a little star. I know I'm dorky, but really it's helped me see the smaller steps I need to take. Each week I get a star if I drink my water, exerscise 3 times (I will be increasing this soon), meet my weightloss goal of 2 lbs per week, journal, and if I stay within my points. I can now look back and see trends. I am on my thrid month of this. I don't beat myself up if I don't reach that goal, I just concentrate on it the next week.

Have a great day all. The kiddos are sleeping so now I am going to "Bless my heart" and body and hit the tread mill. The flylady has a great website recently I returned to it and found the phrase "bless my heart" in reference to exerscise...they don't like the "e" word there so maybe If I think of it in that term it will seem less yucky. Is that "right thinking"?
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Old 11-16-2004, 12:20 PM   #72  
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Misty - 36 people to buy for???? That's way, way too much IMHO. About 2 years ago we cut off buying for practically everyone except the kids, our son of course, my nieces and nephew. We buy for each other of course and I buy something for my mom. We told everyone else that we weren't going to be buying them gifts any longer because it was too much to try and figure out what people wanted and get nice gifts on a limited budget. My in-laws in particular are very difficult to buy for as we almost never see them. With that many people in the family I would instigate a secret Santa thing where everyone draws a name or something like that. I was at the point where I was going mental trying to buy gifts at the last minute and it finally came to me that my life is too short to be wasting on that kind of futility.

I"m not certain that I would call boredom an emotion. I'll get so that I'm eating for something to do or I am eating out of thoughtlessness. Like I can't watch tv or read a book without a snack in my hand. I don't think that is emotional eating.
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Old 11-16-2004, 12:57 PM   #73  
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You are right 36 is too many. But I have 6 siblings (ages 25, 19, 12, 11, 10, 8), Dh has 3 (all either adults or in college). So that's 9 right there. I have one nephew and he has never been here for Chirstmas, otherwise we are the only ones with kids in our immediate families, some of our cousins have kids. I don't usually buy for my sister who is 19 or her son,b/c we never knew if her mother would give her the gift or not and we never saw her. Once my sister who's 25 has kids I will probably just buy for her kids and not her. The 4 younger ones are all adopted kids who have special needs and Christmas is a big deal to them. We have very blended families. I am every kind of sister: full sister, half sister, step sister, adopted sister, foster sister, sister in law.

We still have holidays with all of our cousins on all three sides of our families. We are the younger generation. We still have to sit at the "kids" table, my sister in law is 33 and she's at the kids table. Our kids are sitting with us at the kids table, we now need a "kids' kids table". So when everyone is there there are 4 generations.

DH's mom passed away when he was 2, but we still celebrate with her parents and siblings (and thier kids and grandkids). Plus we have his step mom's side, and they are as close to him as if he were thier own. Then on my step mom's side we also get together with all my aunts and uncles, cousins and thier kids.

We are doing secret Santa on my Husband's side (both his biological mother's and his step mother's) for all of the cousins, so that's at least 4 gifts if not 6, depends on if DH and I draw names ourselves on the one side or if we just do our two kids.

My in laws live across the street and we live in a house they own and they help us out alot so I feel obligated to buy for them. As you can tell my mom is a Christmas nut and so she would be offended if I did not buy her a gift. She's my step mom really, (honestly she's the only mother I've known and I call her my mom), but she can be very rude about it all. They adopted the 4 kids and now she expects everyone to buy them as much as they bought us when we were younger, but there were only two of us. Figure if you spend $10 on each it's already $40. ANd really what can you get a 12 year old for $10?

I have to buy for my grandmother and unlce b/c they practically raised me for several years. They have helped me out so much. My grandmother paid off one of my smaller college loans. I will probably just have a calendar made with the kids pictures or something since she doesn't really need anything. So that means I have to buy for my step mom's dad or she will be offended I am favoring my dad's side. I don't really know my birth mother so I at least get a reprieve from that.

Then you add in my dearest friend who I've known since I was 8 and her daughter. Plus DH's cousin bought my daughter a small gift last year and I did not buy her children one so I feel obligated to reciprocate and if I buy her kids one then I have to buy her brother's little girl one too or she will feel left out. I will probably buy a small gift for a close neighbors' son who is only two days older than my daughter, since we got him a gift last year.

Then we have each other and our kids. And DH will have a secret santa at work.

It's an insane and vicious cycle. I feel obligated to buy for everyone. Many of the gifts are $5-$10, but that adds up quick. I did tell my mom I am combining her and my dad's gifts even though it's really more for my mom. Usually DH gets a couple thousand after taxes and 401K as profit share from his company. This year he might get $500. Which is still very nice. We just usually are able to buy for everyone from profit share. I think this year DH and I will not buy each other anything.

Well this is way offf the topic so I'll stop boring everyone with my holiday drama I am sure you guys all find yourself in this same situation. Hopefully you can be like Jen and narrow it down. I just may have to also. Have a great day

Last edited by MistySeptember; 11-16-2004 at 01:12 PM.
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Old 11-20-2004, 10:18 PM   #74  
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Hi all!

Again sorry for my holiday ramblings. Angel, I know you are insanly busy the next few weeks. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts as you travel and I hope all your journeys are safe and enjoyable. Do you think we should wait until after Thanksgiving to start Chapter 3? Would you like to wait until after your holiday party? Do you think we should combine Chapters 3 and 4 since Chapter 3 is just the readiness audit? I know the audit is important, but it seems like there won't be as much to talk about with it. If you guys find that there is enough to open a seperate discussion on it that's cool too.

Have a great night!
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Old 11-21-2004, 07:15 PM   #75  
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Hi Guys!

Sorry for being AWOL!

Thanks for keeping me in your prayers this holiday. Lots of travel going on along with the other chaos of my life...

Anyway, I will go ahead and open another thread for discussion tomorrow that way you guys can converse while I am gone and then I will have something to look forward to come back to.

This week we go to Florida to have Thanksgiving with my Mom. I will be back on Sunday. Then I head out the following Friday to Las Vegas to see my Dad. And then we go to Dallas to see my in-laws for Christmas. I will be all over the country by the time this is all done! I am telling all my family that next year if they want to see me they will have to come to me. My fanny aint moving.

I will open the next thread tomorrow.
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