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Old 09-15-2001, 03:56 PM   #1  
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Talking Turtle Club #36

Hi, Turtle Buddies,

Here it is - my "official" version of the fable:

The Hare and the Tortoise

A hare met a tortoise one day and made fun of him for the slow and clumsy way in which he walked.

The tortoise laughed and said, "I will run a race with you any time that you choose."

"Very well," replied the hare, "we will start at once."

The tortoise immediately set off in his slow and steady way without waiting a moment or looking back. The hare, on the other hand, treated the matter as a joke and decided to take a little nap before starting, for she thought that it would be an easy matter to overtake her rival.

The tortoise plodded on, and meanwhile the hare overslept herself, with the result that she arrived at the winning-post only to see that the tortoise had got in before her.

Moral: Slow and steady wins the race.

This comes from a book handed down from my grandmother to my mother to me. The book is so old it doesn't have a copyright date or an author/editor's credit.

That fable has been the motivation for us turtles for about two years. Someone on the ancient WW forum mentioned the fable and I discovered it was very motivational for me. I talked about it in posts and other people said that the tortoise philosophy worked for them, too. So, I started a thread for us turtle types.

We work toward accepting that our bodies have a natural speed of weight loss when we choose to live a healthy life, instead of "going on a diet". Many of us have experienced "the diets" as go on/lose weight-- go off/ gain the weight plus more back.

We choose to perservere with each choice we make throughout the day. We believe that choosing to be slow, steady turtles helps us to learn the skills we need to learn in order to not only lose the weight, but keep it off and become the healthiest people we can be.

So, welcome to all who realize that losing and maintaining a weight loss is a lifestyle change. And who want support as we all learn the skills we need to successfully make the changes that will allow us to reach our goals.

Happy turtlin', everyone!

Lin

PS--I wrote a short message on Turtle Club #35, if anyone missed it and is interested in reading it.
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Old 09-16-2001, 05:06 PM   #2  
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Hi, tortoises.

I'm glad to hear that chef is OK. I'm so sorry for all the people who were having breakfast meetings up there, though. Apparently there was a conference there that morning.

Our church prayed this morning for all affected by the disaster, even for those who would do such things. I'm glad we prayed for our Arab neighbors here in the U.S.; apparently there have already been acts of violence against them. That's terrible.

Yesterday I went to a seminar all day on how to help people who are dying. Some doctor friends of ours who attend our church want to start a home for people who are dying and don't have anyone who can help them -- basically, people who are too poor to go anywhere else. I'm wondering how I can help. I think it's a wonderful project, and I want to support it.

Well, food. Yesterday I ate quite a bit. I wrote it all down, though I haven't added up all the points yet. The seminar was held at a monastary, and one of the monks there is a renowned cook! Yikes! Then we went to a Middle Eastern restaurant afterward with friends. I only ate half my entree, but that was more than enough. Fortunately, I had banked something like 29 points over the past week.

Tonight I'm having fish, which should help. Tomorrow I plan to eat very lightly; I find that really helps if I have one very light day during the week.

I'm also beginning my bloat time of the month, which seems to last for a good 10 days now. Bleah. Ah, well.

Hope you had fun in SJ, Lin. It's interesting how sooner or later we all have to deal with our parents -- at least those of us who had some difficult relationships with our folks. For many people, they can't do this until their own kids leave home -- that's when they seem to have the time to finally deal with the old baggage. Not having kids, I dealt with the bulk of my issues about 10 years ago. I now have a reasonable relationship with my dad, thank heavens, and a lot of the old wounds have healed at last.

Onward and downward,

Lauren

--Lauren
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Old 09-17-2001, 03:33 PM   #3  
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Hi, Turtles,

Lauren, does your banked point total include exercise points? I'm curious because it seems like a lot of points. I didn't know it was possible to bank that many in a week.

I noticed that as I've gotten older, the bloat period before TOM has gotten longer. YUCK, me too!

Your seminar and the project your doctor friends are starting sounds absolutely wonderful! If I lived there, I'd help, too.

It's too terrible that there are so many people who cannot separate the true perpetrators of evil from anyone else who remotely looks like them. I know that a lot of people want someone to lash out at, because they feel so angry and impotent. But adults ought to have the maturity to vent their anger without hurting innocent people. Of course, if they were all able to do that, the whole thing wouldn't have happened in the first place!

We had a great time in SJ. We went to our church and they were singing a song we knew, so we sung in the choir. They have our robes sitting there waiting for whenever we can show up. We saw my brother, who is doing pretty well. He may be going home tomorrow or Wednesday. We took Chris to lunch and he went with us to visit his uncle. And we visited my mother. And, mainly due to the hospital visit, got home later than we wanted to, but still early enough so Paul got plenty of rest before he had to do that drive again today.

I've been surprised at the resurrection of old childhood issues because I, too, thought I'd dealt with them. But I've recently begun working through The Artist's Way again. And since I didn't finish it before I've been pushing through the beginning chapters at a rate of a chapter each day, instead of the recommended chapter a week.

I think I needed to push myself this way because I seem to be getting more out of it than I did when I went more slowly. Last weekend I had a dream that opened a real Pandora's box of childhood memories and the result of those memories. The thing is that I learned the real reason I got fat and the real reason I haven't seroiusly pursued any of the creative things I really love.

I was also given a way to deal with what I learned, which is one reason I believe that it came from God. I also believe that it was from God because I feel peaceful about it, even though it's disturbing and I know that project I have to do to deal with it will disturb whoever sees it. I feel really good about doing this, even though it deals with a very dark side of my personality, the side I've always tried to pretend wasn't there.

So, I now have three projects to work on and I have the time to work on them. One is a photographic essay, using traditional film and digital manipulation. That project is the key to dealing with this revelation. The second is to finish my current novel, which is going better than any I've ever done in the past. And, lastly, I'm feeling a real need to work rework the final project I did for my digital imaging class last fall so that it's the way I would have done it if the class and project requirements had permitted it.

I also think that as I work on the photo essay and heal those past wounds I will sabotage my weight loss efforst less and less. I will be able to take care of myself in a different, more positive, way than sealing myself within layers of fat.

I know that it's not going to be easier, just because I had a revelation, but I feel that there's more hope of success for me now that I am uncovering the real roots of this problem. It's impossible to get past a problem if you don't know what that problem is. And now that I do, I can deal with it.

I'm not saying that there may not be other things that will surface, but if they do, I feel a lot more able to cope than I have in the past.

Hope you all have a great day. Hope to hear from all of you who haven't been able to post in a while.

Happy turtlin'!

Lin
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Old 09-17-2001, 08:34 PM   #4  
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Lin,
I prayed and prayed to love my dad the way I did when I was a kid, and the negative blight I had put over our relationship lifted.
It took me a long time, but this is something that happened very recently. I didn't want to die without loving him again. Long story--but he was pretty miserable and unloving to my mom and she got cancer and died. I blamed him and still do, but life goes on and I've always been cordial to him. I knew how I felt, but I don't think he did. It was my business and my emotions. I'm doing much better now.

Lauren,
It is so true that when the kids move out you can focus on yourself and the relationship with dh. I think this happens because the time becomes available=-=i don't think it has to do with much else but this. Life is great. Let's all live each minute to its fullest.

Love,
Judy
234/ thinner 199# by Christmas
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Old 09-18-2001, 11:35 AM   #5  
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Hi, tortoises. Hope our lurkers are doing well. We miss you.

Lin, those 29 banked points do indeed include exercise points. I give myself either 3 or 4 points when I work out for an hour, depending on which workout I'm doing. Today's was Donna-Mite, and I literally drip sweat on the floor when I do that one, so I give myself 4 points. Lately I bank about 17 exercise points in a week, not including light exercise like strolling or shopping. I lose weight better when I don't eat those points.

This past week I banked more points than usual because of last Tuesday's events; I just completely lost my appetite. I made up for it, of course, on Saturday -- a whopping 46 points!! (That was the day I ate out for two meals.)

My home scales are up 2 pounds this morning. I think at least some of that is hormonal. I suspect the WW scales will be even higher tonight, because I'll be wearing blue jeans (which weigh 2 pounds just by themselves) instead of linen shorts, my summer weigh-in uniform. That's OK; my body fat percentage hasn't gone up at all, so I know I'm doing all right.

When and if you'd like to talk more about some of your projects, I'd love to hear more about them.

Judy, I'm so glad there has been healing between you and your dad. I blamed my dad for a lot, too -- mostly rightly, but not all of it -- and forgiving him lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. It took me years of prayer, though.

Have a good day, everyone.

--Lauren
274/214.5/199 by Christmas (home scales, morning)
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Old 09-18-2001, 05:02 PM   #6  
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Hi, Turtles,

Judy, I'm also glad you were able to heal your relationship with your dad. Parent/child issues can really cause problems for us after we're grownup.

I know what you mean about having more time after the kids move out. It helps a lot and may be part of the reason why it's easier to deal with what I've been discovering and feeling lately. In addition to having the time, I also know I won't be interrupted when I'm journaling by adolescent angst, in all of its drama and immediacy.

Lauren, it's so great to read your careful analysis of how you're doing. It's also impressive that you've found what works for your turtle body. I can remember how frustrated you've been for a long time because you kept going back and forth, gaining and losing the same gosh darn few pounds. But you persisted and you're reaping your rewards. Great going!

Hmmm. . .my projects. Well, I can't talk or write specifics about my fiction. Sounds a little weird, but I discovered a long time ago that I can write the story or I can talk about it, but not both. However, I'd love to send it to you for a critique once it's finished, if you'd be willing to take a look at it.

The photographic essay is quite a strange project. It deals with how I dealt with my early childhood feelings at the time, when I was a child, and the memory is one I had a lot of guilt feelings about. I'd rather not post it because part of it could be quite disturbing for some people. If you want to know more, I'm OK with sharing the details via email. Just let me know and tell me if your email address is the same, Lauren.

The other project is such fun! I have long had a character stuck in my brain for a children's book or series. He's a bear. He's like a child of somewhere in the neighborhood of 5-7 years old. His name, if you ask him, is Theodore Edward Bear, Esquire. He heard about a person with an "Esquire" after his name and liked the way it sounded. So, he's Ted E. Bear, Esq. One day a wizard came to his house and took him on a voyage to lands on other planets, other worlds, other dimensions. He was back in time for dinner. My original project was to create postcards of photos taken of him in these strange and wonderful places.

The photos didn't work as well in postcard size as they did blown up as enlargements for a scrapbook. A scrapbook was how the project ended up being presented because the printers in the lab wouldn't print on the postcards, even though we followed the instructions in the darn manual! I wrote text from Ted to his mother, written as if by a precocious child just learning to write.

But, the real story is in why the wizard took him on the journey in the first place. And what Ted did that the wizard couldn't do. I want to write that tale and illustrate it with digital photos. My plan was (and is) to create illustrations that look like Ted asked people to take photos of him to send back to Mama.

The other thing I want to do is to add Hunny Bear, illustrated by a bear (same name) my dh gave me as a gift. She's Ted's friend. They will travel together and have this grand adventure. Unfortunately, I need access to a film scanner or a digital camera of the Nikon Cool Pix variety in order to take photos of her and include her in the illustrations. So, doing the illustrations will need to be put off until after Christmas when I can take another class that will give me access to the equipment I don't have at home.

So, that gives me a lot to do. As for WW, I'm back in the mode where I'm not actively trying to lose weight right now. I know why this is happening and what I need to do about it. I've been using my journal extensively this week. This week has been a weird experience for me because I know that taking care of my health is one of the answers to the questions I'm asking, but I need to work through some other stuff before I will have the mental energy to focus on that process. And I know exactly what topics I will be exploring in my journal for the next few days. That sounds weird to me, but I know that it's how I feel. I feel as if my mind is taking me on a journey I need to go on and I just have to follow the path it's taking. You can think I'm weird, if you want to.

Hope you all are doing great! Hope to hear from the rest of you turtles soon.

Happy turtlin'!

Lin
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Old 09-19-2001, 09:41 AM   #7  
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Lin, I love Theodore Edward Bear and his postcards! What a wonderful idea. If you take photos and need them scanned, let me know; I have a scanner and would be happy to do that for you. I also have a digital camera, but I'm not sure how that would help you.

My email address is indeed the same. Share whatever you're comfortable sharing. And of course I'd love to read your fiction when you're ready.

My WW meeting last night was about activity -- why we don't do it, and why it's so good for us. Our leader is asking us to do activity 5 days this coming week; those of us who do that can enter our names into a drawing for a cookbook next week. Hey, I'm there! :-)

I gained .8 of a pound last night. Considering that my jeans weighed 2 pounds, I'm quite pleased. My scales this morning have me back down to 212.5.

Today will be a bit of a challenge food-wise -- going to a friend's house for lunch, then having a potluck party tonight with former co-workers. So I think I'll go do my tough workout now so I can at least have those extra 4 points.

Onward and downward,

Lauren
279/218.something/199 by Christmas
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Old 09-19-2001, 01:56 PM   #8  
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Hi, Turtles,

Lauren, I bet you've actually gone down a bit. After all, you did note that it's time for monthly water retention. Good going! Hope you win that cookbook. I'm rooting for you!

Your plan for dealing with your challenging food day is a good one. Extra exercise always helps. I hope you've planned a low point dish for your contribution to the pot luck. That's one way I deal with pot lucks. But, I've had occasions where my table is the last to hit the buffet line and my low-point contribution is gone!

Thanks for the offer of the scanner. It will be a while before I will need to do the camera work, but I'll let you know if I do end up needing pics scanned. Also, I'm grateful for the offer of a reader for my fiction. It's hard to find people a writer feels comfortable showing works in progress to.

In my morning journaling this week I have made some amazing breakthroughs that will really kickstart my weight loss program again. I found out, as I said before, why I got fat. Well, this morning I was able to let that child who sealed her body in this protective cushion tell me what she needs in order to feel comfortable coming out.

Much of this has been painful, but I feel really peaceful about it all. I've been acting so different. Usually I frantically make lists and plans and efforts to fix the things I think are wrong with me. That's the root of the issue. I was taught that I was wrong, bad, incompetent because I couldn't do things perfectly the first time, choose the negative things parents can (usually unwittingly) pass on to their children (usually because they don't understand how different children's logic is from adult logic). So, I'd frantically try to make myself perfect. All I wanted as a child was to be good and for my parents to approve. (They never did and never will. That's OK. I worked that issue out a long time ago.)

But, I needed to figure out why that was keeping me from accomplishing what I so desperately want to accomplish. I finally realized that I didn't think I deserved to have what I wanted because I couldn't do/be what my parents said was "right." I thought I had to make myself what they wanted before I would be worthy of having my own desires. Logically, that's crazy. But small children don't think like adults and it's the small child left inside who needs to be convinced that she's good. She just makes the same mistakes to learn from that everyone else makes.

Anyway, I now am beginning to find out what I can do that will make that small child feel willing to give up her protective shell. There are a lot of small "gifts" (many of which are intangible) I can give myself that will allow me to express my intrinsic value. That's what I need in order to stop sabotaging myself.

So, as you so often say, Onward and Downward!

Hope all of you silent turtles, lurkers, and the curious bystanders are doing well. Hope your journeys are less dramatic than mine and much simpler.

Happy turtlin'!

Lin
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Old 09-20-2001, 11:05 PM   #9  
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LIn,
I'm so glad to hear the tremendous progress you are making in finding yourself. You are inspiring. Good for you.

Lauren,
So glad you're working out the exercise, etc. I am so pleased that writing in this group is paying off for you.

All,
I'm having trouble doing what I want most because I am letting food and circumstances get in the way. 199#by Christmas ==here I come! I want my resolve back.

Love and good wishes to all,
Judy
234/thinner
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Old 09-21-2001, 12:02 AM   #10  
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Hi turtles. Thought I'd give you an update about happenings with me.

DH still looking for a job, but getting a lot more nibbles, now, so we're hopeful.

School is...going. Stress is getting on top of me and I'm having difficulties, but DH is helping me and my profs are sympathetic.

Work WOULD be going except we had a devatating electrical fire before the club opened this morning (I work in a woman's gym) and extensive damage was done. The owners say they still want us to work for them, we will still be paid as usual, they'll get everything sorted as quick as possible. So, I'll find out at the meeting in the morning what's going on there.

And! I know, save the best til last. I finally went to the doc and had extensive tests run. They came back normal--thyroid, iron, cortisol, blood sugar, everything. I was talking to my doc and she suggested I keep a food journal. So I pulled mine out of my purse and I said "I DO keep one. I do everything I should be doing!" She looked through it, and looked up at me and said "Where's the chicken? Fish? You're not getting protein here..." and I told her I'm vegetarian. And therein was the problem.

I've been so distracted with work and school and money worries that I've been forgetting to get protein! I went back through my journals and figured it all out, and I was only 4 or 5% protein on some days. All the symptoms I have/had--being tired, weak, easy bruising, losing hair, brittle nails--are also symptoms of a protein deficiency.

She strongly suggested I eat meat again, but I refused. So she suggested I go to a nutritionist, but I can't afford one right now. SO she suggested that I count my protein grams daily, and try to get at least 60 the first week. I've managed to do that, and I feel so much better! WOW it's amazing really. I've had 60 grams of protein for the last 6 days, and I'm feeling so incredibly much better. And I've been within points, too, and at my meeting tonight I lost 1.2 pounds. I've been the same weight that I started at for three months now--either a bit of a pound below or a bit of a pound higher. So this 1.2 is my total loss, for three months of trying. But I'll take it, it's the right direction at least!

One thing we also noticed is that my blood pressure has been elevated. She put me on a diuretic rather than just jumping in to beta blockers, and I have an appointment in one week to see if it's gone down. Here's hoping, I REALLY don't want to be on beta blockers! No one in my family has a healthy heart, I have a strong family history of heart disease, and I really want to avoid that path if I can. So that's my motivation, now, and it works SO much better than trying to lose pounds (when losing pounds wasn't working anyway). I look at food now and think "heart meds" and walk away.

Anyway, so I'm functioning better. Just thought I'd update everyone, thanks for encouraging me through all of this. The first thing I thought tonight at the meeting was "Gotta tell the turtles!" You guys have been brilliant.
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Old 09-22-2001, 09:22 AM   #11  
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Mousie,
Wow! It is amazing what protein or lack of protein can do. I am so glad your doctor was able to say what was needed to get you back on a healthy track. I am soooo glad you lost weight this week at WW. Isn't it a great feeling? Great hearing from you, especially with such a positive message. As far as needing meds, go for the weight loss! You've got the right idea and we all know you can do it. Here's all the support in the world right at your fingertips.
By the way, as a vegetarian, what are you using as protein right now? So glad you posted. I've missed you.

Lin,
Wow! I read all your recent posts again and don't know where to start. Your idea for the children's books are incredibly good. I'm sure you can be published! The Ted E. Bear and Hunny Bear are really cute. Hey, get published and I'll buy a copy for my granddaughter, Claire! That would be too cool.
I also read through your journey with your past and the sadness there and the ability of you to emerge from the misdeeds done a long time ago. I wish you all the best in your pursuit. Write it down, get the photos together if that's what helps, work it out. It's a tough journey, but will redirect the path the rest of your life takes. I'm really proud of you for realizing that this is what *you* need and what you're going to do.

Lauren,
Wow! Your exercise program is really awesome. You really work out and I am sure that not using the exercise points is what is helping you to drop those pounds. Good for you. I have to say, finally not having to worry about TOM makes life a lot easier as far as having fewer physical fluctuations in my eating program.

Now I've got to get on track with food and exercise again. I am not bingeing, but I'm not exercising, nor am I journaling or drinking water or counting points. Now--that's ridiculous! So Here I go again;--back on track and doing the right thing for myself. Love you guys--you make a difference in my life.

Hey Kimmers and Harley--come back when you can. I miss you!

Judy
234/thinner/ 199#by Christmas!
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Old 09-22-2001, 03:44 PM   #12  
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Hey, Mousie! Great to see you, as always. I'm so glad they finally nailed what was wrong, and I'm so glad you've already seen a turnaround in your health. Do you eat soy protein? There are loads of protein shakes out there, most built on non-meat proteins. Are you also taking your B vitamins, since you can't get those without meat otherwise? Those have made a huge difference in the health of my skin and hair.

Sorry to hear about that fire, but that's great that they're still willing to pay you to work. They must value you.

Judy, always great to see you, too. Yes, the Turtles have kept me sane and on track many times, too. So what motivates you to lose weight? What could you do right now that would be just what you need to re-focus and work at it again? I think just spending time figuring that out could be time very well spent. I know it has been for me numbers of times when I've run out of steam.

This morning I saw a new all-time low on the scales -- 210!!!! That's what I was hoping to hit before we go on vacation, which happens this Wednesday. After seeing such a high number on the WW scales this past week due to heavier clothing, I wanted a pick-me-up, so I weighed in at home this a.m. I just felt thinner. And I was! I also checked my measurements, and I can now fit into L.L. Bean's largest Misses size! (Size 20, or XL.) This especially heartening because we'll soon be in Freeport, Maine, and I want to visit the L.L. Bean factory outlet.

And best of all -- I FINALLY WEIGH LESS THAN MY HUSBAND!!!!! OK, so he's almost a foot taller, and I'm only a half pound less -- I'll take it!!! :lol

Onward and downward,

Lauren
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Old 09-22-2001, 04:57 PM   #13  
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Hi, Turtles,

Judy, I wish I could zap you with magical resolve dust. Most people talk about a sort of "click", like an "aha!" that gets them moving and keeps them going. I know that I've had "clicks" in the past and gotten going for a long time, then something else crops up and I slide back a little. Then another "click", and it's back to moving forward. I think that's why I love the turtle persistence idea. It allws me to complete the jouirney in my own way, in my own time.

My best suggestion is to write down all of the reasons that you want to lose weight. Also, write down the other benefits of following your program. like better health, and so on. Somewhere in that list is the thing that will "click" for you. Good luck!

Thanks for the good wishes re: my kid's book and my journey. I've written about 1500 words on the kid's book this week. Not a lot, but it's more than I had been writing lately.

Mousie, wow! Isn't it great when symptoms are so easily fixed? Congrats on the weight loss. That's terrific! Glad you updated us. We've been wondering about how you're doing. Still thinking about your dh and the job situation. I'm sorry to hear about the fire, but it's great that you're able to keep some money coming in.

Lauren, super congrats on reaching 210! You're really moving, in more than one sense of the word. Have fun at the Land's End Outlet. I envy you your shopping spree, just a little. And on weighing less than your dh.

I don't know if that's an achievable goal for me, unless my dh stays overweight. He's only 3 inches taller than I am and has a super small frame. His best weight is only 140 pounds, but he says that he'd be happy at 160. Mine is--well, I'll let you know when I get there.

I'm making progress on all of my projects. But, I need to earn some money if I'm going to do any photography. Supplies are pretty expensive. So, I went online and surfed the job boards. I found a photography studio in San Jose that is looking to train a photographer. I have to call back Monday because I connected with a very ditzy operator who didn't know anything. I'll let you all know what happens.

This job, if it's at all what the ad states, pays enough that we could move back to SJ in about 6 months. And it's a trainee position to start. They don't require experience. So, unless there's a catch I don't know about, it sounds pretty good. Commuting will be hard, but it will only be until I'm sure I will be keeping the job and we have deposit money for a new place saved up. And I could take the class I want to take to do my photo essay. And the best thing is that I'd be doing something I love, instead of boring jobs that only have a paycheck to recommend them. (They're not bad jobs. They just don't suit my personality.)

I've decided, after a perusal of my calendar, that the best thing I could do for myself is to wait a week or so, until after TOM, which is imminent, before I start counting points. OTOH, I've been doing some walking. And not overeating. So, I'm pretty happy with where things are right now.

Good luck to all of you turtles. Hope to hear soon from those of you who haven't been able to post.

Happy turtlin'!

Lin
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Old 09-22-2001, 05:58 PM   #14  
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Lauren,
Way to go! You are really doing it! That's great that you hit 210#
Keep it up!!!!!

Lin,
Keep us posted on the photo studio job and its possibilities. It sounds like it could place you where you want to be if it pans out.
Good luck.

I got myself to a WW WI this morning. I was up which was upsetting, but expected. The good thing is I'm back on track. The lecturer was phenomenal. I may just need two meetings a week right now. I'll give it some thought. I went grocery shopping right after the mtg. to stock lots of fresh veggies,etc. and I'm very happy about that.
Had a nice chat with my sister. She just wanted to hear my voice after the 9/11 tragedy. You all take care, turtle along as fast or slow as you know is right for you--I'm back on track with you.
Love,
Judy
234/thinner/199# by Christmas!!!!
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Old 09-24-2001, 07:26 PM   #15  
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Hi, Turtles,

Judy, I know it's hard when you're up a bit. If you need more meetings, go. Also, you might try doing some journaling. Just find a quiet time, pick up a pen and a piece of paper and write anything that comes into your head. I find it's most productive to think about a problem or issue before I fall asleep then write when I get up. It may take a little while to figure out what's going on, but you may find that some answers come.

Good job on stocking up on those fresh veggies and fruit. You are getting your resolve back, even if it's slowly.

Well, the photo studio job turned out to be a delivery/sales rep job. They had already hired all of the photographers they needed. I told her, thanks, but no thanks. I want out of sales type jobs. I asked her to keep my name in case they get any openings for photographers. She said she would, but I'll be surprised if I hear from them. It's easier to find people who want to take pictures than to find people to sell stuff!

TOM got here and I'm getting ready to start counting points again, when it's past the worst days. I'm counting the months until Paul gets health insurance and I can go to the doctor about this problem.

My newest insight is that I need do my dance videos. What I learned is that I really want to get in good enough shape to do ballet exercise videos. That's going to take a while, but I know I can do it. I just love to dance. And I need to get some other videos to use as workouts because mine are mostly at the same level. I need to mix it up a bit, as I get in better shape.

Hope everyone is doing fine. And, that things are getting back on track, if all of the turmoil in the world has affected your journey.

Happy turtlin'!

Lin
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