Lexxy I loved your post... thanks! Actually... I do enjoy my single life. I've never been someone who NEEDED to be in a relationship (GOOD THING - or else I'd be scr*wed!)
I love scoping out guys too ! And hey... I have a think for bartenders.... so maybe we have a bit in common!
So, yes... that's about it... I've had my "flings" too. I have met a few guys in bars (but I didn't do anything I regretted ever) but they never call, or they call a few times and stop. I did meet one guy while on vacation - of course - so the long distance thing was an issue from the beginning and it didn't last.
I'm a very independant person... which you learn to be when you've been single for 26 years. And I don't ever want to become dependant on a man.... but I would love to have someone to spend time with.
I'm thinking SOON SOON.... but I was so overweight in college that boys didn't give me the time of day.... and now that I'm slimming down and more confident.... it's too hard meet men.
I haven't the first idea of where to meet guys. Friends of friends are all taken..... man.
enough rambling..... I guess I just have to be patient.
I love how this is turning out to be the "single girls complaining" thread!!
Lexxy - I agree with Winter, if you enjoy spending time with this guy, don't worry about whether he is the one. One of the best relationships I ever had was with a guy that was not at all my type and who I could never figure out how I started dating in the first place! Just have fun with it and be true to your feelings and it will all work out!
Lisa - I'm sure your time is coming. I can't even begin to imagine how your confidence must be soaring as you lose weight and it's only a matter of time before guys notice it. Do you have any dating "parties" in Boston? There is something here in Chicago that is called "Fast Dater" It's at a bar and basically you get to talk to each guy for 3 minutes and then move on to the next one. You simply mark yes or no if you liked them or not, and they then match up all the yes responses and send you their e-mail addresses. It only costs $35 to attend and is really popular here. Of course, I haven't met many guys this way, but it is a good way to get yourself out there and get used to talking to lots of different types of people. The boy that I am supposed to go out with tomorrow (that I dated a few months ago) was the someone I met at one of these parties. The funny thing is there wasn't enough time to talk to everyone, so we never even met until after the party when we happened to chat briefly and he told me to mark "yes" for him on my sheet! Kinda weird, huh?!
Winter - There definitely are a few things in life that are better with men involved!!
Jen - Thanks. And yes, we have that in Boston also... but the last time my friend went, she said most of the guys were older. She said there were maybe 5 guys under 30 there total... so of course the gorgeous girls got them. Who knows... maybe I'll break down and go to the next one. But I have this fear of telling my grandchildren that I met their grandfather through a dating service.
Lisa - I say you should go for it (Do you have a girlfriend to go with you even if she doesn't participate she could hang out for moral support?) Don't think about one of the "dating parties" as trying to snag a date. Think about it as a way to possibly expand the circle of people you know. I know Jen met a great guy at one of these things but the odds are probably better that you'll meet someone who could be a friend who'll end up introducing you to the great guy.
Listen to me lecture today as though I'm suddenly a dating/relationship expert. Yeah right. Truth be told it was only about a month ago that I decided that no guy would ask me out ever if I stayed home every Friday and Saturday night. So lately I've been accepting any invitations that come my way from friends or co-workers. Don't always enjoy myself, but usually do, and I'm meeting a lot of people.
So duplex theory. I'm pretty sure that I'm congenitally incapable of living with a guy. So rather than get married, buy a house and live happily ever after, I've decided that the way to go is a duplex. Mr. Right gets one side, I get the other. We both have our own homes with all the joys that come from living alone but someone's always right there for the booty call. I'm pretty sure it's a viable option....just need to find the guy who agrees.
Wow, this thing is a book! I need to quit typing and start working.
I think just like you!!!! I want the available booty call , without the problems that go along with living with someone! (I've been there...) What a great idea to have separate sides of the house! And, I guarantee there have got to be quite a few guys out there that agree with that theory!
As for the dating parties, I think they are a good way to expand your social circle and sharpen up your dating skills. Around here at least, plenty of normal people go - they are just people that don't know what else to do to meet people. Yes, I met a good guy at one, but remember - I didn't even talk to him until after the party was over. But if I wouldn't have gone, I would have never met him. It's worth a shot, I think. If you hate it, you're not out much. (I would definitely go with a friend - it is a lot of fun that way!)
Wow -- I was avoiding this thread because I didn't want to even think about all the people who had bf's or husbands, etc...
Can I join the pity party guys? Although with me, too it's not exactly a pity party. Glad to know there's plenty of people in the way SINGLE boat with me! Good company.
Lisa, I haven't ever had a relationship either, it SUCKS! And I'm going to blame it on being overweight -- but I think most of it comes from the way I feel about being overweight -- like why would guys even want to go out with me-kind-of-thinking. Which is what I'm trying to change along with my size! So I'm working on it. Final goal is end of this year -- I want to be a smaller size (here i come, junior's clothes!) and be comfortable enough with myself that i can go after guys, not just wait for them to approach me! (and i'll step down off my soapbox...)
I'm also really comfortable being single though too-- don't have to worry about anyone not wanting me to go out with my friends to the bars, etc...
But, eventually.... you know.
And I shouldn't have avoided this thread so long cuz i am happy to join the single party along with lisa, winter, and jen.
OH, and lisa, around christmas i always seem to get some damn email showing santa being VERY hot under that suit!
Well single girls, looks like I may have re-joined you all. Big fight last night....trust me, this whole dating thing isn't even worth it sometimes. It's probably better to just not have had a relationship at all then to deal with all this drama.
ME TO ME TO ME TOO
H i'mback from ireland just wanted to ut my 2 cents in
A all men are screwed up
B i'm delightfully single tho everyone i know is pairing/shacking up
which kinda pisses me off b/c al the coupley friends do start to treat u like a leper grrr arg esp when friends date other friends bfs
C i like being single for the moment
* tho winters duplex theory just might be workable!
I have 2 boys both 3000 miles away
confusing boy and Ex BF who have professd their love pfffffffffffft
i think i'm just gonna beselfish for a bit and not give a @^!@#%2 about men
realistically ths can last a day lol
post more later
Hehe! This has got to be the most comforting thread EVER! Nice to know I am not the only hopelessly sinlge girl around here. Seems like all my friends are either in extra huge and serious relationships or at least have an endless string of dates going. And I can...count dates had within the past few years on one hand! Horrible, no? Had a sort of thing going on with this guy last summer...went out to dinner and a movie, and then he kept calling and calling AND I got this very creepy email which seemed to be saying, man, I wish I could have slept with you and perhaps we could do it next time? Consulted my brother and some male friends and they agreed....and I was just totally repulsed, so there was NO date #2 with him. Yeah, my love life is the pits. Although it may (please please please) be looking up soon. Will keep you all posted on that one
So, I posted some, but not all of my evenin on Saturday.
I am definately becoming more confident out, although the 3 drinks helped my confidence a bit also.
I went out with a bunch af girls, which I usually hate, because I always am the last to get asked to dance... if I'm asked at all. But two of the girls are in v. serious relationships... so they weren't looking at all.
One of the girls was telling me that most of everything is in my head and was giving me pointers on getting a guys attention. She said a smile and a hello will in most cases cause the guy to come over and talk to you. And I was thinking "yeah, if I'm as gorgeous as you." But she told me to try it and it totally worked. I had a few guys dancing with me all night. It was so fun.
What I posted on the other board... that I always think the guy is only talking to me because he's drunk and drunk guys will hit on anyone. So when this one guy came over to talk and dance, I was thinking he was just drunk. So he offered to buy me a drink.. so we walked over to the bar and he only ordered me a drink. I asked why he wasn't getting one and he said he was the designated driver.
It was just awesome that a sober boy wanted to talk to me and dance with me. And he was darn cute if I do say so myself.
When the bar closed he walked me to the bus stop and gave me a good night kiss. He was sweet. A little young, but that's fun sometimes. He's 23 and I'm 26.
He took my number but I never expect boys to call. They never do, but he does it would be a nice surprise. If he doesn't it was still good for my ego.
Then on the bus I had a guy come sit by me and was totally hitting on me. But he was wasted... but it was still fun. I could use small little boosts of confidences like that.
I have friends trying to talk me into the Yahoo! personals... but I just can't stomach that.
I am jsut going to keep putting myself out there. I know bars aren't the place to meet people... but I figure I'm going to meet friends out whenever they ask... because it just ups my chances of meeting new people. So tonight I'll be up way past my bedtime because some freinds are going out to see a band play at 10:30 tonight downtown. I'll be out past 2am.... so I'm not sure if it will affect my morning swim... but we'll see.
I loved your post... thanks! Actually... I do enjoy my single life. I've never been someone who NEEDED to be in a relationship (GOOD THING - or else I'd be scr*wed!)
And hey... I have a think for bartenders.... so maybe we have a bit in common!
, without the problems that go along with living with someone! (I've been there...) What a great idea to have separate sides of the house! And, I guarantee there have got to be quite a few guys out there that agree with that theory!
