Hey there. I just need to vent a little about my husband. Right now I am so po'd and frustrated with him. You guys know I work night shifts and I work every other weekend. When my husband is looking after our son I get very upset. A lot of the time they do nothing over the weekend. While I am sleeping most of the time they are in the house, my husband is holding down the couch while our son plays inside. I realize that my dh is tired on the weekends and heaven knows I am too most of the time with working nights I am sleep deprived most of the time but I put forth the effort to play with my son and take him outside and do stuff with him. Other times dh will be in the garage doing stuff and ds is in the house by himself playing. I'll ask dh why ds isn't outside with him and he'll say that ds didn't want to come outside. Ds is almost 6 and really he is a good kid and not likely to get into anything that he shouldn't but still we have to be forcing him to get outside of the house and do more things and I have been doing that a lot. I've been taking him outside and getting him to ride this bike a lot more these past few weeks. After I leave for work at 6pm my dh goes in the house with ds puts a movie on the tv and goes on his computer until it is time to put ds to bed. Like why can't he get ds to ride his bike like I do in the evenings or take him for a walk or something? I am just as tired as he is but how hard is it to sit on the porch while ds rides his bike up and down the sidewalk? Oh yes I have suggested this to him and generally gotten the 'I'm too tired' reply.
Okay so today dh was tired and headachey and grumpy because ds had a birthday party to go to and I guess he was bugging dh about it often. You know 'is it time to go yet?' every 5 seconds. So I happened to wake up close to 1, dh was on his computer, ds was downstairs playing. Ds was grumpy so I had a 10 second chat with him and went to find out what ds was doing. He hadn't had lunch so I made him something and turned on the tv while we sat together and he had lunch. Dh came down, said that ds had said he wasn't hungry around quarter to 1, (um yeah, make him lunch anyway?!) and he was po'd that ds was watching tv because he'd watched cartoons in the morning. Well is that my problem that you didn't do something else with him? So then they got ready to go to this party and are in the car and dh is getting po'd at ds because he can't get his car seat buckle done up. I"m standing on the front porch in my pj's because I am planning on going back to sleep. I see that there is something going on so I go over to the car and open the door and dh is about to get out of the car to do up the buckle but meanwhile he is angry. It is not ds's fault that he can't get the buckle done up because dh had moved the car seat and the other part of the buckle was not in the right spot. So meanwhile I am trying to get the buckle done up and telling dh to get a grip and he's all po'd and finally I'm like just get out of the car, I'll drive ds to the party, I don't trust you to drive when you are in the this mood. After a couple of minutes of this they leave for the party. So I'm upset and crying and wondering if we should even be thinking about having another baby when he acts like this with the child we've got. I'm too upset to go back to sleep but I've got to go back to work tonight. I just feel like he is so selfish sometimes, he just doesn't seem to get that there are other people in this family too and that how he acts affects the rest of us. You know I have a lot of times when I am tired and grumpy and I won't say that I am always miss mary sunshine around my child. Sometimes I get a little angry at him for stupid things, yes just like my dh did but I don't act the same way. The child is almost 6 for crying out loud, you have to allow for that. Usually I take a deep breath and walk away for a minute or 2 but I always come back. I feel like dh just abandons ds when he is leaving him to play by himself for such long periods of time. It is almost why bother being around to begin with, what are you doing for him? I feel like a single parent a lot of the time, I'd just as soon take ds to a babysitter or daycare than have to leave him with dh sometimes for all that he gets out of being around his own father.
Anyway I am calmer now, still po'd but calmer. When they get back I know dh is going to be still angry and I will apologize for some of the things I said. I think there are a lot of things he could do to improve in being a father but I know I can trust him not to hurt our child physically. I said somethings because I was upset that I didn't mean. I still am really unhappy about a lot of things but I will have to find a way to work on those (dh doing more with ds when I am working or sleeping during the day on weekends). I am really starting to think about having another baby, if it is a good idea. Some other things happened a couple of weeks ago and I was having second thoughts as well then. As much as I would like to have another baby, I'm not sure dh is the best person to be a father. I know that there are men out there that are worse fathers, I think dh is generally a good person but I"m not sure he is cut out to be a father. He had a lot of issues growing up with his own parents and I"m not sure that he has been able to work through them enough so that he can be a better parent.
Anyway thanks for sticking with me if you read through this novel. I just needed to vent and get it out of me.