Hi all! This is going to be one of those marathon posts I think....so don't say I didn't warn you!
Welcome Ladybug! Happy anniversary a day late
Lori-You are doing really well. I'm sorry I've been so MIA lately, I'm gonna try to get on here more. My weight is way way up, my mood is way way down and I need some friends and support and I need to get my but in gear. Looking at your ticker is inspiring!
Jeanne, I was wondering where you were. I am sorry to hear about what your husband has been going through. I will keep him in my prayers and you as well. It's good things are settling down and you are able to focus on yourself a bit.
Things here are not great. I am really stressed, more so than my last post. I did end up getting some of my supplies for preschool. I am kind of annoyed with my boss though. Instead of researching stuff and finding a good deal on stuff like glue sticks from a school supplier, she goes to Walmart and buys 20 glue sticks for $10. 20 glue sticks are supposed to not only supply my kids but the rest of the daycare. It's dumb. But I got some stuff. I can't put write it off b/c we don't itemize, b/c we don't own our home. I've been laminating and making signs and gearing up for a really fun year. I am very excited. It feels like the one thing that is coming together. DS is really excited to come to Mommy's preschool too! It's his first year in preschool DD will attend the 4 year old class this year so it's her second year.
So DH bought me diamond earrings for my birthday in March. I took them out of my ears a while ago and placed them in the velvet lined drawer of my nightstand made for holding small things like jewelry. I went to put them back in and they were GONE! We tore the house apart and found 1 under the night stand. We cannot find the other one anywhere. I was devastated. My husband is really mad. Either I knocked them out somehow or the kids found them and were playing with them. They are small studs so not really easy to find in an old house with cracks and crevices and kids and pets.
So that was Thursday night. Friday I got up early after being up until after midnight looking for the earrings to head to Rochester, NY to see my best friend and spend the weekend. I needed to do some shopping and get the kids some clothes for fall. On my way DH calls me and says my new boss at the speech job called me. So I stop in a parking lot and call him back as we've been playing phone tag all summer and my emails are not getting through to him.
To back up a bit the IU9 (which handles special education in our area) found out that I hold a BS in Speech Pathology and several people from that agency have called me since I started teaching preschool in September last year. I kept telling them that I was happy in my current job and I did not possess a masters' degree or a PA certification and that my NY certification ran out. They would say something like "Oh bummer, we could really use a speech person in the area" Well in May or so the head of the IU special education department called me at my other job and all but offered me a job, part time full time anything over the phone and said he understood my wanting to stay where I am and that they could work something out, why don't I come in for an interview. Well the interview turned out to be this is what we need and this is what we can give you (it was a list of all the benefits and explanation about the ins which is really really good), he gives me some stuff to fill out: an application and the W4 and retirement and ins stuff.
He said they had two options 1) 3 days a week in NP as a part time position which would still allow me to get full benefits of a teacher or 2) 3 days at NP and 2 days in Coudy (the district in which I teach preschool for a private program not associated with the school itself) for a full time position.
I told him at this interview that I would be interested in part time, but would consider full time but I really did not want to give up my preschool. I LOVE teaching preschool. This is my passion, I feel like I have finally found my niche in life. This is what I want to do for the rest of my career. I feel like this is what I am meant to do.
I told him I would let him know if I was going to do full time or part time. Either way he said I'd get full benefits AND they'd pay for me to go back to school to get my master's.
He gave me information that I needed to fill out for my PA certification. This certification application was a HUGE ordeal and I finally got it in the mail. So now we're just waiting on the denial (which we already know they will deny and we'll appeal for emergency certification). Anyway during this whole application process I sent him emails stating my intentions to only take the part time position. Well apparently the emails were never received. Now like I said we've been playing phone tag all summer, he calls me at home when I am at work. DH calls me and tells me he called and I try to call back and have to leave voice mail. So the communication has been poor. When we can connect the focus has been on this application and a little talk on possible online schools for me to attend. We never really discussed the hours. I did not realize he did not receive my emails until over two weeks of sending them. I've talked to him briefly since then mentioning that I sent the emails, but he kind of cruised over them. Mostly our conversations are really brief and I feel like I haven't gotten or given any information really.
So here I am sitting in a parking lot on Friday with two kids in the car. I call the guy back and he's asking me about coming for an interview with the director and stuff. Ok now I thought I already had an interview I've filled out the w4 and stuff, but whatever. I explain to him that I can indeed come in for an interview, however I am filling in for the next two weeks at the daycare full time instead of my usual hours b/c everyone is on vacation and it would be best for me to do this interview before 9:30 am or in the afternoon, with ample time to arrange coverage at the daycare. He says that can easily be arranged.
Then he says, now you'll want to give them two weeks notice at the daycare. I said I already told them that I will not be in the daycare but I will continue to teach the preschool. He says this is not possible the position is full time only and that he has me in NP and Coudy in the Coudy preschool for the IU9 at least one day a week (now the IU9 preschool is a special education preschool, very much unlike what I currently do though some of my students attend both my program and the IU9 pre-k).
I am shocked. I explain to him that it was my understanding that the position could be part time or full time and I do not want to give up my class. I said I communicated this in the email, but due to our difficulty connecting that perhaps we have had a miscommunication. He says it's impossible for me to do it part time. I am trying not to cry (already emotional over the long night looking for my earrings AND my kids are tired of sitting in the parking lot and are starting to scream at each other). I say well I am committed to preschool and can not leave them high and dry two weeks before school starts, nor do I want to miss out on this opportunity to work for him. I also express that I do not want to leave him high and dry two weeks before school starts. He kind of back pedals and says he'll have to talk with some staff and in the meantime he'll keep working on my certification. I mention that I do not want to give up my preschool and I thought with the position in NP being three days a week I could do speech MWF afternoons and all day Tuesday and Thursday to equal the three days and still keep my class allowing me to have the best of both worlds. But if I have to choose between the two I am not sure what I would do and what would be best for my family.
Preschool I make nothing. $115 a week. No benefits. DH's job is very unstable. He did not get the position he was interviewing for. He carries our ins. So if he loses his job then we have no ins if I don't take this speech job, but if I take the job and he loses his or has to change jobs and be without ins temp. we have a back up.
But before I got married, well before we had kids we knew I was going to stay home when we had kids. I hated doing speech, I had no intention of going back to school for my master's in speech. I considered other careers, but I knew I had time before the kids went to school and that time I was going to commit to them. And I had that for a year and then these things kept coming up; these opportunities that I couldn't let pass up and the entire time I was thinking soon I'll get to stay home with the kids. This next school year is DD's last year before school. This spring I was really looking forward to this fall in having the kids home two days a week. DD is learning to read, DS is learning his letters and I was looking forward so much to being home and enjoying those things. Taking the kids to the library, going to the park, walking all the things I couldn't do when I was staying home with other people's kids while babysitting or when I was working full time. I was finally going to get my chance to be with my kids. And yes it was a financial sacrifice. But I feel it is worth it. This is it. This is all I get. In one year I am going to be sending my baby off to the real world to be influenced and shaped in a large part by other people.
We struggle financially. I don't want Disney world but a house that is not falling down would be nice. Not stressing when the car breaks would be nice. Being debtf ree would be nice. This job would allow those things.
I am so upset I could just throw up. I can't turn down the job if it is part time. But if it full time only I don't know. I think it would be too much to give up. Either way it's not more time with my kids except for the fact that DS will be in my class. But at the very least I get to keep my class.
Sorry this is so long, tomorrow will yield more information b/c I plan on calling the guy and clearing the air. But right now I am stressing and I am sad.