I haven't posted here in a couple weeks and I'm having a really rough time.. I can't seem to get out of the 160's, I've been stuck for 6 months and while I'm not giving up, it's definately frustrating. It's my fault that I'm not losing, I keep going back and forth, back and forth. I've become too comfortable with my weight and that's a problem.
So here's a major issue I am now facing.. My husband was laid off last Wednesday from a company he had been with for 8 years. He has been depressed and crying on and off because he doesn't know what we're going to do financially. I am working but make very little as an EMT, definately NOT enough to cover a mortgage, utilities, 2 boys in hockey, a daughter with braces, etc.. This event has affected my eating habits and I managed to binge my way up to 170 last week. In fact, my husband and I drank and ate, drank and ate. We've NEVER been drinkers but for some reason it felt right. I have now picked up extra shifts at work which consist of LONG 12 hour days and I was also hired at the University of Michigan Hospital working on the Ortho/Trauma Floor. It's a few dollars more than I make at the private EMS company I work for and includes benefits.
I am wondering how I'm going to afford the healthy foods I buy weekly at the grocery store. I love my veggie burgers but they're $4 per box and only inclue 4 burgers. Further more, I'm wondering how I'm going to be able to track, measure, and keep myself accountable! I know I have to but it's going to be difficult.. I never in my life thought we'd be faced with something like this.
I have been in this situation twice....My husband was released because of budget cuts when I was 6 months pregnant (we had a 4 year old at the time). He was able to get another job and we were doing great. Then, he was released when my third child was about 8 months old (and now we had 3 children). My second child was born with a birth injury and he was released the last time when we were paying for her to go to a special school that provided therapy in a special learning center where she wouldn't be injured.
It's not the end of the world. I prayed A LOT and really learned the meaning of trusting God. He was unemployed for months and things worked out. We grew closer as a family and our marriage was stronger.
My husband actually went through a depression (undiagnosed) which put even more pressure on me, while I was working and still trying to manage the kids.
There is sunshine after the rain!!!! Sending BIG HUGS your way.
Kimberly, that is such a beautifully honest post. I know what you mean about being comfortable with your weight. I was there 20 years ago. I'd gotten down to 10 pounds above my top acceptable weight, looked almost OK, started getting the "how much are you going to lose?" comments, and, just maybe, began to be scared about losing more. I can't tell you how to solve it, because I didn't, and gained well over 100 pounds after that.
It looks like you're doing everything you can to shore up your financial situation until your husband finds another job. I think anyone would have a reaction to what happened. It's a shock, on top of being a very practical problem. I hope that time will let you and your husband get back more in balance.
The only practical advice I can give, is that $4 for a box of 4 burgers is only $1 apiece, which is cheaper than even fast food. I'll bet if you go over your meal plans you can cull out a list of cheap eats.
Like free, I send you BIG HUGS. I hope others will be able to be more helpful. HANG IN THERE!!!
I know you have a lot on your plate, but hang in there.
As far as food, winter is the season of soup! I bought a bag of barley a bag of lentils and a bag of split peas the other day and only spent $6. That stuff goes a long ways and is healthy. May be time to join the couponing folks. Lots of good web sites for that.
I lost a job one time as well, so I can relate to how your DH feels. At first I was very devastated, and frustrated and angry. But after a bit I came to realize, I'm not identified by my job. It's a tough thing to work through, but in the end it worked out.
There are always other opportunities out there. A perfect time to explore other options. You have the U of M. Way busy this time of year with all kinds of sports, activities, and so on. May be an opportunity there. Might not be what he's used to or what he thinks he wants, but heck, a perfect time to try something new! You're also bearing down on snow season. Look around at companies that do snow removal. Get a CDL, if he's got a good driving record, all kinds of places are always looking for someone with a CDL. Even snow removal and lawn care places need guys with CDLS to drive pickups and trailers. I don't know what he did at the company he worked for, but is there any chance of consulting or free lancing?
In the meantime, he needs to get signed up for unemployment and you need to hit all the social service programs. You've been paying taxes to support these programs, so now it's time to get a little back.
Hang in there! It will get better! If all else fails there are all kinds of jobs out here in western Nebraska. Our economy is still good! Most likely both of you could come out here and have jobs in a few days.
What a heartfelt post! I am so sorry this is happening. You are already on the right track and looks like you have been doing this a while, so go back and look at those menus for things that you can cook up and freeze pre portioned and pack those for lunch with lot of no point snacks.
I know if you are working the floor in a hospital you may not even get a lunch or break so take lots of pockets snacks on workdays. I too work 12's and I hate them, did I say I have them, they thought this was a great option now it is the way it is too bad I am getting to old for that kind of stress and running and only in my 50's. You can do it!
So sorry to hear you are having these problems. You may need to do some basic calorie counting when the healthy foods are too expensive. do you have large asian markets in your area? I find the large international/Korean/Asian style markets have really good prices on staples-rice, vegetables and fruit.
You've been paying into the system, now it's time to use the services to get help you need during this trying time. Find all the local social services in your area and use them as needed. Don't feel bad about needing these services now. When things get better you can donate back to the groups you've accepted help from now. Find the sales and stock up as much as possible.
You have done a wonderful job in losing so much weight, please take a breath and find a way not to regain. I know it's hard when everything is so stressful but you don't need the extra stress of gaining back all that weight. I know, it's hard not to.
Maybe can you start talking with your mortgage provider early and see if there are any programs to help in your situation? I don't know how they work so don't know if it hurts to do it early or not.
Thankyou so much for all the wonderful replies, I really appreciate it. I'm starting to feel a little less stressed about the situation my husband and I are being faced with. I have to be positive and believe that everything is going to be ok for my childrens sake. I'm blessed that I still have a job and even though it doesn't pay much, it's still a job I love doing. The upside is I can make my own schedule and work as many hours as I'd like. The downside is that if I choose to work a ton of hours, I won't get to see my kiddos or husband very much and I definately won't be able to make it to the gym.
Thankfully my husband is doing better and I think he actually likes being home because he gets to play Mr. Mom. He's been doing such a great job of taking take of the kids while I'm at work. The house is clean, dinner is made, he helps the kiddos with their homework, and makes sure they get to hockey/softball. I was truly blessed with a wonderful man and the most important aspect of our marriage is that we've stuck together during rough times and will continue to do so.
Last night I had one last binge (He did too) and I literally ate an entire bag of tortilla chips along with a jar of nacho cheese. I then moved on to a bag of kettle cooked chips and french onion dip. I feel bad because my husband and I walked 9 miles yesterday morning only to ruin it by binge eating but I needed one last day of letting loose. I'm finally ready to get back on track and really focus..
I think I'm going to try to incorporate a low-carb WOE while still counting points. I've been overdoing the carbs a LOT these past 6 months which is one of the reasons I believe I'm not losing like I was before. A few years ago I did Atkins, lost 60lbs and ended up gaining it back when I went off plan. I'm not planning on doing Atkins again but I do like South Beach and there are a few people incorporating that plan with WW. Does anyone here watch their carb intake?
Although I would rather not seek assistance when it comes to food, insurance, etc. I'm going to swallow my pride and apply. My husband and have NEVER relied on assistance and didn't want to but I have to think about my children and what they need. I think the reason we're so against it is because my mom who is a loser received everything the Government has to offer including SS. Her boyfriend who is also a loser has been on unemployment for a really long time and I have NO clue how he hasn't been cut off yet. Brian and I never wanted to be in the same category as my mom who uses and abuses the system when she is perfectly capable of working.
You have paid into unemployment so there is no shame in collecting it. Get what you can to help you until your husband is able to find employment. I noticed you are worrying about buying veggie burgers but you have chips and dips in the house. They are the items that can be cut out for everyone's health.
I do sort of a combo of Atkins and SBD (while still also going to WW meetings and counting points and calories).
I did a 2 week induction/phase I. During that 2 weeks I ate 40 or less net carbs each day. I ate no fruit, no startchy veggies during that time, no grains, no beans. I did allow nuts as a snack, however. Unlike SBD, I did allow full fat cheese/dressings. On the other hand, I do watch my saturated fat. I didn't try to eat low fat at all but did watch the sat fat.
After the 2 weeks, I moved up to 60 g of net carbs a week and then moved up to 80. I first added in berries and then after a couple of weeks adding whole grains.
I've been doing this about 3 1/2 months. At this point, I usually eat one whole grain serving a day, occasionally two. I eat some fruit (more of a veggie eater) but basically don't eat corn or potatoes.
On the other hand, I sometimes don't like the rigidity of Atkins or SBD. I don't eat many refined grains but sometimes I do. For example, I really like the Gorton's Skillet Crisp Tilapia. It was 15 g of carbs and that is from some light breading (you bake this tilapia, not fry it). The breading is not whole grain so Atkins and SBD would say this food was a no go during the weight loss phase. To me, the 15g of carbs fits well within my daily limit so I may eat one of these once or twice a week and if I do I eat no other refined grains that day. I feel better having a little bit of flexibility.
FWIW I find it easier to stay within calories/points eating low carb and I overall feel better.
I'm so sorry that happened! It is a shock isn't it. And so scary! But it sounds like you two have a handle on it now How great that he is taking hold of the home front! and that you did what you needed to get more shifts. I also agree that its hard to apply for help but it is only temporary.
And if you have credit cards, sometimes you can tell them that you have a drastic life event that has affected your income and they can temporarily adjust payments.
My husband was fired from his 7-year-job 2 years ago; he was able to collect unemployment because it was proven the grounds were unjustified. But we had to go almost 4 weeks without any income on his side while waiting for a decision. What a frightening time!! The tension was terrible. I was working, but I make about half what he does. I took dish washing shifts, taught some young girls cake-decorating, and even did a one evening stint as a 'personal waitress' at a dinner party...never again (at least not for that yucky lady hostess)
As you said you are blessed to have each other!! and your children. You have seen that you can get through adversity as long as you have each other.
Oh and as to the diet portion of this post I also lean towards a South Beach style WOE to help with those monstrous carb cravings. This has been a big stressful time for you but I know you have the strength to get back. Big congrats on your over 100 pound loss!!!
Kim, I'm selling my house right now. Life has been very difficult and this is where I find myself and my family. No point in going into the $hit details of my situation...but its been a while coming.
If you have to, put your house on the market. The alternative, like many in the world right now, is to stop paying your mortgage and go into foreclosure. Sorry if this is harsh, but life sucks, a lot, for a lot of people. The economy doesn't appear to be recovering. It is what it is. Do what you have to do.
I'm so sorry. I've been there. I hope things look up for you soon. But, there are still some things you can do. One thing to remember is that walking is always FREE. I had to keep telling myself that.
I know things are expensive and I hope you find your way. Why not post here low cost but low point ideas needed?
Kim big hugs, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I have a best friend that always reminds me when times are tough that "you will always find a way to get through". She's soooo right. I've been through ALOT the past year with losing my best friend, my dad. Somehow emotionally i get through. As for financial, that too was a concern as i bought a townhouse and a new car within a year and a half of each other. Somehow i manage. My job left me after 10 years, i was unemployed only to find a MUCH better job.....keep remembering that sometimes things happen for a reason, not all things, but some You will get through, take a deep breath.
As for cutting costs, if you think about $4 for 4 veggie burgers, that's only $1/day. That's completely reasonable. Think how much it costs to go out and eat/drink. I know you don't see it now, but somehow we all get through to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Something better will come along for your husband.
Having a rough time...
I know you have a lot on your plate, but hang in there.
Most likely both of you could come out here and have jobs in a few days.
(at least not for that yucky lady hostess)
I also lean towards a South Beach style WOE to help with those monstrous carb cravings. This has been a big stressful time for you but I know you have the strength to get back. Big congrats on your over 100 pound loss!!! 
I'm so sorry you & your family are going through all this right now. 
