Ellen - fingers crossed for the results. You're quite right: it's long-term health that matters. We all have to find out what works best for us. I see it as a personal challenge which changes its shape from time to time.
The shape my personal challenge takes at the moment is to juggle getting enough sleep, doing the straight leg exercises first thing in the morning, and going to the gymn. Against a background of too much driving around, cuddling a darling Boy (oh! and a darling Man), rodent control at the office, work, food, etc, et @#£ cetera. As ever for me, when it gets this hard, it can all be traced back to not enough sleep. I am an 8+ hour a night person and anything less than that leads to trouble.
Mel - legs, eh? Say no more. We understand. Thanks for asking about the knee. It's OK as long as I do straight leg exercises three times a week (sets of 10 down to 6 reps lying down, then sets of 10 down to 0 reps sitting up with my hands either side of the leg to stop the back doing the work).
2F, you are so right about junk food. I eat very little of it (peppermint Aeros in extremis) but I feel horrible afterwards. Regrouping about lax sounds good. £170 is a lot, I agree, but if you don't feel good about it ...
Mel, Ellen, Silverbirch, pat, 2F - thanks for the support. Today my husband is taking the kids to the science museum Nemo in Amsterdam. It sounded an exhausting expedition as they are going partly by public transport; Amsterdam is not feasible by car, but it is 1.5 hour from here by train.
Good news is that my husband has agreed to the terms of the psych. Also, he will be looking at a furnished cottage tomorrow, so he can be out by the end of this week. He looked very hurt when I said so, but the point is that I and the children cannot cope with this false hope issue much longer. My daughter told me yesterday that Daddy is not sure yet, and she is acting super sweet to him. I do NOT want her to think Daddy went away because of her not being nice enough. My husband wants to phone the psych to tell her his decision, and to tell her that he is NOT doing this if the goal is to make him reconsider. Whatever, I think we all will benefit from this 1 - 2 month time out, and with him out of the house it will be much easier for me and the kids to cope with the new situation.
As one way of coping I have just ordered a car navigation system on the internet because my main problem in daily life is that I always get lost. This was one area of life where my husbands help was indespensable, however, there is a technical solution and i am looking forward to getting it delivered to my door.
Ellen, I am keeping my fingers crossed for your spinal tap results.
2F - too bad on the lacrosse!
Silverbirch - glad to hear you are coping with the knee.
My husband will look over the holiday cottage today. He can move in immediately. He will be away for the weekend with his new love, so in practice this means that he will move out monday evening. So he will be home this evening, maybe sunday evening, and move out on monday. I have asked him to communicate this himself to the kids, so that they understand that this whole affair is his initiative. As said, I will cry for days when he is gone, but I also feel relief that he will not be around much longer.
Poor rabbit. It'll be less stressful for you guys with some breathing space I think!
I had a rubbish day yesterday, needless to say I went a little bit over the top - I had ice cream on top of my clean eats, oh and a few chocs at the cinema. Ho Hum! Back on track today! But I guess it was a minimal binge compared to the stressy-ness of the day!
We saw Wallace and Gromit - oh it's such fun! I loved it!
Double trouble kickboxing tonight! Hooohay!
Last edited by 2frustrated; 10-20-2005 at 07:51 AM.
Hi all - my spinal tap results all came back normal, as have all the other blood tests to date. This means that the markers for MS are not present. They will watch and see if another attack occurs before making a diagnosis. This does not mean I don't have MS, just that it is not definite. In other words, they cannot rule it out, but also cannot make a definitive diagnosis at this time. The neurologist does not believe it is right to start any type of a drug
therapy at this time, but it does make sense for me to consult with a nutritionist and physical therapist to make sure I am doing everything I can for myself from a lifestyle perspective. She has ordered another MRI of my spine to make sure. Additionally, she wants me to see an MS specialist at Georgetown University and run another MRI of my brain and spine in 4-6 months to see if there are any changes.
DH and I are both treating this as good news. I have learned some important lessons about myself and believe I am doing all the right things to be as healthy as I can be. I did ask point blank if I could have brought this on myself through overtraining and she said absolutely not (whew). She did caution to listen to my body and not overdo it as much as I have
(i.e., still no-go on the marathon) and to continue working out to the level I can without fatiguing. It is still important not to overheat or fatigue, as that
could bring on another attack since they cannot rule MS out (just not in, if you get my meaning).
So, today I plan on hitting the gym for cardio. I will do 30 min on the elliptical and, if I feel up to it, 15 min on the treadmill. Slowly I will come back. My goal is to do some cardio most days, get back to a 3-4 day run plan, in addition to weights Mon and Fri, Pilates on Wed and Yoga on Thurs. I will then work in swim sessions and upping the cardio. I am still planning on running Las Vegas, just not all 26.2 miles. Right now I am shooting for an "unofficial" half, as they are not sponsoring a half. Of course, this may all change based on the PT recommendations. I am back to workouts with my trainer and Pilates instructor and hope to start back to the Yoga sessions by mid-Nov (travel schedules and doctors' appointments, ya know). Speaking of appoitnments, internist today and optholmologist next week. Hopefully this will be it or years before my next attack. Thanks for being there for me, LWL.
rabbit - big hugs. I agree that it is his place to tell the children. This was his decision, after all. Of course, you will be left to pick up the pieces and it sucks, but it will get better, I promise.
2F - I read your posts and every day seems to be a confession of what you ate wrong. This does not help you. We are very good at beating purselves up and feeling inadequate. We all need to turn that kind of thinking around, for many health and psychological reasons. Concentrate and congratulate yourself for the eats you did well - one meal or one day at a time. In Volumetrics the author (I can't think of her name right now) stresses if you eat well 80-90% of the time the rest will be OK. This attitude has seen me through. Life is too enjoyable and too exciting never to eat ice cream or crisps again or to punish yourself for enjoying them. Let go and enjoy life - just not to the excess that got us here in the first place.
Mel - thank you for the kudos on my attitude. It has taken me a while to get here, but I am quite happy compared to a few months ago when I was moning over body fat percentages and scale numbers. Remeber? The advice you and the other LWL allowed me to let go of those and be ready to spend that energy on what I needed to do over the past 6 weeks.
He he, Ellen, I don't really beat myself up about it, but I treat these boards as my confesssionals! I just had a rubbishy day yesterday, and although I did comfort eat, it coulda been a heck of a lot worse! I am doing ok! I don't mean to come across negative!
I had a great week this past week, but this week for one reason or another some days have taken a small tumble!
Oh and I'm glad your tests have turned out ok in the end and I'm glad they're still keeping an eye on you
Ellen on good test results. You are so right to treat it as good news. MS is so scary to contemplate. I have know two people with it (cousin's wife and a co-worker) and both have good success keeping symptoms low with diet. Glad you can get back to your workout schedule too.
Rabbit - yes, he should tell the children. And yes, you'll cry, but it will be easier not to have his presence as a constant reminder. You have to grieve before you can move on. Big hugs to you!!
2F - We saw Wallace & Gromit on Tues night - we were the only 2 people in the theatre! Loved it! It's so laughing-out-loud funny
My arms are nearly recovered from Tuesday's workout. Yesterday's exercise was clearning the house. Lugging that vacumn cleaner up and down three stories works up a sweat. Tonight will be legs and a short cardio.
It's final - my husband will move out on monday. He is now gone to work & then off for a weekend with his new love. But guess what? I actually feel good this morning. I have been reading several self-help books on relationships and psychology, and this morning it dawned on me that actually, my husband, had made me responsible for his personal happiness. He tells me that he is leaving me because I failed in providing him with love, and he has now found another woman that does provide him with love.
IMO the only one responsible for one's happines is oneself.
This has lifted a burden of guilt for me. Also, it brings me to realise that of of course my husband is also not responsible for the happiness of myself or of my children. We are responsible for that and we do not need my husband for it.
We will grieve of course, but we do not need him for happiness.
Yesterday my navigation system got delivered and today the kids & I are going for a test drive in my aged mini. This afternoon we are going to see Wallace and Gromit together with my sister and her family.
We are going to have a good time.
Ellen- Great news on the results. However, please take care so you do not overtire yourself. According to my limited info, there is the possibility that MS and a whole lot of other mysterious conditions are in some way also linked to stress. Apparently a lot of stress influences your hormonal and immune systems and can deregulate them long term. The yoga sounds fine. I also try to do like 5 minutes of "getting out of it" meditation daily, along the lines of Kabat-Zin's full catastrophe living book, and I find this helps me in coping with my stresses.
Hello! Everyone sounds sorted today! Always nice to hear!
Went to "the fight factory" last night! 120 roundhouse kicks. In a row! On each leg! Then more roundhouse kicks with contact
Loved it though!
Had a good eating day yesterday! Started the day of with sausages today! I've run out of cottage cheese for pancakes, so I decided to have a fry up! (btw ellen, it's not a confession - I'm still OP!)
Good morning! I am feeling pretty good about myself as I nipped down to London yesterday for a hair cut. Yes, it is rather a long way and yes, it is a rather flash thing to do. I feel very, very good about it. I took a cushion and slept for hours on the train so I've topped up that deficit a bit. So, 2F, you're right and I'm another person who is sorted today. I haven't slipped up with my eating today, either. Fingers crossed. One moment at a time.
Ellen - I'm so pleased about your good results, and you sound very wise about easing back into training.
Rabbit - very, very good news about your husband moving out. You are having so many insights into your situation. Let us know how the navigation system works, won't you?
Oh Pat, I looked at Palmer's webcam but it was blank. Then I realised that it was probably night-time over with you, and the camera had switched itself off!
Rabbit - Wallace & Gromit is silly enough to cheer you up for awhile! Glad things are moving along well.
Silverbirch - yes, the webcam turns off at night. I knew the time difference last spring when I was faxing the UK repeatedly, but I forget now - 9 hrs? We're 4 hours earlier than the east of the US.
I'm having a quiet day here, getting caught up on projects that get put aside for the so-called crises. Makes me feel a little more productive.
Had a good cardio workout at the gym last night. Planning to go again tomorrow morning. If it doesn't rain (it's supposed to) I may go outside. I think I'm part cat, however. I don't like being out in the rain.
I had a great time yesterday at Wallace & Grommit. Also, the car navigation system is fabulous. I simply cannot describe the enormous relief from knowing that I will NOT be driving around anymore trying to figure out where I am, or getting a knot in my stomach because someone directs me to an address that I do not know already.
I am still all wired up from the adrenalins in my new situation, but I am feeling some inner peace by times, and I AM coping. I am taking measures to make living here more easy. Today I will be installing a cat-flap (which my husband never wanted ) to free myself from another little chore my husband always performed of remembering to put the cat in the shed in winter evenings and let her out again in the morning.
Also, as stated, I have bought the navigation system, because my husband always knew where we were. I will probabely get an new electric drill in time, because that is the other one thing that I know my husband always did because I could not: drill a hole in a stone wall.
Last anecdote: Friday he signed an email to me with "love ...(his name)". On purpose, because he says he still feels a lot of affection for me. And we put a cigarette lighter contact in my mini to feed the navigation system. I cannot figure this.
Yesterday morning he said that I should have stayed up so we could have tested the system together, so he could assist when I could not figure it out. I told him thanks but no thanks. The remark shows again that he does not think me capable of much. I am a mechanical enigineer with a university degree, with 20 years professional experience in the design of consumer electronics. Not to my surprise, my 13 year old son & I were perfectly capable of figuring out this system on our own.
Silverbirch- going to London for a haircut from Wales sounds absolutely extravagant!. How long does the train ride take ? The new haircut must make you feel absolutely fabulous! Good for you.
Pat- I also tried the webcam & it was switched off. So I'll try to remember to try again late in the afternoon.
2F - roundhouses ? I used to do karate at the university, but i was never very good at it. of course this was a techinical university, max 2 or 3 girls in training, and of course I always lost in sparring against the male students. But fun to do.
I am off to household chores, children on holiday and putting in a cat flap.
going to London for a haircut from Wales sounds absolutely extravagant!. How long does the train ride take ?
Yes, I have very extravagant tastes which get indulged very, very rarely. I like to go to London to see what city life is all about and to see friends. When my hair has to be held back with clips (yuk, yuk, yuk) then I go! The train journey is about 3.5 hours each way, give or take. I take one or two books, food and water, and (this time) a cushion and the time is all mine. Total indulgence. And I'm a much happier person for it. Everyone benefits.
Rodent update: two caught yesterday and two today! It seems that you can design a better mousetrap!
Food update (and shortish ramble). I'm still having a bit of trouble sticking to clean eats but much less so. I think it's connected to consciousness. My sleep dep has made me pretty unconscious of what I've actually been doing. You know, there are things which have to be done, I'd rather not do them but they have to be done or there will be repercussions (eg, collect child from school, laundry to ensure there are clean knickers, buy food, etc). So I do them, all the while wishing I was doing something else (usually sleeping). And I eat food to keep me going. You know the result. Since my London trip, which was completely and utterly for myself, things have improved.
Exercise update. More work needed. Now I'm more conscious I will ask myself Ilene's question: what exercise am I going to do today? Thanks, Ilene! Just doing that every day has helped enormously in the past.
You are doing so well, rabbit. Good luck with the drilling. Will you get a special masonry bit for drilling into the wall?
Do go outside, Pat! Enjoy the daylight whilst it's there!
Yeah rabbit kickboxing is a bit like that in the advanced class, 3 chicks at most! But I like it! I was in the minority at Uni, and at work (I am the only girl at work ) and I find it really hard to make friends with girls, especially really girlie girls! I guess I just don't find things like celebrities, dating, fashion and nail varnish that interesting! I'd rather be beating something to pulp or lifting big chunks of iron! I am so butch, I considered shaving my head, just so I didn't have to deal with the messy hair situation every day, but then I decided it might just be going a LITTLE bit too far!
Okay, I'm off to tidy and try and wake up a bit! Some low-cal chips have sent me to sleep with their carby goodness! Must get more protein!
Silverbirch - sounds like you are in the right track !
2F - I have been the token woman at work for years. I was the first female at my university to graduate in mechanical engineering. I also never was interested in celebrities, nail varnish and the other stuff you mentioned. However, I have never considered myself to be butch. Maybe different is a better word. And after about 15 years of male colleagues, when I got in the position, I preferred hiring females. In the technical profession I find they are often better professionally, better motivated and all in all I find them easier to work with.
My thought for the day this morning is that actually my husband was right in creatng this crises. Obviously, we were living in a major misunderstanding: That he needed to be the superdad to please us, so we would love him. And when we did not show sufficient appreciation, he turned to another woman. In my opinion this is a major faulty thought, and I am glad that it is not taught to my children anymore. I can imagine my husband harbors this thought, because he lost his mother at a young age, and when he failed to please his step-mother het was put in a foster home by his father at the age of ten.
Today I am doing household chores. I successfully put in the cat flap yesterday.
Silverbirch, I did not need the new drill for the work yesterday, but more in a general sense. I already have the special masonry bits, but I have very small hands and my own electric drill is sufficiently small and light for me to handle but not strong enough for walls.
Thanks to all of you for allowing me to air my thoughts in this whirlwind period I am now experiencing.
Poor rabbit. It'll be less stressful for you guys with some breathing space I think!
I just had a rubbishy day yesterday, and although I did comfort eat, it coulda been a heck of a lot worse! I am doing ok! I don't mean to come across negative!
on good test results. You are so right to treat it as good news. 
MS is so scary to contemplate. I have know two people with it (cousin's wife and a co-worker) and both have good success keeping symptoms low with diet. Glad you can get back to your workout schedule too.
Tonight will be legs and a short cardio.
Hello! Everyone sounds sorted today! 
120 roundhouse kicks. In a row! On each leg! Then more roundhouse kicks with contact 
I've run out of cottage cheese for pancakes, so I decided to have a fry up! 
