For heavy seated dumbell overhead presses, I do them one arm at a time and use the other hand to get the weight in place and provide a spot. For DB benching I place the weights on my thighs while seated and then lean back onto the bench. Definitely try this first with a light weight.
Getting really strong on hammer curls will help, especially with the "kick up" method Mel described for your OHP.
Some people also do floor presses with heavy dumbells ("Bench pressing" without a bench). Getting the 'bells into position on a floorpress is probably alot less risky than with a full range of motion benchpress.
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