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I don't know if that was an insult or a compliment

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Old 02-19-2009, 08:24 PM   #1
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Default I don't know if that was an insult or a compliment

I drug my tired butt to the gym today at a time that is apparently very busy. There were 4 trainers running around with clients. One of them was the "master trainer" whom I've never seen train anyone. So I pick up 15lb dumbbells to do a chest press. The trainer looks at me and says in a sweet tone "those are awfully big weights for such a little girl". Well, as a fat chick I do enjoy being called "little" so I will thank her for that but uh, I don't know about the rest of the comment. I'm not sure how to take it.
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Old 02-19-2009, 08:36 PM   #2
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Sounds pretty patronizing to me.
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Old 02-19-2009, 08:42 PM   #3
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Yes, it did sound patronizing. Her tone especially. Now, I know that I've always been confused for being much younger but since I've been so fat that hasn't' been a problem. I haven't had anyone think I was a child for a while now. So I don't think it was that she thought I was 15 years old or something silly. But maybe she did? That would be strange but I did have a girl try to tell my husband a child's ticket for me when we went to the move theater together. I was sorta complimented...and yet grossed out that she thought my husband was with a child. I don't know. It did seem patronizing to me. I didn't know what to say. I'm VERY shy so I just said "well, a little" and went about my business.

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Old 02-19-2009, 10:10 PM   #4
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Hey, as long as you knocked out those reps, it doesn't matter what she was thinking, because you showed her the reality.

Maybe you are one of the few women who ventures into the double digits or above 10 lbers when lifting? Are there a ton of other women lifters moving out of the vinyl coated weights range?
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Old 02-19-2009, 11:22 PM   #5
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I haven't seen many ladies going away from the vinyl. Maybe a few. There was one there today with me. I think I've seen her before. She's a college student from what I gather. Maybe the other ladies just need more encouragement from the trainers.

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Old 02-20-2009, 02:13 PM   #6
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I'd say "they sure are!!" and pump out my reps!!
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Old 02-20-2009, 06:11 PM   #7
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I occasionally get comments like that from men at the gym and find them to be distasteful. I usually ask if they need it (the dumbbells or barbell) when I'm through, which unsettles them. I've taken to wearing my iPod at all times and being blissfully oblivious.

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Old 02-20-2009, 08:50 PM   #8
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FB, you're a trouble-maker!

LB, that sounds patronizing to me, also, but into my early 30s I used to have people all the time thinking I was a teenager, asking me, "no school today?" and stuff like that, so maybe she thought you were younger? Still doesn't sound right, but who hasn't put their foot in their mouth from time to time, KWIM? Maybe she meant to pay a compliment and just screwed it all up. Or maybe she's just clueless. If she does it again, just act like she startled you and drop the weight on her foot.
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Old 02-23-2009, 01:58 PM   #9
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"Do you need it when I'm done?"

That is a great answer! I will have to remember that one in case I ever need to use it.

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Old 02-27-2009, 09:04 AM   #10
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Yes, I agree--patronizing. WTH is wrong with people like that? Why is it her business to step in and try to ruin your day. People like that are just begging me to knock them out.
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Old 03-02-2009, 06:10 AM   #11
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I have people think I'm a teenager a lot. I'm actually surprised when I don't get carded for alcohol. I think it's better to assume she thought you were very young, maybe it was the lighting or something, than she was being rude.
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Old 03-02-2009, 06:22 AM   #12
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That sounds insulting but she may not have realized it.

I wear an ipod at all times to avoid talking at the gym. FB, I liked your snappy comeback, if I'm doing something with big db like deads, nothing pleases me more than going to the rack and getting heavier weights than the guys are working with.
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Old 03-03-2009, 02:45 AM   #13
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What a nasty environment to be working out in! And she is one of the lead personal trainers?!

I probably would have smiled, then proceeded to do 12 reps with them, then move onto 10 reps with 17.5's, 8 reps with 20's, and finished off with squeezing out a couple with 22's.

I am sorry to hear that you were treated like that, it is rather poor treatment. Have you considered saying something to the management there? The gyms I work out in have lots of women lifting heavy weights, trainers included, and no one seems to give them a second glance. Unless I am just simply oblivious to the entire process...which is highly possible given my state of mind at the gym!
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Old 03-03-2009, 08:35 PM   #14
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Your gym has 17.5 and 22 dumbbells??????? I'm envious. I didn't even know they existed.

Nah, I won't go to management. I don't even know what she meant. Maybe she thought she was being nice?
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Old 03-03-2009, 10:10 PM   #15
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Really - (and I am NOT being snarky) - your gym doesn't have any heavier dumbbells? I've never been to a gym that doesn't have a huge array ranging from 2 - 100+ pounds. Maybe a new equipped gym is in order for you? Hopefully with better etiquette from the staff!

Last edited by FB : 03-03-2009 at 10:11 PM.
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