I have been lurking and reading alot here and have found your site to be wonderfully informative. I got the web addy from an LPN at the Lap Band info seminar I went to a couple weeks ago.
Having been overweight for many years, I have dreamed of losing weight and becoming "attractive", etc. All the things we hope for. But recently my whole perspective changed when I realized that I need to lose this weight to live. I want to be alive for my two children. I want to feel good and be able to do things I used to be able to do. I rarely think about the cosmetic benefits anymore. I am concerned with my health.
I understand that the LP is a tool and our whole life will change. We must change our attitudes and habits drastically to be successful. I know it will be very difficult and am resigned to the fact that my "best friend" (food for comfort) will no longer be there for me. However, I do have a question that admittedly gives me some concern.
Why/how can we expect to be able to change our whole life after the WLS when we could not manage to do it before? Is it because we now feel we have no choice? Or is it just that the surgery makes us feel more capable?
I have always gone through periods of commitment, intense will power, only to eventually fail and go back to my old ways. What is different that makes this work?? Am I destined to fail again, or will this drastic solution be the one that I manage to use successfully?
hi miss daisy - through the magical moderator powers, i moved your post into its own separate thread. you've asked THE question - and i know people around here will have some great answers for you. and they'll see your question, as well.
i'll be back tomorrow with some comments - i gotta take a shower and go to bed right now!!
That is a great question. And to be honest, I really don't know. I did it because I felt I had no other choice and needed to improve my health. We keep on getting banged over the head with the idea that this is not magic. It's a tool that we use to achive our weight loss.
I do believe that I will always have issues with food, that emotional connection is still there, but my physical need for food is reduced. I just get fuller faster and my body won't stand most of the crap anymore. And when I get stressed out and want to overeat like I tried to do today, my body won't let me.
I have not had the surgery, but thought I would chime in. I was watching Dr. 90210 last nite and it was an episode where 2 ladies had the abdominal lift. One had lost by eating/exercising, and the teen had surgery. In their followup, they showed them both out at lunch with friends. The older lady was just having coffee, but the teen was sampling french fries, some kind of creamy salad club sandwich, and was eating a bowl of french onion soup! I was just surprised and it drove home the point that if you don't fix your eating, the surgery won't do anything for you. I hated to think where she would be in 5 years at this rate. But the girl who didn't have the surgery said the main reason she didn't go with that is because she knew she would just go back to her old eating habits bc that was what really needed fixing. It was just a very interesting show. I normally don't watch it bc it is too cosmetically focused, but this episode was a good one.
I agree, I think it is definitely something of managing your issues with food and your emotions. I have worked hard for many years on my own eating issues. I admit, I used to binge, I used to hide my eating and I used to eat a LOT. One thing I've learned is that I can control my weight. Its hard but it is doable. I know the ladies here probably know better but I believe the WLS (total, not just lap band) success rate is about 60%(?) While those that lose a significant amount of weight and keep it off by diet and exercise alone is about 20%. I personally plan to be in that 20% for the rest of my life but its taken a hard long road to get there and I'm still obese.
It is frightening to think about all the things we have done to lose weight, all the times it has failed. To think we would do something as extreme as WLS and not know if this time it will really be different.
I am about 312 + pounds, 5'5", and 43 years old. I have a 9 year old and an almost 7 year old. I am also in the middle of a divorce. At this point in my life, I am concerned about my health. I have noticed over this past year that my weight is finally beginning to cause me real problems. My blood pressure is elevated, though not diagnosed as high. I have high cholesterol. My body aches and I am so tired all the time. I have to rest after I take a shower for goodness sakes, just to have the energy to get dressed! I don't fit on carnival rides anymore, I can't play ball or ride bikes with the kids. Even the comfort food makes me feel lousy these days.
I am definitely going ahead with the Lap Band unless something changes my mind before I get accepted. I am on a waiting list to even start the preliminary tests, diet/nutrition classes, etc. I am hoping to get started soon and be banded by next summer.
I know this is going to be the hardest thing ever, but I don't see that I have a choice. I can continue on my path to early death or do the WLS and change my life.
I'm happy to meet you all and i'm looking forward to a long, successful relationship with you!
Hi Miss Daisy,
There are no guarantees in this world. All we can do is make the best decision we can after gathering all the information we can and go from there. Good Luck with whatever you decide. You've come to right place for support
Miss Daisy, reading your post I can say I can relate to almost everything you said about how your weight is affecting you. I am still "on the fence" about WLS. If it was only up to me, I probably would have had it already, but my husband and my in-laws do not want me to have it and even my dr is not exactly 100% on it.
I know ultimately it is my decision, but I cannot simply ignore my family or of course my own dr. So for now I am desperately trying to lose weight the "old fashioned way" with healthy eating and exercise...................
Miss Daisy:
I'm scheduled for Surgery in 18 days. Do I think it will work? Yes, However I also think it will take work from the get go. My sister had the surgery and her advice was you have 18 months to 2 years to lose. If you don't learn good habits in that time you will put it right back on. I'm having my stomach made the size of an egg and having my "plumbing" rerouted. This is a big step and one it took me 4 years to make and find a doctor i trusted. I'm going to take the next 2 years to learn how to eat again the right way. It's a life and lifestyle change. Sorry for the ramble it is Monday
Kierie
I had the lapband and absolutely know it's the best thing I could have done for myself. Obviously I wasn't able to keep weight off in previous diet attempts, or I wouldn't have needed the band.
Yep, you do have to change your habits and be willing to work the tool. The great thing with the band is that you don't have to be perfect. I'm never, ever perfect at dieting anymore. In fact, that's one reason diets always failed me in the past. I would go into a diet great guns and be completely committed and eventually fall off the perfect wagon when I failed to lose weight for a week. Then I'd gain it all back and then some. With my band I'm much more reasonable. If there's something I want to eat, I eat it. I just don't eat as much as I used to. My loss is slow, but consistent. The band makes it physically impossible to eat huge amounts of crap (when adjusted properly). I can't even eat as much ice cream as I used to.
Another great gift from the band has been the ability to maintain my weight. I have had periods of time (like right now for instance!) where I'm not trying to lose weight very hard. I'm just not in the right mindset, but I'll get back there. The great thing is that I maintain where I am without much effort at all. In the past, the second I was off a diet, I gained like there was no tomorrow.
KO, lapbanders don't have the 18 month - 2 year time window that RNY people do. Since lapband is a restrictive procedure only, the tool works as long as you have good restriction. You are right though, we do need to learn good eating (and exercise) habits. As I always say, your tool works best if you work the tool.
Miss Daisy, you were right on in your post when you said that surgery makes us feel more capable. Once you start losing, changing your habits and find out that you have the ability to maintain, you will feel like finally you have found an answer to a long time problem. It's such a relief.
All great answers and insights. I guess I get it. I'm worried about another failure but I am committed to changing my life...saving my life. I know I can't just do it. Been there, tried that. I do believe the band will help me and am so anxious to get started. I'm also looking forward to sharing my successes and concerns with all of you!
MissDaisy.. Good luck on your new weight loss journey.. After my surgery, I felt like I had a chance because I was less worried about failing because by restricting my intake, it became so much more difficult to mess up.. Like everyone said, it'll take some effort on your side, but eventually, if you want it to, it will work..
18 months ago, I felt like you. For me, I thought I'd never be able to lose 10lbs and keep it off, let alone 100. I was scared, very scared, that my weight would continue to dominate my life, and increasingly restrict my health and wellbeing.
For me, surgery was a real possbility. In the UK it would be paid for by the government through the NHS, because of my morbid obesity.
I decided to change my ways for 6 weeks. Which I did. I ate sensibly, I exercised, I felt great. Then I did it again and again. I have weeks off occasionally, I have months off sometimes, where I relax just a little.
So far I have lost 64 lbs and kept it off.
I have 40 odd to go now, which sounds so much easier than 100lbs!
Whatever you choose, the surgery, the old fashioned way, whatever, know that you CAN do this. There will be lots of people saying you can't, people saying you took the easy way, whatever. Ignore them.
They're wrong, your a success story waiting to happen!
18 months ago, I felt like you. For me, I thought I'd never be able to lose 10lbs and keep it off, let alone 100. I was scared, very scared, that my weight would continue to dominate my life, and increasingly restrict my health and wellbeing.
For me, surgery was a real possbility. In the UK it would be paid for by the government through the NHS, because of my morbid obesity.
I decided to change my ways for 6 weeks. Which I did. I ate sensibly, I exercised, I felt great. Then I did it again and again. I have weeks off occasionally, I have months off sometimes, where I relax just a little.
So far I have lost 64 lbs and kept it off.
I have 40 odd to go now, which sounds so much easier than 100lbs!
Whatever you choose, the surgery, the old fashioned way, whatever, know that you CAN do this. There will be lots of people saying you can't, people saying you took the easy way, whatever. Ignore them.
They're wrong, your a success story waiting to happen!
Beautiful post! Choose to start changing your habits NOW then (and if) you have the surgery you will have a MUCH better chance of having the tools you need in place to work that tool!
When getting started on a new diet/lifestyle, I recommend one thing. Change One Theory. Change one or two things first (for example, drinking more water and adding more fruits and veggies), THEN when you are mastering (no such thing as masterED) that then add new habits (maybe watching calories/carbs or whatever works for you), then upon mastering that, add another habit. Sometimes when we get too gungho on a new diet, it does fail because it is very overwhelming and hard to keep up with for a long term. By changing your HABITS slowly, you stand a better chance of it actually becoming a REAL habit. I say changing your habits is more important that a scale loss (those will come with time). It ensures you have a healthier future. You can get the surgery and be restricted but if your entire diet is junky, you will still have health problems (maybe not gain as much or at all, but you won't be healthy and that should be your ultimate goal).
