Well I went through all the test and paid my fee. Got insurance approval and ultimately the date 3 days prior I decided I am not doing it. Beside being scared of the unknown, My husband made me do some serious soul searching.He took me out to my last supper if you will. He voiced his concerned. He said he knew surgery would be a breeze but what kind of life would it be afterward? He had done more reading and was worried about the calcium loss and ulitmate teeth loss. The pills need to substain nutrients. The complications which could happen anytime after surgery even years down the line. Then He asked me seriously,honestly if I was doing it for health reasons. Honestly I want to be skinny. I want to wear a size 10. Ok my feet hurt and my knees but thats it, I do have gerd but not bad. So I guess my decsion to have surgery was based on vanity. Shame on me. I know people need it. I support all who do..
I am disappointed in my self. I felt stupid afterwards. All I put myself and family and hubby through. I told various family members all who have said they would support me and the overwhelming reponse was Thank God. MY mom says..I love you the way you are. My very supportive mother in law offered to pay for me to go to Jenny Craig , Um I dont think so but thanks. And my husband.
Just replied. I love you for you. Not the number on a scale. Didnt you know that? Well Damnit no I guess I didnt.... why couldnt you say that when I began this journey, why can't you say that all the time? He apologized and said he thought I knew. He wanted me to make the decision and he wanted to support what would make me happy.
Can I say honestly that I happy with my decision. Yes...Cuttung my stomach to lose 70 lbs was NOT the right way to go. Am I happy weighing over 200lbs NO I am not. I am still vain. But that is normal.
I guess what I am try to Ultimately put out there is....If you are not more than 150 lbs over weight do some soul searching. The whole surgery thing is very scary and shouldnt be taken lightly.
Love Char