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Weight Loss Surgery If you've had it, or are considering it, share your discussions here

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Old 07-04-2014, 04:43 PM   #1
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I'm feeling pretty good right now.

I told my mom that I was considering weigh loss surgery.

To say that my mother and I have a difficult relationship is an understatement.

My mother's response to me telling her that I was getting allergies shots was to inform me that it's because of where I live and I need to move. (I have no clue where she thinks I should move, but I certainly wouldn't move closer.)

So I really had no idea what to expect from telling her about the weight loss surgery. Part of me was that I didn't want to tell her.

And she did alright. She actually said that she didn't want to influence me one way or the other so she didn't want to say much. She said that she knew losing weight would be healthier for me, but surgery had risks. And that was it. We then talked about our struggles with weight and had a pretty good conversation about it. She was amazingly non judgmental.

I'll admit, I find weight issues to be a particularly sensitive topic, and my mom has an uncanny way of pushing my buttons. But not today.
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Old 07-04-2014, 09:14 PM   #2
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Seana - that's a HUGE accomplishment!! The conversation will probably continue, and that's fine. It sounds like she just wants the best for you...

weight issues ARE a very sensitive topic - and all moms push buttons. it's written into the MOM RULE BOOK!!!!
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Old 07-06-2014, 04:56 PM   #3
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Great news Seana, hope your mom continues to be supportive even after the surgery! :-)
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Old 07-07-2014, 01:08 PM   #4
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I just hope my mom is not an obstacle. But I have high hope for her. I have also told my brother and SIL. Both of who were supportive.

I need to tell my coworkers and my husbands family. (I feel like they are the people who need to know.)

And today is my first counseling session.
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Old 07-07-2014, 01:21 PM   #5
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It's always nice to have support but here's the thing, we really shouldn't be so reliant on what others think and that's whether it's positive or negative. It ultimately comes down to us and it's sometimes too big a risk to allow the influence. Sure, sometimes we NEED it. It's not a stagnant thing. But you can never be sure what someone is going to say. Mothers especially, as you say, can push buttons. So for those times when they get pushed, we have to remain resolved. Surgery or no surgery, you are going to need it. Right now, I have some to spare. I only wish I could share it when others need it.
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Old 07-08-2014, 12:18 PM   #6
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You are totally right Mad. I was going to do it regardless. But let's just say she surprised me. I actually expected her to be negative and I was ready to cut off the conversation. I've got pretty strong boundaries with her. But on the other hand she is sick and relies on me for help, so I felt that she had a right to know, because it was going to change my availability. She just very much surprised me with her response. It was fairly positive for her.
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Old 07-11-2014, 05:42 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Birdie01 View Post
Great news Seana, hope your mom continues to be supportive even after the surgery! :-)
Yeah exactly... May god bless you and your family..
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Old 07-11-2014, 08:30 AM   #8
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When I was in the hospital for a different kind of surgery, my roommate had had WLS. She told NO ONE. Her family didn't learn about it until she called her brother to ask him to come to pick her up and drive her home. I think in some ways it would be good to hear other's opinions, but at the same time, the decision is your and you don't need negative feedback, you need support.

I hope this works out well for you.
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