3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Weight Loss Surgery

Weight Loss Surgery If you've had it, or are considering it, share your discussions here

Perceptions of weight

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 06-12-2013, 12:44 PM   #1
No more Buddha belly!
 
BerkshireGrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Western Massachusetts
Posts: 948

S/C/G: 275/see sig/140

Height: 5'8"

Default Perceptions of weight

I was discussing my potential WLS with a good friend. She blurted out "But weight loss surgery is only for OBESE people!"

When I told her I was about 100 pounds over my ideal weight, she was flabbergasted

Then later, trying to be helpful, "Can't you lose weight if you just eat less and exercise more?" Then she offered to go walking with me every day

She's a very good friend, but I was really surprised she must just see me as overweight. Has this happened to you? Maybe Friendship Glasses are like Beer Googles
__________________
3/29/15: Medifasting away...

What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? ~Mary Oliver
BerkshireGrl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2013, 01:22 PM   #2
Haven't quit yet!
 
Radiojane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,238

S/C/G: 485/372.4/200

Height: 6'0

Default

It is so hard to get a read on people's weights. I'm REALLY bad at it because I am and have been around super morbidly obese people. I've had friends look at me like I'm a liar when I say I've lost 100 pounds, because they really didn't figure I was carrying more than that, when in reality, I was close to 300 pounds overweight to begin with.
__________________
I have come way too far to quit now!


2014 Reboot!
Radiojane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2013, 02:14 PM   #3
Senior Member
 
kaplods's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Wausau, WI
Posts: 13,317

S/C/G: SW:394/310/180

Height: 5'6"

Default

When I was working, a thin coworker and I were talking about clothing, and I complained how hard it was to find affordable and attractive professional clothing, " when you're fat."

"You're not fat!" She exclaimed, and I started laughing so hard I nearly peed my pants (thinking "on what planet is 390 lbs not fat."

She turned bright red and snapped, "You know what I meant."

And I did. Fat is so taboo, we're supposed to pretend we don't see it, and sometimes we get so good at pretending that the polite lie becomes the reality and we don't see it.

Fat is something so terrible, grotesque and evil that people we love or even like a little CAN'T be something so vile and evil, so they must be something else.

I think people do have "friendship glasses" and even "respect" glasses. We're unable to see anyone who doesn't fit the fat, lazy stereotype as fat.

I think it even works in the mirror sometimes. When I looked in the mirror, I never felt as fat as when I saw myself in photos. In the mirror, I was just me, but photos were just objective enough that I saw the fat woman before I saw the me in that fat woman.

I also think we're taught to lie and be evasive about our weight to such a degree that most people have absolutely no idea what 100 lbs or even 20 or 200 lbs of extra weight look like.

I have been open about my weight for many years, and I can't tell you how many people, even even virtual strangers (such as in weight loss clubs, I don't make a habit of telling random strangers my weight) would say "you can't possibly weigh that much."

I used to think this meant I carried my weight very well, but I realized that was wishful thinking and the truth was that very few people have an accurate perception of weight (maybe that's why it used to be a carnival profession).
__________________
My Etsy shop (currently closed for the summer)

http://www.dreamstormdesigns.etsy.com
etsy link by permission from 3fc! Want to add yours? Ask them!
kaplods is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2013, 12:32 PM   #4
No more Buddha belly!
 
BerkshireGrl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Western Massachusetts
Posts: 948

S/C/G: 275/see sig/140

Height: 5'8"

Default

Radiojane, I remember reading about some county in Canada, I think a woman on here was describing it as where she is from... and so many of the people are obese, they think the thin are unhealthy and will make disparaging remarks about them. Your post just reminded me how much our environment can affect our perceptions of normal

kaplods, I know, isn't it weird how calling yourself FAT makes people freak out? "Oh no, you're not! You're just a little chubby!" I had another guy who was a competitive weightlifter argue with me that I couldn't weigh 250 pounds, and after we came to a draw, he proposed that I must have really dense slow-twitch muscle fibers. Urm, ok My size 22 top would say otherwise. I agree, photos are such a truth-teller! And yes, admitting our weights, I think especially as women, is a big deal. It's way stronger than that old-fashioned "A true lady never reveals her age."

19Deltawifey, I'm surprised too that I am very close to qualifying. Most days, I don't feel terrible doing day-to-day activities, but then, I'm not doing challenging things, like even going for a half hour walk. So my perception of myself as overall pretty good is not accurate! But how has your perception of yourself changed after your surgery?
__________________
3/29/15: Medifasting away...

What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? ~Mary Oliver
BerkshireGrl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2013, 01:19 PM   #5
Haven't quit yet!
 
Radiojane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,238

S/C/G: 485/372.4/200

Height: 6'0

Default

Yes, I remember the post, she was from the Maritimes. I actually heard a report saying that the province I live in has an extreme obesity rate. I doubt very many of us has a handle on "healthy" weight.
__________________
I have come way too far to quit now!


2014 Reboot!
Radiojane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2013, 02:50 PM   #6
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 131

S/C/G: 348/185/170

Height: 5.10/177cm

Default

Lately I strugle to see my self thin or thiner. I just bought a size six top..at the moment my other tops are size 8..this should tell me I am not fat anymore..but it doesnt. I see myself as large as before or rather I havent seen myself large before...so this weight perception is really not working for me LOL. And lately I notice so much more fat people then before..and I really doubt there are more people being fat then a year ago. It is really strange how mind can play tricks with our eyes.
__________________


Start: 348 lb February 2012
Weight on the OP day: 315 lb. 17th September 2012
Sleepy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2013, 04:32 PM   #7
Member
 
SnowAngel72's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Upper Michigan
Posts: 86

S/C/G: 309/194/145

Default

My kids, especially my two teenagers tell me all the time I am not fat or that I am fine and its not about appearances its about personality and what kind of person you are, if I say anything negative about my weight. I thought I must carry it well but I have seen myself in the mirror and know better. Although I have to admit I am kind of proud of them for thinking that way. I did something right.
__________________
SnowAngel72 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2013, 06:28 PM   #8
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 2

S/C/G: 258/234/160

Height: 5'2

Default Weight perception

In Sept. 2012 I started working out with my 2 best friends. One of them being my "trainer" and the other being my workout partner. Well before we could really start my "trainer" made me and my partner tell him our weight. -_- It was so embarrassing to have to tell him and his "assistant" what I weighed. I told them I weighed 245/250 and both of their jaws dropped. They were both like "you can't weigh that much!" And I asked them what they thought I weighed and they both said "190" I felt so much joy at that moment it wasn't even funny. But when I got home all I could feel was depression. I mean I don't see how I weigh 248 until I see a picture of myself. Needless to say, I hate getting pictures taken. :/
RavenTyler5895 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-16-2013, 09:00 AM   #9
Old Cackler
 
jiffypop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: northern New Jersey
Posts: 7,649

Default

this is a really interesting thread. The only thing i can say is that i have NO real perception of my size, at ANY weight. I just don't. and it gets weird at times - taking clothes that are two sizes too big into the dressing room and thinking that they fit. but then realize that they're falling off of me when i get them home.

I guess i just ALWAYS think of myself as being much larger than i really am. I have to look in the mirror very very carefully - at my collar bones, especially - to get even a clue, but even then it doesn't apply to the rest of my body.

As for other people, those closest to me tell me that i look great, but that's because they know what i DID look like. People who meet me for the first time see me as being very overweight [i'm sure some would use the O word, too]. So i can't even get a clue from other people!!!! <Sigh>
__________________
Start your day with a smile, and get it over with.
Keeping it off is a hundred decisions a day that help you maintain what you achieved. And that's the hard part. - L Sanders

start: 506 [Sept 2001]
weight at gastric bypass [Jan 29, 2002]: 409
current weight: 225
weight for plastic surgery: 200
final goal: 180

Posts by members, moderators and admins are not medical advice. See your physician before taking advice found on the internet.
jiffypop is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Emotional Impact of Weight Loss GemIAm Ideal Protein Diet 74 02-03-2013 07:13 PM
Have your perceptions of the general population changed? KittyKatFan Weight Loss Support 18 10-21-2012 06:54 PM
Visualization at the bottom of weight loss ? Hermit Girl 40-Somethings 20 10-30-2008 04:03 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:31 PM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2