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Excess skin and getting married

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Old 09-30-2012, 03:25 AM   #1
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Default Excess skin and getting married

I had lap band surgery about 2 years ago, I am now at 168, I lost about 130 lbs (my goal~ )

I am getting married in 3 months to a really amazing sensitive guy whom I love very much

Because of religious beliefs, we are restricted from any sort of physical interaction until we are married (that means no sex, kissing, hugging, hand holding, even high fiving is out of the question) yes yes we screwed up like 2 or three times and made out a little bit but he hasn't seen me without my clothes and I am terrified for the day that he will.

My problem is all my excess skin. I'm so embarrassed by it and embarrassed for him to see it on our wedding night. My arms, thighs and breasts are not so great, but my tummy is the worst. We talked about abdominoplasty and he said he will support me and love me no matter if I choose to go through with the surgery or not. Now I found out the surgery aside from not being covered by insurance, takes about a month(?!) recovery time altogether.

I'm in full time graduate school as well as doing full time fieldwork and I don't have time to take a MONTH off from everything. So I think surgery is out. I'm now on a mission to accept and love my body as it is.

Any tips? I feel so lonely. I want to buy lingerie for our wedding night but I feel like my tummy/skin will just roll out over whatever I get. I just want to like the way I am. I worked so hard to be physically healthy. I feel like I'm at such a loss.
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Old 09-30-2012, 03:33 AM   #2
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Lights off Jk.
I think he's going to love you no matter what. Is there a way you can give him a preview? Of atleast your stomach? Cause if thats the part you are most self conscious about, then maybe you should just so him now and get it over wit, so that on your wedding night, you wont be self conscious, and you'll feel comfortable and sexy, and enjoy eachother!
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Old 09-30-2012, 06:31 AM   #3
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OP, I will be in the same situation as you when my time comes. When I date, there will be no physical interaction. My reasons are also relgious. Okay, you both have held yourselves accountable before God. More than likely you prayed to God to send you the "perfect" mate.

God doesn't make mistakes!! This man has prayed for a wife and God sent you. Your faithfulness to God and the unity of marriage outshines loose skin. I won't lie, I am nervous about the whole thing too (when my time comes) but then I just keep saying that God is all omniscient. The God that loves you, loves you enough to send you a husband that will love you as God/Christ does. Ephesians 5:25 Ephesians 5:28-29 Ephesians 5:33 (Scripture if it applies to your faith)

As far as lingerie there is modest lingerie you can buy. You could buy a babydoll lingerie with a silk robe. Search on line at some of the plus size lingerie sites to get an idea.

Lastly, it sounds like you have had an indepth conversation with him about it (surgery options). If he said it doesn't bother him, I would take him at his word. And switch the scenario. Would you let someone that is strong in the same faith (God sent) go because of what they (not you) perceived as a flaw?? No! Does God have to send you a burning bush?
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Last edited by RoyalAthena : 09-30-2012 at 06:41 AM.
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Old 09-30-2012, 11:00 AM   #4
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hmmm. first of all congrats on your hard work and success with the lapband - and on finding the perfect man for you. As for what to do, I was going to say discuss your fears with him [and it sounds like you have], and otherwise, find some lovely lingerie that you LOVE and that makes YOU smile, turn the lights down [not necessarily off -or use candles], and relax.

but these ladies said this so much better than i could. Trust in your love for each other. Grad school + wedding + managing your weight + no insurance coverage + no time to recover = you have enough to worry about right now. Settle into your relationship, and THEN decide if you want to go through with the tummy tuck. but make your decision FOR YOU, and your reasons, not because you think your husband wants you to.
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Old 10-02-2012, 12:10 PM   #5
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First of all you've gotten some great suggestions. Check out some lingerie options that make you feel sexy - not all of it is for people with a perfect body.

Obviously you have to wait for a time that is right for you but I highly recommend the abdominoplasty! I had one last year and couldn't be happier. I had a LOT of excess skin from two pregnancies and the weight loss so I opted for a larger incision so my recovery was longer but I definitely wasn't out of commission for a month. I would say I was definitely out of the loop for a week until my drains came out and then I was able to do more and more but definitely no lifting for 4-6 weeks.

Good Luck
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Old 10-03-2012, 05:31 PM   #6
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Buy a corset or some Columbian body shapers. Buy the body shapers online, the ones at thestores are not that good. They will look sexy, hide your tummy and lift your breast. I use them all the time and my husband loves them!

Try to get use to them before hand so you are not so uncorfortable.

I have this one in black and you can hardly notice that is a body shaper

http://limacallao.olx.com.pe/fajas-c...-iid-160688598
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