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Ahh...the comments

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Old 12-11-2002, 11:58 AM   #1
Slowly going crazy!
 
Join Date: May 2000
Posts: 140

Default Ahh...the comments

So, I was talking to my mom last night about the arrangements for watching the kiddies while I am away.
I told her that dh and I told them mommy was having tummy surgery but it would be okay. We didn't say it was to help mommy lose weight, because they don't see mommy as fat.

My mom proceeded to tell me that "The only person that thinks mommy is Fat, is mommy"
What a crock! ! !

Let's go to the 'way back machine' and check out some past examples:
I was 12 years old and my parents put my on a liquid diet and made me bring the powder to all the parties I was invited to and made sure they called my friends parents to make sure I had my 'shake' instead of cake.
I was 16 and my mom would drag me screaming to the scale every night for a 'weigh-in'.
My parents would serve ice-cream (2 scoops) to the other kids in my family, but only 1/2 scoop to me, because "Amy is too chubby".
My grandma (when I was 11) came to me and patted my round tummy and said it looked like I was going to give birth to an elephant.
My dad told me no one would ever want to marry me because I was fat.

I could go on, but these are just some of the myriads of 'highlighted weight related activities' that went on in my house.
I've spoken to my parents about all of this years ago, they deny most of it, (my dad did apologize to my DH - not me - about the marriage one). My siblings on the other hand were there for most of this, I was teased by them as well. But, they all know that they have the fat-gene. My sister was anorexic, my brothers did drugs...they stayed thin til they got clean...then the fat gene appeared.

Soo....No mom, I am not the only person who thinks I am fat. It's been instilled in me for many many many years.
-----

Therapy session is over.
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Old 12-11-2002, 12:49 PM   #2
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Join Date: Feb 2002
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Default I believe you!

Just wanted to say that I believe you! Isn't it amazing how parents rewrite history to make themselves look better? My own mother is very good at denying some of the things she's said or done. I think sometimes she's so embarrassed at her atrocious behavior that she convinces herself she never said/did many of the cruel things she did.

I'm sorry you suffered that kind of humiliation and lack of support growing up. It sounds like you're still not getting parental support.

I really wish you the best of luck with the lapband surgery--you deserve your health and happiness. I hope you have an uneventful hospital stay.
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Old 12-11-2002, 05:16 PM   #3
Slowly going crazy!
 
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You know what's funny is that normally I've not turned to my parents for support because they always question everything, but when it comes to my kids I know they are more comfortable with my parents (their nana and papa) than anyone else.
I've learned to vent things and let them go. It's taken many years, but it's worked.
I held off surgery for a long time because I didn't want my parents to view me as a failure. Then I got smart and realized "how can I be failing when I am doing something to make myself healthier". So in one week we shall be on the other side of this thing.
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Old 12-11-2002, 10:32 PM   #4
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Default oh honey....

unfortunately, we'll all be surprised if the attitudes change after you're successful at this. and that'll make them jealous and angry.

thank goodness you have a great husband to support you. and US!!!!

don't even THINK you have to go through this alone.
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Keeping it off is a hundred decisions a day that help you maintain what you achieved. And that's the hard part. - L Sanders

start: 506 [Sept 2001]
weight at gastric bypass [Jan 29, 2002]: 409
current weight: 225
weight for plastic surgery: 200
final goal: 180

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Old 12-12-2002, 01:07 PM   #5
Slowly going crazy!
 
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Thanks Jiffy.
I'm so grateful for sites like this that I can post and vent my stories, etc. It's not an easy decision, but it makes it so much better when you know you are not alone. ((HUGS))
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