Lost my best friend~~now what?

MyGirlFriday · 12-03-2009, 08:54 PM

Since having WLS (actually starting the week prior to having surgery when my liquid diet started) I have lost my very best friend~FOOD!

I'm having a difficult time not having FOOD to help ease my pain. Yes I know that food actually doesn't do any of that but prior to WLS I sure felt like it did.

I need to find a support group to attend but so far I havn't found one here where I live. Surely I'm not the only one going thru this after WLS.

After the first of the year I plan on starting back to therapy.
But in the mean time I'm at a great loss. I don't want to mess up before I get off to a good start.

Anyone else go thru a depression after surgery? I really could use some guidence.

mgf~

worthylady · 12-03-2009, 11:42 PM

I didn't experience depression when I first started losing weight. However, the last few months I have bouts of depression. It mainly happens when I am dealing with lonliness and realize how much I used food to comfort myself. I even reminisce about enjoying food and how I felt after eating. I have incorporated more activities in my life. I found a healthy replacement for the food I crave during those difficult times.

I sought out counseling but I haven't located anyone yet. I always think counseling helps. Check with your Dr. to find out were the nearest support group is held. There should be one in your area. You can also check with Overeaters Anonymous. They use several of the concepts used in the 12 step program to help with the addiction to food.
By all means use this site to vent, ask questions and cry out for help! We are all here to help and listen (read)! Take care.

2muchbackend · 12-04-2009, 02:16 AM

Can you get a therapist now? I think you need to get help as soon as possible. I lost my father last month haven't had surgery but it's been very hard on me but I'm getting treatment for depression.
Sorry for your loss.

missangelaks · 12-04-2009, 02:36 AM

Hi honey

I totally get you on this!!

There were great reasons as to why I was over weight. I had some serious childhood trauma that food helped me through. I learned early on that food DID comfort me. Besides, my family used food and it's socially accepted to use food...parties, functions, even thanksgiving all revolve around food.

I did do 12 programs and many years of counseling and found my way through a complicated maze that lead me to why I over eat...counseling with a good person is essential to learning to let go of overeating and create a strategy for coping with life and it's many stresses without excess food.

It can be done!

One thing I found is important to getting though the "craving" stage of emotional eating is having a list of non-food related activities to do when they hit. Mine were: go for a walk, call a friend, get on the internet, pull out my drawing kit, write a poem, get out an instrument and play, type in my journal (a really good one...helped me to identify and let go of the real reasons behind the craving)

Make a list of your own...learn to paint, learn to crochet! Invest in a DVR (a treasure to not have to watch all the FOOD commercials!!

I hope you're having a much better day! And remember the glass of water is what it is, it's only our own perception that tells us whether or not it's half empty or half full...it's a Choice!!!

Angela

jiffypop · 12-04-2009, 09:08 AM

oh dear. MGF - we've ALL gone through this - and some days it's easier than others.

unfortunately, my answer will be pretty long, and i don't have time to post all my thoughts for you [am at work with deadlines looming!]. i will answer you more over the weekend. BUT, the ladies above have some great ideas -

i knit. angela crochets. and i always wonder why it's so hard to transfer that 'eating drive' into an 'exercise drive.' but chin up! help is here!

annie175 · 12-04-2009, 12:46 PM

My therapy for not eating is cleaning. I can clean anything and everything.

KO · 12-04-2009, 04:35 PM

You can not knit and handle food simultaneously!

btw Jiff My Amour Do yarn stores have after Christmas sales?

nanj · 12-04-2009, 11:29 PM

When I lost my best friend, I started having a problem with spending more than I should. So....get some therapy and a support group. Don't go the transfer addiction route!!!! You have to find a best new friend. Strangely, mine is remaking favorite recipes into something that isn't carby, high in protein and good for us. LOL!!!! I'm still working on mac and cheese...and unless I can switch out the pasta for styra-foam peanuts, I doubt that we will be having it more than once a year. I made banana nut bread with a sugar alcohol for my DH to sample and he thinks that I tried to kill him! LOL! I sew, knit, read and walk. I've just started a new pilates program. Depression....not so much in the beginning, but have had to "deal" with lowered expectation after the weightloss, because I'm not superhuman, I can't jump over tall buildings, and I'm beat up and old. Don't get me wrong, I love being thinner and able to do things, but there are some things that I can't do and won't be able to do physically, just in my head only. That has been a disappointment for me, well for about 10 seconds, before I'm off and on to something bigger and better. The winter weather really affects me and I have a tendency to spend more time in the house and unfortunately that is where food is. It calls to me and unless I have a plan to do something besides eat, I could really be in trouble. So find something to keep you busy!

jiffypop · 12-05-2009, 07:26 PM

PSSST!!!! Nan!!! Barilla makes a high-protein low carb pasta that is actually QUITE GOOD [and this is from a cranky italian girl!]. it comes in a yellow box [it's NOT the whole wheat pasta]. it's a little hard to find it in anything other than capellini or thin linguini or spaghetti, but i think they make penne and shells as well.

My favorite end-of-12-hour-day meal - small handful of high protein pasta mixed with some leftover veggies and some chickpeas. way too simple to even call it a recipe!

sorry, MGF - will get back to you.

worthylady · 12-09-2009, 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nanj

When I lost my best friend, I started having a problem with spending more than I should. So....get some therapy and a support group. Don't go the transfer addiction route!!!! You have to find a best new friend. Strangely, mine is remaking favorite recipes into something that isn't carby, high in protein and good for us. LOL!!!! I'm still working on mac and cheese...and unless I can switch out the pasta for styra-foam peanuts, I doubt that we will be having it more than once a year. I made banana nut bread with a sugar alcohol for my DH to sample and he thinks that I tried to kill him! LOL! I sew, knit, read and walk. I've just started a new pilates program. Depression....not so much in the beginning, but have had to "deal" with lowered expectation after the weightloss, because I'm not superhuman, I can't jump over tall buildings, and I'm beat up and old. Don't get me wrong, I love being thinner and able to do things, but there are some things that I can't do and won't be able to do physically, just in my head only. That has been a disappointment for me, well for about 10 seconds, before I'm off and on to something bigger and better. The winter weather really affects me and I have a tendency to spend more time in the house and unfortunately that is where food is. It calls to me and unless I have a plan to do something besides eat, I could really be in trouble. So find something to keep you busy!

Interesting that you mentioned spending. I have almost maxed out credit cards lately because I enjoy retail therapy way to much. I am so glad that you mentioned that so I can try to get a handle on it before I end up in serious debt.

worthylady · 12-09-2009, 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nanj

When I lost my best friend, I started having a problem with spending more than I should. So....get some therapy and a support group. Don't go the transfer addiction route!!!! You have to find a best new friend. Strangely, mine is remaking favorite recipes into something that isn't carby, high in protein and good for us. LOL!!!! I'm still working on mac and cheese...and unless I can switch out the pasta for styra-foam peanuts, I doubt that we will be having it more than once a year. I made banana nut bread with a sugar alcohol for my DH to sample and he thinks that I tried to kill him! LOL! I sew, knit, read and walk. I've just started a new pilates program. Depression....not so much in the beginning, but have had to "deal" with lowered expectation after the weightloss, because I'm not superhuman, I can't jump over tall buildings, and I'm beat up and old. Don't get me wrong, I love being thinner and able to do things, but there are some things that I can't do and won't be able to do physically, just in my head only. That has been a disappointment for me, well for about 10 seconds, before I'm off and on to something bigger and better. The winter weather really affects me and I have a tendency to spend more time in the house and unfortunately that is where food is. It calls to me and unless I have a plan to do something besides eat, I could really be in trouble. So find something to keep you busy!

Interesting that you mentioned spending. I have almost maxed out credit cards lately because I enjoy retail therapy way to much. I am so glad that you mentioned that so I can try to get a handle on it before I end up in serious debt.

nomena · 01-01-2010, 05:07 PM

I am also depressed without food. I had a lap-band and for the first month i lost around 15 ponuds, or so. And now, 4 months after the lap-band I gaind back almost all. I think my doctor will kill me but I am more depressed bacuse I am coming back to weight, not going away from it...I did not find the way to deal with it yet