Oh honey!!!! I get that! I was house bound for 2 years and only found the strength to go get food and then run back, hide in my house and eat it. I tell you, it was a conscious decision (one you sound like you have made too) to get the heck out, take my life back and live it! I remember standing at my front door, nervous and shaking, heading out for my first WW meeting...telling myself that it will be ok and "there's a whole entire world out there and I'm going to live in it!!" The ww didn't take and it took me many years to actually have surgery but I count THAT as the day I began to live!
I look at the weighloss I've had as a metephore for shedding the fear I carried...with each fat cell that depleted it's store, I pictured the strength and power being squeezed out.
I go out now and LIVE...Love my family and many, many friends (most of which I made in the last year) and I Dance! I have met sooooo many people and a wonderful man in doing so. I have a smile on my face not only because of the weight loss and smaller sized clothes but because I set out to live in the world, with all it's good and bad (ok sometimes down right awful) and have taken it by storm...taking back my power, my life and holding onto it with both hands!
Angela