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Weight Loss surgery is approved - I have mixed feelings.

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Old 05-11-2009, 05:22 AM   #1
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Default Weight Loss surgery is approved - I have mixed feelings.

Hello all

10 days ago I was called in by the government hospital for a meeting with the doctors and surgeons. They looked at my medical record and said I my petition for the free surgery is approved. The reason for this is that I am 120 kg at the moment (265 lbs) and my insuline resistance in addition to the fact that my grandpa had insuline-depedent diabetes call for it. I am finishing all the examinations by the 22nd May and I will have my operation scheduled. By the way, I am doing the gastric sleeve operation, not the gastric bypass.

Anyways I have mixed feelings about this. A part of me is really happy because I need to lose weight, I want to be slim and wear cute outfits, I want to buy a dress that flatters me. But on other hand I have this feeling of resentment. I feel like crying because I am scared people will look at me and comment about this, thinking I am a failure. I sometimes growl to the fact that my parents and my best friend are so happy about this operation. Was I that ugly?

And above all I am scared that something might go wrong and I will die (even though this is a rare occasion). I am only 24 years old (the youngest person in the hospital to be approved, so far, by the surgeons) I don't know, there are days that I don't know how to react.

Is it normal to have this feelings? Did you have this? I feel I am abnormal. I feel I should feel happy and not so mixed up.
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Old 05-11-2009, 07:22 AM   #2
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For starters, I'm only 26 (and started my WLS journey when I was 25), so I know what you mean about feeling like a failure. Being so young, I felt like I should just keep trying to lose weight without surgery.

But if you read the stories of WLS patients, the number one regret I read over and over again is that they didn't do it sooner!

And if you're already insuiln resistant, do something about it while you can. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes (which is essentially extreme insulin resistance) when I was 25. That's what pushed me to look into WLS.

As for the sleeve, I think it's a fabulous option, and you're lucky that, whereever you are, they cover it. Here in the US, it is difficult to get insurance to cover the sleeve because it is still considered "investigational" or "experimental."

I have the sleeve as the first part of my surgery (the duodenal switch). If I had been looking into surgery without a diabetes diagnosis, I probably would have gone for the sleeve.

You do what you have to do for yourself. Don't worry about what others think. And besides, no one will be able to tell you've had it done just by looking at you. Do this for yourself, your health, and your future. It is NOT a character flaw to seek help with weight loss.
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Old 05-12-2009, 10:16 AM   #3
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Oh no. These emotions are very normal. This is your life. You are precious. If anything your family is concerned and wants’ YOU to be happy AND healthy. They don't think you’re ugly. Those are negative thoughts from the devil. You might need to lay out all the pros and cons of this decision... get as many facts as you can and get the best doctor. You are valuable and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Pray about what God wants you to do. This is your life and you cannot base it on what other people want. What do you want? If you don’t know, if you’re confused … again pray for reassurance. God will always guide you in the right path. Best wishes.
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Old 05-12-2009, 01:16 PM   #4
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Hey PLS: I was just where you were at 19 mos. ago. It is a time that I thought maybe I hadn't done enough, did I want to alter my body, did I want to take a chance on such a risky surgery, how could I give up my best friend FOOD? All of these this and many more went through my mind.

I was also very tired of being helpless, overweight, immobile, sick, miserable and not joining in with my family and friends. I didn't have any quality of life left for me and had damaged my body with over 30 years of obesity. I was 56 y/o when I had my WLS and the thing that I wish different about my WLS was.... that I had it done at 24 y/o. The last 19 months have been the best of my life in the last 30 years. I think that is very sad, because I have missed so much, but oh so happy to be ALIVE.

I can't really give you a definite assurance about the WLS, but I can tell you that for me it was so worth the risk, and I'm ALIVE both emotionally and physically.

Start concentrating about what food-for-life plan you will be doing after the WLS, the things that you will be able to do that you can't do now, reading everything you can to insure that you will be having a good WLS life. Get some counseling about your food addiction so you can be prepared for your "head-hunger" after surgery. Concentrate on what you and your family will be able to do.

As for being a failure.....well, I guess anyone who has had WLS is a failure in their ability to overcome their food addiction, but on the other hand now you are taking your obesity on and doing something that you know can end that cycle. As for being ugly.....I didn't find my self very attractive at well over 300 pounds, but my family loved me too death. Now they love me thinner. So your family will be for you no matter what you look like.

Good luck to you my dear!
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Old 05-12-2009, 01:35 PM   #5
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Anyone who would call you a failure for having WLS is an idiot who doesn't deserve you worrying what he/she thinks! *You* should feel sorry for *them* for being such a person.
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Old 05-12-2009, 06:50 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jillybean720 View Post
You do what you have to do for yourself. Don't worry about what others think. And besides, no one will be able to tell you've had it done just by looking at you. Do this for yourself, your health, and your future. It is NOT a character flaw to seek help with weight loss.

What Jilly said.
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Old 05-25-2009, 11:59 AM   #7
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First of all dear ladies, thank you for the encouragement. It made me feel A LOT better! I am still a bit scared but I think I can go through this. Anyways the sugery date came out. 12 August! I am both delighted and a bit sad because I was planning to go on a trip on the 13th (after 2 years of no holidays), but I guess the operation should be my top priority.

My best friend told me, yesterday, that when I get to size 14 she will lend me her clothes so I won´t have to buy lots of clothes. It seems surreal as I never had a friend that could lend me her clothes. Anyways, once again many thanks and I hope you ladies are doing great!
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Old 06-15-2009, 07:17 AM   #8
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There are a number of surgical options available to treat obesity, each with its advantages and pitfalls. In general, bariatric surgery is successful in producing often substantial weight loss, though one must consider operative risk including mortality and side effects before making the decision to pursue this treatment option.
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Old 06-15-2009, 01:15 PM   #9
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Dear Ms Preety!
I haven't had WLS, but I have looked into this option and been recommended for it by my family physician.
All I can tell you, from a non WLS dieter's perspective is this:
1. WLS is a TOOL, not a cure. And as such, you will still have alot of work ahead of you. So don't think of yourself as a failure. You need to think of yourself as a SUCCESS because you have found a path for you that you are determined to make work. And you deserve all the pats on the back for that. Because THAT makes you a success.
2. It is normal to be scared of an operation. You need to know that your doctors and anesthesiologists and nurses have alll considered the risks and have cleared you for surgery. IF you had significant risk factors, the staff wouldn't have cleared you. You WILL be fine. You WILL come through this. And you will still be anxious, but this is NORMAL. If you weren't anxious, I'D be concerned!!!
3. The fact that you chose WLS is your business, and I suspect that people won't judge you as harshly as you judge yourself! Please don't fall into the trap of projecting what you think of yourself onto others! I'll bet those around you are THRILLED that you have found a path to new health and to happiness. I'll bet they aren't thinking ANY of the negative thoughts that you are thinking about yourself. If they love you, and it sounds like they do, they will be nothing but happy and supportive.

Congratulations and keep posting. The people on this forum are really supportive and WILL tell you the truth!



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Old 06-19-2009, 08:12 PM   #10
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Thank you Kira!!! that's about the nicest thing anyone's ever said about this forum - that we WILL tell the truth!!!
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