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You know you had Weight Loss Surgery when.......

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Old 02-19-2009, 09:11 AM   #1
quilting lady's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: West Michigan
Posts: 91

Talking You know you had Weight Loss Surgery when.......

*"I have a date" does not mean you're going out.
*You have baby food in the house and no baby.
* "I'm a loser" is a good thing.
* All of your silverware says Gerber.
* A wooden spoon isn't just for cooking.
*"Welcome to the other side" doesn't include death.
* New clothes fall off in a week.
* You get excited about hand me downs.
* The scale at Wal-Mart no longer says "one at a time please".
* Going bald and getting wrinkles is a good thing.
* "Jus****er for me please".
* Hitting the "Century Mark" is actually a good thing.
* You can be touched by an angel and still not be considered crazy.
* When your rear end no longer looks like a mudslide.
* When you get excited that your incision was "only 4 inches".
* When the word lap has nothing to do with a strip club.
* Other women are calling you names behind your back.
* When you are glared at in the plus size department because you don't
"belong there".
* When you really don't have a thing to wear.
* You have to prove you are the person on the drivers license.
* You start being in the pictures not behind the camera.
* You want to hug everyone fat and hand them your surgeon's card.
* You are never parted from a bottle of water.
* When you order a doggy bag at the same time as your meal.
* Being too small for your britches.
* When the only way your nipples are where they belong is to roll them up,
position them with your bra and secure with a ponytail holder.
* When you go pick up your child at school and all the other kids say
WOW you're mom is hot.
* When you go to the mall and take the first available space instead of
circling 20 minutes for one closer to the door.
* You truly are a "cheap date".
* When one drink makes you flipping floozy!
* When you run to the door and don't hear a flapping sound.
* You flip your shirt to show complete strangers your scar.
* Vitamins feel like a meal.
* You go from a 56DDDD to 32AAA in a year and didn't have a breast
* You've just lost 100 lbs and run into a high school friend who asks "did
you change your hair?"
* You can cross your legs... both of them.
* Instead of a Wonder Bra you need a Wonder Where They Went Bra.
* When your obsession from food turns to your scale.
* They no longer call 911 for the Jaws of life to extricate you from a
* No more velcro shoes.
* Tongs are no longer to fry chicken.
* "Checking for leaks" no longer includes your panties.
* When your stairmaster is no longer used for drying your fine washables. *
Your mother says "You don't eat enough".
* When your doctor looks you in the eye and says "I know you will have
success with this."
* Having sex your husband complains that your hip bones are poking him. *
You can wear corduroy pants without igniting a fire.
* When you wave and your upper arms wave back.
* You safety pin your underwear.
* Someone phones and thinks your husband is sneaking around with some skinny
* Cannot blame the cat for shedding.
* Cancel your Lane Bryant Credit Card.
* 3 Lean Cuisines a week and that's your total grocery purchase.
* The kids wonder what happened to the cake and cookie god..did he die???

WLS 3/25/08
Reached Goal Wt 11/28/08

You have to have a dream to have a dream come true!
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Old 02-19-2009, 12:03 PM   #2
Pertnear Domestic Goddess
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Location: BIG "D"
Posts: 238

S/C/G: 250/133/125 RNY5/11/09

Height: 5'3


Sounds good to me ! Thanks for the Laugh

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Old 02-19-2009, 12:36 PM   #3
not bad for a 47 yr Nana!
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,166


ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!! Oh honey you're right on the money!

The glass of water is what it is,
it's only our own perception that tells us
whether or not it's half empty or half full...
it's a Choice!!!
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Old 02-19-2009, 05:59 PM   #4
In Pursuit of Divatude!
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Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: NJ
Posts: 4,670


That's awesome!
Making a commitment to myself
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Old 02-19-2009, 06:30 PM   #5
I got my DS done 4-26-10
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Boise Idaho
Posts: 159

S/C/G: 463.1/273/170

Height: 5' 5 1/2


the hair loss and boobs dont sound so thrilling, I would be happy just to get up and not have to stand for 30 seconds before taking a step to make sure my knees will hold me.

My Twitter http://twitter.com/trinaxxl/ I tweet a lot
My DS Journey (WLS Blog)

8-09 : 463Lbs Surgery postponed due to 13 pound weight gain
4-26-2010 Surgery date : 412Lbs
4-26-11: 273 1 year anniversary!!!
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Old 03-04-2009, 10:52 AM   #6
Annie - Indiana
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Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 4,676

S/C/G: 303/143/165

Height: 5'9"


You yell "evacuate" before you pass gas!
You take a Gas-x pill before a date so you won't pass gas.

Lap RNY 2/12/07- weightloss: 163 lbs; 306 SW; 143 CW
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Old 03-04-2009, 05:32 PM   #7
Senior Member
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Posts: 119

S/C/G: 202/188/180

Height: 6 Feet


That was too funny~!!!! I am laughing so hard.. Thanks for that... I needed to hear those jokes...

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Old 03-04-2009, 08:51 PM   #8
Senior Member
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 104

S/C/G: (324/238/175) New 310/310/200

Height: 5'5"

Default Awesome!

I didn't think it would be so long! but I'm kind of new at the loser thing.

It's something only we wold understand!

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Old 03-06-2009, 04:04 PM   #9
Sports Goddess
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Manhattan, NYC, USA
Posts: 130

S/C/G: 265/120.2

Height: 5'4"


Duodenal Switch/Lap -- Drs. Alfons Pomp & Michel Gagner -- New York City
4/11/05: (date of surgery)
7/27/08: Gallbladder Removed

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Old 03-06-2009, 07:21 PM   #10
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Posts: 295

S/C/G: 245/ticker/150

Height: 5' 11"


I don't get the wooden spoon thing!!

Help me out ladies??
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Old 07-07-2009, 09:17 PM   #11
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 35

S/C/G: 352/263.2/170

Height: 69"


Originally Posted by Findmyself View Post
I don't get the wooden spoon thing!!

Help me out ladies??
I don't either, lol.

Hahaha, Layne Bryant.

lol at the reunion thing. People that haven't seen me in a while (the rude ones) ask if I've gained weight. I tell them I've lost 84 pounds and laugh and walk away as they look bewildered.

I can fully appreciate the doggie bag and one drink thing, lol.

Since December 30, 2008
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Old 07-08-2009, 02:30 PM   #12
Sweet girl in L.A.
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Posts: 111

S/C/G: 242/212/180

Height: 5'2"


love it!

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