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How do I talk to my family about WLS?

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Old 01-06-2009, 08:21 PM   #1
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Default How do I talk to my family about WLS?

So, basically I have been trying for the past 6 months or so to try to lose weight. I have tried Nutrisystem, couldnt stand the food. I tried South Beach...I felt sick from the lack of carbs and I was VERY moody. Now, I'm just cutting out red meat, upping the veggies and fruits and only eating starch with 2 meals. I'm really fed up because I haven't lost that much weight. I know that weight loss is a lifelong process and requires life changes but I feel like I need some type of "vehicle" so I can steer myself in the right direction. I also exercise for 30 minutes a day a few times a week...basically what it comes down to is I want to explain to my family that dieting hasn't really been working and I want to talk to a doctor about weight loss surgery. Does anyone have any tips or anything I can try to talk to them so they will take me seriously?
Thanks,
Erica
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Old 01-06-2009, 10:38 PM   #2
I got my DS done 4-26-10
 
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Originally Posted by EricaBG View Post
So, basically I have been trying for the past 6 months or so to try to lose weight. I have tried Nutrisystem, couldnt stand the food. I tried South Beach...I felt sick from the lack of carbs and I was VERY moody. Now, I'm just cutting out red meat, upping the veggies and fruits and only eating starch with 2 meals. I'm really fed up because I haven't lost that much weight. I know that weight loss is a lifelong process and requires life changes but I feel like I need some type of "vehicle" so I can steer myself in the right direction. I also exercise for 30 minutes a day a few times a week...basically what it comes down to is I want to explain to my family that dieting hasn't really been working and I want to talk to a doctor about weight loss surgery. Does anyone have any tips or anything I can try to talk to them so they will take me seriously?
Thanks,
Erica
I dont say this to be mean but I think if you want them to take you seriously you need to take yourself seriously, spend another 6 months working your tush off, move your exercise up to 3 to 4 times a week 40 mins a time min, try calorie counting, plain old calorie counting is the only thing that has worked for me and short of surgery it is about the only thing that will work long term.
Talk to them honestly about what you are doing to lose weight, ask for their understanding and support and if in 6 months you see no improvement get all the facts you can on WLS and decide what you want to do and talk to them as seriously and as informed as possible and in the long run remember weight lose surgery is not a cure all, it is a tool that lets you WORK towards what you want. I know plenty of people who have not been able to keep the weight off cause they did not follow the strict and sometimes difficult regiment after surgery. Prove to yourself you can do it NOW and maybe your family will see your determination and offer you the support you need.
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Old 01-06-2009, 10:42 PM   #3
I got my DS done 4-26-10
 
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P.S. I am doing the same thing i suggested for you, I am increasing my work outs, I am trying to diet knowing that after surgery I wont have a choice. My dr wants me doing 40 mins 5 times a week of pool workout before surgery and eventually 60 mins 5 to 6 days a week minimum after as well as for me to realize that if I can't maintain a diet now I may not be able to afterwards.
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Old 01-07-2009, 12:42 AM   #4
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Well, darlin'...my decision to have surgery was not met with a ton of family support! I love my family and they have been my greatest cheerleaders since I had surgery but at first they were all against me doing this. They were worried and understandably. They loved me for who I was and though they didn't know much about surgery, they thought that the risks were higher if I had went ahead with it rather then staying overweight.

I researched online and talked to people around here that have had the WLS I wanted and was armed to the teeth with information...about what would happen to me if I stayed 326lbs...what would happen if I had surgery and what the possible complications were AND what the benefits would be if I could make it work. I tell you, that is the key...KNOWLEDGE! Educate yourself...learn all you can.

Now, knowing it is a "vehicle", a tool to start the downward spiral I was in to start to move upwards, is 90% of all the wisdom I have to impart to you! It is not the "eat what you want and still lose weight" that some people believe.

So to try and answer your question...research, read, get every tid bit of info you can find...if you can answer your family's questions with confidence, they will take you seriously.

I agree with spooky...do the six months of diet and exercise BUT do it WITH YOUR REGULAR DOCTOR!! AND have them document EVERYTHING... Tell them you are thinking of having surgery and you need them to follow your insurance's or your Surgeon's guide lines. 6 months will show you that either you can do it on your own or, if not, it will save you a ton of time...most insurance's require a 6 month dr. supervised diet.

Good luck to you as you move closer to finding your path.

Angela
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Last edited by missangelaks : 01-07-2009 at 12:53 AM.
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Old 01-07-2009, 01:53 PM   #5
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My two cents: delay the family conversation until you've talked it over with your doc. the FAM will have all kinds of Qs and arguments and whys and why nots and so on, but the doc will be able to tell you what's involved with the surgery in your area, and to suggest some docs or resources.

sooo, like angela said, do your homework. And that 6 month diet thing - it's ESSENTIAL that your doc be involved with this for insurance purposes. your history to date may be enough to get your insurance company to agree to let you have the surgery, but insurers are getting tighter with the requirements.

good luck! keep us posted!
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Old 01-07-2009, 08:18 PM   #6
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My doctor was the one who brought it up to me and then I didn't tell my family for about 9 mos. I didn't want to think about it. When I finally did (and began researching and attending groups/meetings with prospective surgeons) it went well. They knew the drugs I'd been taking were no longer doing the trick as I'd gained more & more weight and realized I was an adult who had to make her own decision. They were anxious, as was I. I didn't really want it.

Since you do want it, that's a bonus. You can see a doctor, arm yourself with info. before you do so you know about the 4 major types of WLS and discuss each with him/her. You can then similarly discuss it with your family. I think if they realize how serious you are it will help in your presentation.

Best of luck.
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Old 01-08-2009, 12:03 AM   #7
I got my DS done 4-26-10
 
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another thing is most drs or groups will provide seminars, you might concider talking to one member of your family and ask them to attend with you.
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Old 01-08-2009, 10:40 PM   #8
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I agree with everyone. I did a lot of research and attending different seminars before telling my family. When I shared information with my family I thought I knew which surgery I wanted, but I didn't. I ended up telling them after I felt clear about my decision, had approval from the insurance company and had selected a surgeon. Good Luck
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