How did this happen to me?

  • That is all I keep saying to myself. I think that I have gotten so depressed about my weight it makes me eat more!

    My husband is alwasy telling me that I focus too much on it and that is why I can't loose the weight but this is coming from a 6'5" SKINNY person know what I mean?

    When he met me I was 119 pounds a size 4/6 and now I weigh 160 a size 14 and he tries to tell me he doesn't notice the difference ....well *i* do I am so down on myself.

    Does anyone have some advice for making myself feel better about trying to loose to weight how to focus ont eh postive things? I joined Curves and am trying to cut back on my food and cola intake.

    I was drinking 8 or more colas a day and now I have cut down to 2 a day and the rest I only drink water. In between going to Curves I am lifting weights and using my eliptical machine.

    I still have seen no results at all.....

    I guess I just wantt something bright to focus on....
  • Hi there
    How long have you been doing your new healthier lifestyle? Maybe you just haven't given it time. I would really suggest getting rid of the soda habit entirely. There is just NO redeeming value in a can of fizzy sugar water. Have you tried keeping track of what you actually are eating? If you post a little more information, maybe we can help!

    Maybe instead of cutting down on the foods that you were eating, you need to take a look at the quality of what you eat and make some changes there. For example, if you were drinking 8 cans of cola a day (non-diet), that would account for approximately 1200 calories void of nutrition. To maintain my weight I eat about 1500 calories, with a LOT of exercise. That would only leave 300 calories for real food

    Even cutting down to 2 cans per day uses up 300 calories. That's pretty much a whole meal!

    Give us an idea of what you eat and how long you've been at it and maybe we can help

    As for focusing on the bright side-- I think you provided that for yourself! Size 4/6 clothes feel and look better on you, you won't feel depressed, you'll be happier with yourself.... It is so doable! Don't focus on the scale weight or your old weight, focus on feeling better, being happier with yourself, being stronger. If you are lifting weights, you'll fit into smaller clothes at a heavier scale weight than you previously did.

    Mel
  • I have been keeping track of my food intake on ***********.com here's a list of a typical day since I started to try to change my eating:



    Breakfeast

    Dole - Tropical Fruit Salad in passion fruit nectar,
    Carnation No Sugar Added Hot Cocoa Mix, Cola, contains caffeine, 1 can or bottle (12 fl oz)


    Lunch

    Cola, contains caffeine, 1 can or bottle (12 fl oz)
    Progresso Traditional 99% Fat Free New England Clam Chowder, 2 cup

    Dinner

    Chicken Breast, no skin, 1 unit (yield from 1 lb ready-to-cook chicken) Yellow Mustard, 5 tsp or 1 packet
    Honey, 5 tbsp Peas, canned, 1 cup
    Onions, raw, 1 cup, chopped


    Snacks

    Cheddar or Colby Cheese, Low Fat, 2 slice (1 oz)
    Banana, fresh, 1 medium (7" to 7-7/8" long) 109 28 1 1
    Herbal Tea, 6 fl oz
    Granulated Sugar, 3 tsp

    CALORIES CARBS FAT PROTEIN
    1,535 315 11 58


    And I have been going to Curves 4 times a week plus using my eliptical for 30 mins in between days and lifting weights on and off.
  • sorry and it's only been a month and I feel hungry all the time
  • I "tried" for several months to lose weight but it was barely happening (it took 4 months to lose 5 pounds), but since I began getting *serious* I have lost about 8 pounds of body fat in 2 months. Basically I started logging everything I eat into fitday, coming to this site often for motivation, and eating very healthfully. I am still eating too many calories to lose more weight (I average about 1900 calories per day) but the stepped up exercise program and watching what I eat has helped a lot. Clearly I was eating way more calories than I thought. I would eat a HUGE steak with a HUGE portion of sweet potato dripping in I Cant Believe Its Not Butter. I thought that was a healthy meal so I could eat these big portions. Well, I guess not! I wish I could eat less so I could lose more, but at least I am holding myself accountable and eating only healthy meals and snacks.
  • My suggestion is to eat more protein and healthy fat, reduce the number of carbohydrates you're eating, and give up soda. Protein and (good) fat will keep you from feeling hungry. I don't see any vegetables in your meals (other than peas, which are pretty starchy) either or good dairy like yogurt or milk.

    Here's some suggestions:

    Breakfast:
    egg white omelet or scrambled eggs w/veggies
    oatmeal w/nonfat milk and 1/2 Tbl. maple syrup (or nutrasweet) if you like sweetener

    Snack:
    nonfat cottage cheese (or lowfat) or yogurt
    thawed frozen berries

    Lunch:
    cut up chicken breast in a salad w/veggies like carrots, radishes, cucumber
    vinagrette dressing

    snack:
    10 almonds
    string cheese

    dinner:
    stir fry w/chicken or lean beef

    snack:
    1/2 banana
    yogurt

    You may like different foods, but I imagine you get the idea--eat less processed foods, and more proteins, fruits and veggies, and I bet you'll see the pounds start to go. If you choose not to eat much dairy, please be sure to take calcium. I have osteopenia and osteoporosis in a vertabrae, and I wish I would have started calcium earlier.
  • I wholeheartedly agree with the others who have posted here regarding food choices and nutrition. Congratulations on your exercise...that is great! I want to add this: BODY IMAGE is a HUGE part of weight loss success. You need to accept where you are right now enough to say, "I am OKAY and I DON'T need to comfort/numb myself with food." You need to start telling yourself, "I AM a healthy person, I LIKE choosing healthy choices for myself, THAT is who I am." The negative self-talk ('how did I get here? I am so fat! blah, blah, blah') results in self-perpetuating unhealthy choices. Seriously. I know this, because I HAVE LIVED THIS OVER AND OVER. I have lost a regained more than 40 pounds many times, and every time I regained the weight I kept the scale going up as I tried to drowned out my negative self-talk with food. Start with saying to yourself that where you are today is OKAY. It is your starting point. You will never have to be this size ever again if you don't want to, but it is a fine size for today. And from today forward you can be a healthy person. Because all that matters is today. And if for today you 1) exercise and 2) choose healthy foods and 3) eat in moderation then... YOU ARE A HEALTHY PERSON! So go for it! You want it and no one and nothing can stand in your way. Enjoy the process of figuring out what foods you want and like, learning what 'moderation' means for you, and discovering the muscles and bones that start appearing as you get more and more fit. This is a lot of fun! So much more enjoyable than a life hidden behind food and fat! You can do it!

    Lindy
  • A year and a half ago, I was exactly where you are now, just a little shorter. I weighed 150 pounds, wore a size 14 and was quickly headed to size 16. Losing weight felt completely impossible. But you are off to a great start. What you are doing--exercising and counting calories--is exactly what I did to lose weight and it absolutely works (I'm now down to 118 pounds--115 in the morning--and wear a size 2/4 ). It was slow going in the beginning, so give yourself some time. If you keep at it, I'm sure you'll start to see a difference.

    I made a lot of mistakes in the beginning around food choices--on limited calories and with added exercise, you do have to make smart choices or you will end up being hungry. A couple of suggestions:
    • Eat a high fiber, high protein, low sugar cereal for breakfast with skim milk or unsweetened soy milk. Or try oatmeal. Or a protein shake. The canned fruit you are eating is really high in sugar without much else to fill you up. If you want to eat fruit for breakfast, I think you would be way better off with fresh fruit.
    • Salads can be your best friend. I eat a BIG salad every day with my lunch and again with dinner. A cup of lettuce has only 5-10 calories, so you can eat a lot of it without blowing your calorie budget. Find some low-calorie dressings that you like or try salads with balsamic vinegar, fresh lemon juice, or salsa instead of dressing (but not all three at once, that would be bad ). Add veggies like tomatoes, cucumbers, radishes, celery, peppers, carrots, etc. to make the salads more interesting. My lunch salad is tomato, cucumbers, raspberries, basil, sea salt, pepper, and balsamic vinegar (I actually eat it with a spoon to get every last drop of vinegar).
    • Bulk up recipes with veggies. I double or triple the veggies in just about everything I make--it increases the amount of food I'm eating without significantly increasing the calories.
    • As others have suggested, don't drink beverages with calories. Try water, iced or hot tea or coffee (unsweetened, artificially sweetened, or with just a little sugar), diet soda, Crystal Light or similar drinks.
    • Try to work some lean protein or fiber into your lunch. Some great ideas are brown rice; beans; canned tuna, salmon or chicken; lean lunch meats like turkey or fat free ham on low-calorie whole wheat bread (I shoot for bread that is 90 calories or less per slice--there are a lot of excellent choices out there). Soup for lunch always leaves me hungry, esp. canned soup which tends to have a lot of broth and not a lot of actual food. Instead of 2 cups of soup, try one cup of soup over one serving of brown rice (look for pre-cooked frozen brown rice that you can just pop in the microwave or cook up a big batch on the weekend and freeze it in individual servings).
    The longer you do this, the better you'll get at it. You'll eventually figure out what to eat to stay within your calorie budget without being hungry. For most of the time I was dieting, my calories were limited to 1200 to 1400 per day and so long as I made smart choices, I wasn't hungry all the time.

    As I said, it was pretty slow going for me in the beginning and I definitely felt the same level of discouragement you are feeling. I had carried around my extra 30 pounds for so long I wasn't convinced I really could lose it. I seriously worried that I had somehow screwed up my metabolism and wouldn't be able to lose weight. What really helped me was to set a long term goal. I started counting calories on Nov 7, 2005 and I told myself I would give it until the end of February 06 (when I had a trip to Mexico planned). If I didn't see any progress by the end of February, I would try something else. I'm not sure what else I would have tried but it never came to that anyway--by the time February rolled around, I had made noticeable progress. In fact, by the end of December I was down about 5 pounds and from that point on the pounds came off pretty steadily until I got down to about 125. But having that long-term goal in the beginning really helped me get past the short-term lack of progress.
  • Thank you for all your advice it really has given me a new outlook and I am grateful for it! I think you are all right and I am going to try to make some changes to make myself more full.