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Dagnabit its not (just) about looks!!!!

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Old 12-07-2006, 07:43 PM   #1
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Default Dagnabit its not (just) about looks!!!!

OK my latest rant.

I am soooooo tired of people telling me "Oh but you look fine, why are you so concerned about your weight" (Side note: why is it always skinny people who OBSESS over their own weight who tell me this?)

My dad had diabetes (II)
My mom had gestational diabetes (GD) when she was pregnant with me (increases MY risk of TypeII)
I had GD when I was pregnant with my first (increases my risk)
I've shown signs of insulin resistance
My dad had heart disease.
I have had high cholesterol since I was first tested at 21 - even at times when I am "just a little overweight" and exercising and eating well, I have high cholesterol.

My dad's obesity related diseases killed him. Well technically lung cancer (from smoking) killed him, but he wasnt able to treat the cancer because they couldnt biopsy the tumor because of his blood thinners, they couldnt stop the blood thinners because of his heart, they had difficulty managing his diabetes and were concerned about what chemo would do with that and finally he threw in the towel and chose to do nothing because it was too overwhelming.

I can explain all that and a week later be told by the same person "you have such poor body image if you think its that important you lose weight--you look fine"

A whole lot of setbacks. Starting over.

My before/after pics
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Old 12-07-2006, 10:11 PM   #2
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Can you simply reply, "I am more concerned about health than vanity"?

I am constantly amazed by how frequently people feel free to comment on others' weight loss efforts in a negative way. Even when they mean well.
"And that's how Beowulf rolls"~ my DD
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Old 12-08-2006, 12:22 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by ennay View Post
"you have such poor body image if you think its that important you lose weight--you look fine"
I'm thinking my response would be "No, you're the one with the poor body image since you seem to think weight loss is only about looks."

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Old 12-08-2006, 04:24 AM   #4
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That is just awful about your poor father. Mine smokes also (very heavily) and it is really scary.

I guess it depends on what part of the country you live in, cuz in NYC they completely understand as most people are in pretty good shape here. I just get reminders from people a lot that I shouldn't be so hard on myself to lose the weight quickly since I "JUST" had a baby (yeah, like almost 6 months ago now!). I guess some people would like to continue their unhealthy lifestyle without guilt or reminders from people like you..LOL.

My former and future me.
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Old 12-08-2006, 08:11 AM   #5
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First, I would accept it as a compliment and concern Why not just say thank you, and I appreciate your concern, but I am losing weight for health reasons. I have a feeling I will face similar issues at your weight. Last time I was there, everyone told me I was fine (except the doctor who knew my family history LOL ) Everyone was so concerned about my being anorexic LOL 165 at 5' 3" is not anorexic no matter how you look at it You are doing great! Be proud they think you look good, and then do your own thing.
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Old 12-08-2006, 01:22 PM   #6
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I've had that same general response from people. ("oh, no way! you don't look 165! you don't NEED to lose weight...") Ok, so... exactly WHAT is 165 pounds on a 5'4" body supposed to look like????

I'm muscular. Due to years of weight lifting. So 165 (well, 170 now... ) might not look like 165 to some people.

But I have seen me nekkid!!! WOOO-WEE!!! That ain't sum'thin I'd wish on anybody! It's true... I don't have a lot of "fat"... what I DO HAVE is a lot of FLAB. Cellulitey, wiggly, disgusting FLAB. Even when I am at my good comfy weight (130-135) and wearing a size 8, I'm STILL ...... a little funky looking. I have plenty of muscle. UNDERNEATH all that FLAB! The cellulite never COMPLETELY goes away (I've seen tiny itty-bitty 105 pound girls with cellulite) - Tis horrible, tis is.

But aside of the vanity part of the weight, I'm MOST CONCERNED with my HEALTH. I have serious GERD. It acts up horribly when I'm overweight. And it's very painful. But it is practically non-existent when I am 135ish. My THIGHS rub together when I am overweight, and THAT chapped skin issue really HURTS. Diabetes is always a concern, as are joint problems (extra weight on the knees & hips & back... argh!) And the older I get, the more I feel it.

So when people ignorantly comment that "I look fine" I kindly tell them "It's not a vanity issue; it's a health issue. But thanks for your concern."

You CAN have ANYTHING you want,
but you CAN'T have EVERYTHING you want!
~my mama!
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