I quit smoking 10 years ago next August. I smoked more than two packs a day for about 30 years. I can tell you that one of the problems you are having is "breaking the habit" of when and where you smoke, as in right after meals. Maybe trying the SmokeEnders way of waitng 15 minutes after meals before smoking for a week then 30, then 45, then 60 will help. As far as that knot in your gut goes, that is the nicotine fix...the gum will help that go away.
When you are truly ready, it will be easier, there are no easy ways but some ways are more helpful than others.
All I can say is the gum FINALLY worked for me...but then I also WANTED it too!
I have never had an urge to start after quitting...I didn't go cold turkey, it took time and effort cutting back a little each day until all I did was chew nicorette then regular gum...sugar free of course!!
Good luck to you.