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Old 11-15-2006, 03:23 PM   #1
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Default Shifting Perspective

Have you ever had that sudden shift in perspective where you suddenly realize you don't look as good as you thought you did?

I just had one of those today. I've lost 41 lbs over the past year, and took to wearing tighter tops to show off my figure, and am wearing one of those today.

When I went to the bathroom just now and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I suddenly realized: I don't look that good. I've finally gotten used to not being obese, and while I knew intellectually that I was still quite overweight at 34% body fat, I was still so impressed with what I'd done that I thought I looked good.

I've suddenly shifted my perspective. Instead of thinking, "Gee, I've lost 41 lbs, don't I look better?" I'm thinking, "ACK! I'm 152 lbs! I'm supposed to be 135- 140. I'm actually kind of pudgy. Why am I wearing this form fitting top? My belly fat shows quite clearly through it!"

I'm still overweight. I knew that before, but now I SEE it, too. Weird. Nothing has changed from 10 minutes ago, except my outlook. I want to go home and put on a big floppy shirt that makes me look small!
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Old 11-15-2006, 03:34 PM   #2
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I was thinking about the same exact thing a few hours ago!!!

I am thrilled beyond measure that I am 165. I love that I've lost 62 lbs. I have been wearing things that are tighter or in the case of my bedroom, more revealing. I feel so good about myself and my journey so far....

And then I catch a glimpse of myself in a less than flattering moment and I remember all the years of my life where hitting 165 would have been reason for despair and depression (and bingeing and purging). In that instant, everything I've accomplished feels like a failure.

So what I realized when I was talking to myself in the mirror was this: I am where I am now because of every decision I have made in my life. I am still overweight because I decided time and time and time again to eat or drink too much, because I opted for TV over exercise, because I convinced myself that I "carried it well" -- but I am LESS overweight because I decided to change. Every day for well over 6 months, I have woken up that much healthier and that much closer to my goals. I can obsess over where I'm not, or I can rejoice in where I have come. I choose to rejoice -- because it feels better and frankly, it's much less dangerous from an emotional eating standpoint.

Choose to celebrate yourself!
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Old 11-15-2006, 03:39 PM   #3
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Heh, I don't know if we're every truly happy with ourselves. I now weigh 127 lbs, I'm a thin person. What bothers me now? My nose is big!

I think even beautiful super models obsess over their looks.
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Old 11-15-2006, 03:45 PM   #4
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Just as an aside, I'd be willing to bet you'll look bigger in a big floppy shirt than you do in the form-fitting top. I think everybody looks their best in clothes that actually fit.
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Old 11-15-2006, 04:00 PM   #5
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It's just a bit of anguish that I'm still heavier now than I was 3 months after my first pregnancy. That all of a sudden, what I thought was good- really isn't.

I'm not despairing, just aware. To people who knew me big, I'll look small. To people meeting me for the first time, I'll seem "well padded".

No biggy, just a bit puzzled a the sudden shift in perspective. When I get down to goal will I have a new shift? And suddenly see myself in a new way?
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Old 11-15-2006, 05:06 PM   #6
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I'm at my goal and somedays I feel like I look great, somedays I feel like I still look BIG. Today is a thin day for me and I feel good. On the days that I feel bigger, I try to remind myself where I came from. If I eat off program one meal, I feel 10 lbs. heavier immediately, even though, of course the scale doesn't show that. Some clothes flatter my figure better than others. I try to wear more form-fitting clothes now. I think the looser clothes do nothing for my figure.
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Old 11-15-2006, 06:32 PM   #7
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I don't feel like I look one bit different, really, even though I'm two sizes smaller. I really want to be happy somewhere. It really does concern me that I'll get to where I think I want to go and not be satisfied then, either. Then what do I do?

I'm sure you are looking fabulous. Even if you think you still have some work to do, rejoice in the results you have already seen. You deserve that.
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Old 11-15-2006, 08:31 PM   #8
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WOW - - I came here to post almost the same thing. I have lost a substantial amount of weight and yet I think that I am almost feeling worse about my body. I think "wow, I've lost almost 60 pounds and I still look like a cow". I also notice that I may have been happier when I didn't care what I looked like. I am so aware of how I look now that I get almost obsessive about it. I never tried on more than one outfit before work before I started losing and now I never leave without at least 3 wardrobe changes. It seems that the more I lose and the more I care the less satisfied I become. Anyone else?
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Old 11-15-2006, 09:46 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilybelle View Post
If I eat off program one meal, I feel 10 lbs. heavier immediately, even though, of course the scale doesn't show that.

Ain't that the truth!!!

And I think my body was more proportionate when I was heavier. Now, the tummy ponch stands out more.
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Old 11-16-2006, 09:51 AM   #10
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I've heard that weight doesn't always come off evenly -- I know that at times in the past few months my proportions have been WAY off (my waist was smaller but no change on my hips, so I looked heavier when I was actually about 20 lbs less!) I think that is why some of us are wondering why clothes still don't look "right" after losing the pounds....
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Old 11-16-2006, 10:27 AM   #11
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I think I've been defining myself by "what I'm not". All the time I was obese, I kept thinking, I'm not really this fat- this is just temporary. As I lost weight, I was thinking, "I'm NOT 193 lbs anymore!" "I'm not 175 lbs." "I'm not 160 lbs". I think I suddenly swung the other way. "I'm NOT 135 lbs yet, what am I doing???"

Perhaps I ought to admit that I AM 152 lbs right now, with all that that implies both health wise and appearancewise for my height and age. I'm 34% fat! It doesn't really matter where I was and how much I've changed in the last year.

HERE is where I am now.

And there is still work to be done.
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Old 11-16-2006, 10:52 AM   #12
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lilybelle:

Quote:
I'm at my goal and somedays I feel like I look great, somedays I feel like I still look BIG. Today is a thin day for me and I feel good. On the days that I feel bigger, I try to remind myself where I came from. If I eat off program one meal, I feel 10 lbs. heavier immediately, even though, of course the scale doesn't show that. Some clothes flatter my figure better than others. I try to wear more form-fitting clothes now. I think the looser clothes do nothing for my figure.
Well I am not near "goal" yet but I feel the same way! I have always tried to wear more form fitting clothes plus a tummy tightener cause then I feel more trimmer, if I don't then I feel more frumpy and don't tend to watch what I am doing(at least in the beginning) Nowadays I am so on track most of the time it has more to do with me feeling my best.

Mom2QJandT:

Quote:
WOW - - I came here to post almost the same thing. I have lost a substantial amount of weight and yet I think that I am almost feeling worse about my body. I think "wow, I've lost almost 60 pounds and I still look like a cow".
That is exactly how I am feeling! I was 280 June of 2006 and got down to 250 by December of 2005 and was really proud. I had to take a few months off due to pregnancy and miscarriage but maintained yet lost a little muscle due to no walking and taking it easy. Anyhow Aporil 24 I was raring to go and was 250. I got back on track but had to regain muscle and I was still eating ALOT although healthier stuff. I hit 238.5 August 1, 2006

My weight loss stalled for about a month cause it was so hot in August that my walking was cut in half and I was still being bad with portions. By Sept 7 I was 235 and I swear I felt better and thought I looked so great then! I think part of it was getting back on the losing streak. That was when I discovered cal counting so I knew I was on my way again. I have been losing steadily ever since. Usually about 2 pounds a week. The month of October I lost about 9.75 pounds, the month of Sept I think it was like 7. But the point I am getting to is now I am at 214.5 and I feel humongous!!! I feel like a fat cow! I feel fatter than I did at 235!!! That is 20 pounds difference!!! (I know I am thinner though) Last month my average for walking was 67 minutes a day, this month I have upped it and am at an average of 89 a day. But I just feel fat and I feel like the weight is not coming off, even though it is. I was 219 when we started the month and I am 214.5 now. So 4.5 pounds.

It was so bad yesterday that I didn't even want to go out in public! The day before I looked in the mirror and my tummy looked huge! It is weird it is like the top part is going down which makes my boobs look great, but it feels like it is falling to the bottom(the tummy). I looked great straight on with the jeans and shirt, but when I looked sideways I was like good lord! I am huge!! I thought, well put your tummy tightener on. Then I remembered I already had it on ! I put a longer shirt on to cover it. I was feeling so down I didn't even want to go see my hubby for lunch. (I bring us a sack lunch 4 days and the other day we eat out)

He left me a sweet little note on the computer though. Anyhow I am really hoping this is just a transition phase and that this is going to melt ogff soon. I know like some of the other women have said when they have a problem area it does get slimmer with losing weight but they still notice it. I know even before when I was 15 and lost alot of weight. Down from like 215 to about 160, I looked great but still had a little tummy, it didn't really bug me though. But I do remember I had it.

Someone please tell me this tummy is going to shrink!!!

Quote:
I am so aware of how I look now that I get almost obsessive about it. I never tried on more than one outfit before work before I started losing and now I never leave without at least 3 wardrobe changes. It seems that the more I lose and the more I care the less satisfied I become. Anyone else?
I am feeling the same way!!

MissieA:

Quote:
And I think my body was more proportionate when I was heavier. Now, the tummy ponch stands out more.
That is exactly me!

OnePerDecade:

Quote:
I've heard that weight doesn't always come off evenly -- I know that at times in the past few months my proportions have been WAY off (my waist was smaller but no change on my hips, so I looked heavier when I was actually about 20 lbs less!) I think that is why some of us are wondering why clothes still don't look "right" after losing the pounds...
Please tell me it gets better dear! Good Lord!!!
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Old 11-16-2006, 11:34 AM   #13
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Talk about perspective and all things being relative, now that I'm down to a mere 236 pounds, (catch the sarcasam?) I have to admit that I do indeed look better and have been feeling better about myself and then I think what the heck you look horrible you're 236 pounds, you have absolutely no right to think that you look good. And it definitely comes off different then it went on, the weight that is. My stomach has remained huge and my waist is whittling away, so um yeah, it stands out way more then before and quite frankly before the weight loss I didn't think much about how I looked, obviously or I wouldn't have been 287 pounds and now I can't stop thinking about how I look. Oh life is strange and this weight loss thing is even stranger.
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Old 11-16-2006, 12:08 PM   #14
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Congrats on 51 pounds fed up! How long have you been working on it? What plan are you following? You are doing great! Keep your chin up!
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Old 11-16-2006, 12:21 PM   #15
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Thanks so much Jasmine. You're doing pretty darn well yourself.

I started September 4, 2006. I'm basically counting calories, eating lean protein like white meat chicken, fish and some soy-based products. Lots and lots and lots of veggies. Oh yeah and lots and lots and lots of veggies, I know I said that twice, I just wanted to stess just how much veggies I am really eating. And I drink lots of water, but I always did that. And I'm exercising a bit, could definitely improve in that area. And a lot of old - fashioned will power.
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