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Old 11-14-2006, 09:23 PM   #1
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Unhappy dumped

So my BF of about 2 years called it quits with me on the weekend.
I'm pretty devastated.
I've been working so hard to avoid crying into a pint of ice cream or bag of cookies but I dunno how long that's going to last.
I've gone to my regular hour-long step class at the gym every day since, trying to keep on track, but I find that when I get there I don't have my usual energy.
Anyone have any advice on how to get through this?
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Old 11-14-2006, 09:40 PM   #2
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I'm sorry. I don't have any advice. I think you are doing a good thing for yourself in continuing your exercise, though. Time is about the only thing I know of that will help you. One foot in front of the other.
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Old 11-14-2006, 09:47 PM   #3
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I am very sorry to read about what happened. I don't know you but I have been there and I do know it will get better.
Just remember once you start to feel better don't jump into another relationship right away, especially a serious one.
Take your time. You have all the time in the world to feel better. Your emotions may still be unstable and the first person you meet may get undeserved love. The first week after a break up are the hardest of all. Each day will get a little easier. It was for me in the past. However, the road to recovery is short and beneficial to our being. Without a broken heart, we may never know what we really want or really need.
And trust me you do NOT need ice cream. Stick with your class, you will thank yourself later. Look at how much you lost already! You can get through this!!

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Old 11-14-2006, 10:18 PM   #4
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I've always found that being mad is more conducive to keeping my energy levels high than being sad. (I know that sounds terribly simplistic, but I really did develop the ability to choose which emotion to feel, after a while.) If you can find a way to focus on frustration, that may actually help you at the gym. Just don't overdo it.

Maybe kickboxing or Tae-Bo? Something like that is an excellent way to let out frustration, and the endorphins after a good workout will help keep your spirits lifted.

And I know that you're in pain right now, and I'm very sorry for that. But you will be happy again, and likely sooner than you think. Meanwhile, do keep posting here so we can help you get through this! *hugs*
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Old 11-15-2006, 04:01 AM   #5
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I dunno if I can help...but I can probably scare you out of finishing that ice cream.
When I went through heartbreak two years ago, I was 105 lbs (I'm very short). I eventually fell into severe depression, dropped out of school, and here's the WORST PART: gained 30 lbs in 4 months from binge eating. I ditched work to binge. I'd binge at work. I'd come home and binge. And for every pound I gained, I was that much more afraid that I might bump into HIM again. I lived everyday in dread that he'd see me with those 30 lbs. Can you imagine the misery?
I finally lost the weight this August, with the help of antidepressants and 45 minutes of exercise, 3 times a week.
Just think how much WORSE it would be on yourself, emotionally, if you drowned your sorrow in food.

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Old 11-15-2006, 08:39 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kateful View Post
I'm sorry. I don't have any advice. I think you are doing a good thing for yourself in continuing your exercise, though. Time is about the only thing I know of that will help you. One foot in front of the other.
Thanks One foot in front of the other is a great way of thinking of it.
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Old 11-15-2006, 08:41 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oc cutiepie View Post

I am very sorry to read about what happened. I don't know you but I have been there and I do know it will get better.
Just remember once you start to feel better don't jump into another relationship right away, especially a serious one.
Take your time. You have all the time in the world to feel better. Your emotions may still be unstable and the first person you meet may get undeserved love. The first week after a break up are the hardest of all. Each day will get a little easier. It was for me in the past. However, the road to recovery is short and beneficial to our being. Without a broken heart, we may never know what we really want or really need.
And trust me you do NOT need ice cream. Stick with your class, you will thank yourself later. Look at how much you lost already! You can get through this!!



Thanks so much for your nice response Hearing (well, reading) your words really helps to put into perspective that things WILL get better. And you're right.. no rebound relationships!! They only lead to more trouble.
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Old 11-15-2006, 08:44 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by callystia View Post
I've always found that being mad is more conducive to keeping my energy levels high than being sad. (I know that sounds terribly simplistic, but I really did develop the ability to choose which emotion to feel, after a while.) If you can find a way to focus on frustration, that may actually help you at the gym. Just don't overdo it.

Maybe kickboxing or Tae-Bo? Something like that is an excellent way to let out frustration, and the endorphins after a good workout will help keep your spirits lifted.

And I know that you're in pain right now, and I'm very sorry for that. But you will be happy again, and likely sooner than you think. Meanwhile, do keep posting here so we can help you get through this! *hugs*

You're right about the frustration = energy thing.. maybe a kickboxing/tae bo class would be better than step for a few days.. easier to vent with all the kicking and punching.. maybe I'll imagine I'm kicking him in the head! Haha.
Thanks so much for your kind words. It's great to have a place like this where people take the time to care for one another.
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Old 11-15-2006, 08:47 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissyK View Post
I dunno if I can help...but I can probably scare you out of finishing that ice cream.
When I went through heartbreak two years ago, I was 105 lbs (I'm very short). I eventually fell into severe depression, dropped out of school, and here's the WORST PART: gained 30 lbs in 4 months from binge eating. I ditched work to binge. I'd binge at work. I'd come home and binge. And for every pound I gained, I was that much more afraid that I might bump into HIM again. I lived everyday in dread that he'd see me with those 30 lbs. Can you imagine the misery?
I finally lost the weight this August, with the help of antidepressants and 45 minutes of exercise, 3 times a week.
Just think how much WORSE it would be on yourself, emotionally, if you drowned your sorrow in food.

Hugs
Aw I'm sorry to hear you went through all of that Thanks for sharing it though, it's always great when people are willing to share their past experiences to try to help someone else.
I'm going to keep your words in my head every time I get near the freezer Thanks so much!
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Old 11-15-2006, 09:39 AM   #10
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My story is this:
I was so angry with my ex-bf when he broke up with me but he was right about a few things. I had low self esteem, I put myself down all the time and basically hated myself and he couldn't deal with that. So I decided that I would really learn to love myself but I was still angry. I used the time of being single to eat right, exercise and focus my energy into my efforts. That is how really I went from the 350s to the 270s in 4 months. I stabilized and went back up the 280s and stayed there for 18 months or so until the beginning of this year when I decided it was time to lose weight, not out of anger but out of desire to continue my weight loss progress.
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Old 11-15-2006, 09:52 AM   #11
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Hi Juliebee, I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time but you will get through it and come out stronger than ever.
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Old 11-15-2006, 11:30 AM   #12
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If you really have to have something chocolate (since it does release chemicals that mimic the feeling of being loved) you can minimize the damage by having a glass of chocolate fat free milk, or pudding. Or, if you are feeling really weird, just eat some plain cocoa, no sugar or fat at all! I've read that's how the Aztecs drank it! Yuck! But it would get you the chemical boost that chocolate gives....
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Old 11-15-2006, 12:04 PM   #13
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Maria, chocolate naturally has fat in it but it doesn't naturally have sugar in it. I went to the Lindt store not far from where I live and they have 99% pure chocolate. I tasted it and it wasn't bad but it was very strong! I prefer my chocolate to be somewhere around 85%.
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Old 11-15-2006, 07:38 PM   #14
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Your 152 keep going!!!You'll make it to your goal in no time...and it will be so much sweeter than any bar of chocolate, cookies or ice cream...
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Old 11-15-2006, 07:46 PM   #15
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Aww! Thank you so much futuresurferchick!! That brought a smile to my face.
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