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Old 10-19-2006, 11:33 AM   #1
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Default I hate this about myself....

No matter how much weight I lose, no matter what size I go down too.. when I look in the mirror I still see me as fat. Now.. dont get all worried and thing I am going to starve ( could never do that) or develope bulemia ( I couldnt do that either) however, I do get addicted to exercise.. so thats about the worst thing that could happen. But, I dont exercise more than an hour at the time, so I can replenish my body.. dont want to start buring muscle.. anyways. I hate that I have such a skewed body image, when I touch my body it feels thin.. even sometimes when I look in a full length mirror I look thin. But when I catch a mirror at home, waist up, i swear I am like ugghh. I dont want to end up in therapy because I used to be a fat girl, but I just want to know how to over come this. Now... when I lose the next 18lbs I may not see what I see..now.. it may help. But what if it doesnt?!?! Arggg... anyone else see themselves like that? So annoying because I *know* Im not fat anymore... and its not so extreme that I feel like I am looking in a fun house mirror or anything.. I just pick at little things like, where my bra cuts in, area is a little soft, I dont have rolls anymore, but it still bothers me, or my love handles... ok.. im gonna stop before I depress myself lol.. I just want to know if anyone else has this issue, or had and how did you overcome it!
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Old 10-19-2006, 11:54 AM   #2
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I felt that way for a long time, but it did eventually go away. It wasn't any great "moment of enlightenment", just a gradual fading of the illusion that I was still fat. Now, I love the way I look. I don't know if it will happen that way for you, but I certainly hope it does.

You look fabulous, by the way!
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Old 10-19-2006, 11:55 AM   #3
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I know exactly what you mean. All you can do is your best though. I sometimes worry about that too, like when I get down to 150 if I will be all nitpicky. Then i remind myself that NOT being nitpicky and NOT caring is how I ballooned up to 280! Just remind your self that it is better to be 158 with love handles than to be 260!!! You are doing great!
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Old 10-19-2006, 11:58 AM   #4
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I definitely have that issue. I see myself in a full length mirror in my room in the morning, and I think, "wow, I'm starting look really thin". Then I go brush my teeth in the bathroom, where I see myself waist up, and I look horridly fat. Then I go back to the full-length mirror and I feel like I look fatter than I did a couple minutes before...which I know is impossible! Then I end up changing my outfit about 10 times, then settle for a less-flattering outfit that hides my fat cuz I don't want anyone to think I look hideous.

LOL...i dunno. Sometimes I think we all have fat days. We just need to get through them. What I like to do now is I brush my teeth in our other bathroom, where the mirror is only shoulders and up. I try to avoid the other mirror as much as possible. Maybe that would help you?

Looking at your avatar, you definitely are NOT fat! But I know it's hard to believe...trust me, I have the same issues. Just try to compliment yourself once in a while...think of the accomplishment of losing more than 100 pounds! You really have a lot to be proud of...and you have a body to be proud of!
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Old 10-19-2006, 12:01 PM   #5
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I second that you look fabluous!

I think it's a time issue. Think about it--how many years did you spend overweight? That's what you're used to seeing and feeling and dealing with. It takes time with everything in your head to catch up to and get used to the new physical body you've developed.
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Old 10-19-2006, 02:19 PM   #6
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Have you ever considered that the problem might not lie with you, but with the bathroom mirror? Some of them are MAGNIFIED, girl!

I don't mean to make light of what you're going through, but I think it's rather common for women your age to be pre-occupied with their physical imperfections. I remember being that way. Even though I know objectively that my body looks much worse than it did when I was 25, I am more happy with it now than I was then.

I looked at the picture in your profile, and you look GREAT! And what dedication it must have taken to lose over 100 pounds. You should be very proud of yourself.
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Old 10-19-2006, 02:44 PM   #7
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I agree with what Jill said, that it takes time to get used to such a big change and I hope that one day the feeling will come to you more and more of loving your body and being happy with it

Someone wrote a post in the 100lb forum about this not too long ago, and I am sure there are many people who can relate. I haven't lost a lot of weight this time around, but I have trouble knowing what I look like. When I was 70 pounds lighter years ago, I thought I looked like I do now.. and now, I think I actually see myself as thinner than I am... my perception is truly off I think. And I wonder if I'll begin feeling how you're feeling as I lose more weight... I can definitely see myself there... so if it helps any, you're not alone in feeing this way.

I know it's hard and I know what I say won't solve how you're feeling, but I do want to repeat what an amazing thing you have accomplished and that you truly do look great!

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I dont want to end up in therapy because I used to be a fat girl, but I just want to know how to over come this.
Can I ask why? I hope that if you need help, you will reach out for it though - you deserve to feel good in and about your body
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Old 10-19-2006, 02:55 PM   #8
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I have only been at maintenance for 3 months and I have these same issues. I even started to lower my goal because I felt like I still look fat. I don't have a full-length mirror at home. Last week while shopping, I looked in a full-length mirror and realized how thin I looked in it. I had set my goal at 145 and kept being disappointed with myself for not getting to 135. I finally decided that this is unhealthy thinking on my part. That I should be thrilled with where I'm at. I had to stop weighing myself every day. Go by how my clothes fit and just weigh once a week. My biggest fear was this if I ever did get to 135 would I still find fault with that and want to go lower. I still have some days that I wake up feeling fat and some days that I wake up feeling thin. But, I'm trying to learn to be happy with where I'm at. I have noticed that some of my wt. is shifting. My hips seem a little rounder and my tummy is looking flatter, so this is a good thing for me. Hang in there. I do think that with having the extra weight for a long time, it will take a long time for us to see ourselves as anything but over-weight.
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Old 10-19-2006, 03:36 PM   #9
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I think many of us have body image problems regardless of what we currently weigh. I thought I was fat at 115 lbs! I still looked in the mirror and saw me at 200 pounds. Common sense should tell us that if we are fitting into smaller clothes, then we must be smaller. Unfortunately common sense doesn't always prevail. You look great BTW
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Old 10-20-2006, 02:41 AM   #10
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I do the same dern thing.. lol.. changing a million times.. its so weird!! People freak me out, like when I am eatting healthy this one girl that sits in the same "pod" as me at work, was like.. thats my your so little.. Im all looking around over my shoulders. lol Like was she really talking to me?!? Then I was chatting with a guy, and I said something about choke slamming him lol and he was like psha, girl your so little I would break you in half.. and it almost makes me uncomfortable, because I didnt want anyone else to hear him a think.. " she is soooo.. not little" I know its crazy but Ive never been this size so.. when people comment about it, it almost makes me uncomfortable.. im weird

Quote:
Originally Posted by LaBonita View Post
I definitely have that issue. I see myself in a full length mirror in my room in the morning, and I think, "wow, I'm starting look really thin". Then I go brush my teeth in the bathroom, where I see myself waist up, and I look horridly fat. Then I go back to the full-length mirror and I feel like I look fatter than I did a couple minutes before...which I know is impossible! Then I end up changing my outfit about 10 times, then settle for a less-flattering outfit that hides my fat cuz I don't want anyone to think I look hideous.
Looking at your avatar, you definitely are NOT fat! But I know it's hard to believe...trust me, I have the same issues. Just try to compliment yourself once in a while...think of the accomplishment of losing more than 100 pounds! You really have a lot to be proud of...and you have a body to be proud of!
Thank you! I totally agree with the whole mind catching up to the body, it seriously does play with your mind.. more so than one would think. I remember when I was bigger I was like, if I was only skinny then I would have no problems, I would be completely happy about everything, and now that I am thinner, Im freaking out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jillybean720 View Post
I second that you look fabluous!

I think it's a time issue. Think about it--how many years did you spend overweight? That's what you're used to seeing and feeling and dealing with. It takes time with everything in your head to catch up to and get used to the new physical body you've developed.
Amen, sistah! Common sense never prevails over what you *think* you see. But the weirdest part is.. I am completely content with pictures! Im like.. damn! ( pardon my french) when I see them, its that effin mirror!!!!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by TamiL View Post
I think many of us have body image problems regardless of what we currently weigh. I thought I was fat at 115 lbs! I still looked in the mirror and saw me at 200 pounds. Common sense should tell us that if we are fitting into smaller clothes, then we must be smaller. Unfortunately common sense doesn't always prevail. You look great BTW
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