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Old 10-05-2006, 12:04 AM   #1
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Default Ouch...that hurt!

Have you experienced times in ur life when u felt hurt/sad because people unknowingly said bad things about overweight people (notnecessarily directly to you)...or praised someone for the skinny figure and great looks they had.

I was with a bunch of friends at work the other day and they were comparing two new girls who just joined a nearby dept. I know they didnt realise that I was there or it would affect me. They were judging those 2 ladies based on their looks and how "one maintained her figure inspite of being a mother so she must be really an organised and disciplined person by nature!"

What has a persons nature got to do anything with their body? Infact I feel people who have some imperfections will always be more kind and good-natured in life...jmho! I know that even when I lose all my weight, I would never even imagine of thinking like that!
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Old 10-05-2006, 12:19 AM   #2
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I know what you mean. My mother often comments about overweight people. I just think, ''Doesn't she realize that was ME a year ago, and I still feel just like the people she's talking about?" It's weird. Sometimes people just don't think.
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Old 10-05-2006, 12:27 AM   #3
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I absolutely hate to hear anyone talk bad about someone who is overweight. I have been there (many times) and it's hard to lose weight and a person has to be in the right frame of mind to do it. As for the thin mom, how do they know she has maintained her figure. Maybe, like many of us, she has struggled and lost weight and is very conscious to keep her new found figure. A person that didn't know me before now, might think the same of me if they saw me with my children. But, believe me, it isn't so. I always felt I was a very organized person and disciplined in other areas of my life, but not my eating.
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Old 10-05-2006, 04:30 AM   #4
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How about, "She maintaned her figure after childbirth. She must be anally retentive and neglecting her kids..." Swings both ways!! It's just stuff people say!! It doesn't mean anything, most people don't think before opening their mouths. In fact most people just don't think!!!!

This is why I hate small talk! I always feel it's completely pointless and not true at all. Some guy in the lift last night asked me if I was a biker (I was dressed head to toe in protective clothing and carrying my helmet so it was pretty obvious!). Mainly I want to say, "No I'm wearing this for a dare!" But I MEAN what a stupid thing to say! If he'd wanted to talk about bikes, he could've opened with, "Hey, what kind of bike to you ride?" But no....

Anyway... tangent.

Just ignore 'em, I'm sure everyone's said something without thinking and when you think about it, what you've said it's pretty stupid.
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Old 10-05-2006, 07:16 AM   #5
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A MALE friend of mine was harsh despite being obese a few years ago himself. He lost A TON of weight, went from obese to a SKINNY FRAIL SKELETON. He said to me once that he believed all fat people shuld be located on an island where they should be forced to be on treadmills forever while skinny models crossed their view and ate ice cream! Now thats harsh...
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Old 10-05-2006, 08:43 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2frustrated View Post
Some guy in the lift last night asked me if I was a biker (I was dressed head to toe in protective clothing and carrying my helmet so it was pretty obvious!). Mainly I want to say, "No I'm wearing this for a dare!"
Yes! I get the urge to respond like that all the time!

I have been pretty lucky that I haven't ever really been around people who would talk like that about a person's weight. It is awful when people draw so many conclusions from a person's looks. Is that how THEY want to be treated?
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Old 10-05-2006, 08:45 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by veggielover View Post
A MALE friend of mine was harsh despite being obese a few years ago himself. He lost A TON of weight, went from obese to a SKINNY FRAIL SKELETON. He said to me once that he believed all fat people shuld be located on an island where they should be forced to be on treadmills forever while skinny models crossed their view and ate ice cream! Now thats harsh...
Wow, that's pretty extreme. He must've really hated himself.
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Old 10-05-2006, 09:16 AM   #8
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I watched an episode of King of Queens and in this episode Arthur showed Doug some photos and Carrie's (Arthur is Carrie's Dad, in case you don't watch the show) mother was pictured and I guess she gained weight later on in their marriage. (the mother passed on) Anyways Doug asked Arthur about it and Arthur told him that most of the women in the family started out thin but gained weight later.

Doug was horrifed at the thought of his now thin wife becoming overweight. So he started noticing that Carrie had put on a couple pounds and wanted to "nip it in the bud" before she gained too much. He talked to his friend at work about it and his friend at work advised him to leave it alone as he had already tried it with his wife and it took him 7 months to get to where he was now.

But Doug didn't listen and mentioned to Carrie that "he" wanted to go on a diet but wanted them "both" to do it. Carrie was like, "We"? and finally it came out that Doug wanted her to drop some weight. She of course got upset but said she would lose the weight.

So that night Carrie makes Spaghetti for Doug and Arthur but a very small peice of Haddock and Broccoli for herself along with a salad with fat free dressing she measures out. Doug gets annoyed by this and tells her to "EAT" but she refuses. So then he says, "Okay I will eat what your having" and makes himself a plate. He scarfs his down and they do the diet thing together but Doug is in misery and then goes to work and his friend's wife found out that he and Doug were talking and so he was starting from square one with his wife again.

Anyways. It comes out later that the reason Doug is worried about this was because of the picture he saw of Carries mother and so Carrie asks him what he would think of her if she did gain as much weight as her mother. He said he would be fine with it but made a face of disgust behind her back and she saw his reflection in the window.

Later on Carrie sees her wedding pictures and has a "break down" about it and tries on her wedding dress and discovers she cannot fit into it. She also tells Doug that she is a big "fattie" and is going to be big and FAT and unattractive. They talk about it and Doug says that he is okay with her and that she will always be beautiful and all of that, but it just really made me feel crappy.

Yet another message on tv that says that fat people are disgusting and unattractive. It just makes me sick how many tv shows, ads, movies all have the same message. No wonder so many young people have eating disorders and what not now a days!
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Old 10-05-2006, 09:23 AM   #9
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And Doug is the picture of a healthy fit person? That really burns me up....he's heavy (and actually I think the actor HAS put on weight in real life) and Carrie tries to lose the weight? The ending of this episode would have been better if she then found out she was pregnant!!! oh? so thats why you've put on 5 lbs? oh? for the right reasons!
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Old 10-05-2006, 01:03 PM   #10
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Ouch... !! We live in a very harsh culture in that sense... and why is it that women are so much more pressured to look a certain way in comparison to men?? Agh it bothers me to no end!

That episode sounds absolutely hypocritical, from what I remember Doug is nowhere near a healthy weight.
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Old 10-05-2006, 03:28 PM   #11
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Women weigh 5 pounds too much and are heavy. I complain about it and my hubby says that guys are pressured to be buff and that it is hard on guys, but he agrees it is harder for women.
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Old 10-05-2006, 03:40 PM   #12
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You know that new mom who was so skinny might just be lucky. One of my friends gave birth and was back to a size 0 two weeks later. As humor write Dave Barry once said, "Sometime people can drink whiskey and eat nothing but slim jims and look great. Meanwhile, you could eat nothing but lettuce and look like a water buffalo."
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Old 10-06-2006, 06:15 AM   #13
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Hi Ladies. I agree with you all. Yes your right, Doug (Kevin James) is definately not the "picture of health". Although most of the time Carrie does make fun of him constantly, but still I did not find the episode I mentioned above humerous at all esp. since he always gets most of the brunt of the jokes about his weight on the show, but they always make him look good and her look awful. I think its just how society is though, unfortunately. That the women are all to be "Super Models" and that guys can pretty much do what they want and look and act however they want.

Take my husband for ex. He is a "Big Guy", but it is more acceptable for him to be "Big" than for me. When we go places, I see people give me looks of disgust, but give him a big smile. Like when we went to the outlet mall on our vacation. This one woman stopped and looked at me up and down and gave me that "look". If you've ever been heavy in your life, you know what that "look" is. It made me want to scratch her eyes out! But I didn't.

But I get that all the time. There is this one woman at work who really drives me insane. She insists on always "looking up" my husband all the time and she knows me and knows of course we are married. Yet she continues to "look him up" all the time. I don't mind him having friends that are girls, but we as women and esp. when it concerns our "man" we KNOW when a woman is out to get our man versus just being "Friendly". I always tell my husband he is just too nice and some women mistake that as flirting.

It just drives me insane how some women totally disrespect other women who are either married or involved with a man and they KNOW it. There is a big difference between being nice or a friend and "out to get" a man.

And this woman that is doing this at work is of course thin and pretty. I hate that. I know that gives out a wrong impression on other women who are thin and pretty and who do NOT act that way, but it totally drives me insane women who are and think they can get a way with everything just because of it.

Anyways. Sorry to have gotten off on a bit of a tangent there, but yes there is definately a difference on how "Big" Men and "Big" Women get treated in today's society.

These are all just my humble opinions............

Have a Great Day!

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Old 10-06-2006, 09:07 AM   #14
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Since 60% of Americans are now overweight, that attitude may change in the future. People need to be more tolerant. Unless you live the other person's life, you don't know why they might be overweight...over consumption, health problems, etc.
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Old 10-06-2006, 10:24 PM   #15
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People who have never dealt with weight/physical imperfections in their life do not realise how difficult and frustrating it is to lose pounds. They think its easy just coz its easy for THEM to stay thin without effort.
I personally feel that overwieght people eat healthier food and workout more often than most naturally thin people.

Most of my office collegues who are naturally thin have bowls of candy and chocolate onn their desk and often eat full fat/full sugar ice-creams/cookies... I do not remember the last time I have had fat free and sugar free cookies, forget regular cookies/chocolates.
They feel a lil sad and hog on Reese's/hersheys for hours. I've seen people eating cheeses and drinking alcohol glass after glass in parties... How could they be more responsible/disciplined in life than other overweight people who have avoided this for years and have put more efforts than them in life!?!
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