[phantastica]

My initial weight-loss motivator was vanity ... I decided to start dating, and I knew I'd be more successful if I lost some weight, and I knew I'd be more resilient if I felt good about my body.

Along the way, I started getting excited about health, and that's been a recent motivator.

After losing a significant amount of weight, I've enjoyed the drastic changes so much that they keep me going: having more energy, having a spring in my step all the time, my range of motion, my ability to break into a sprint, being able to find clothes that fit, being comfortable in many more situations, etc.

[BreakingFree]

Originally Posted by plutonianmir

The problem is, I really don't have high self esteem to begin with. Never did!! Lots of childhood issues are carried with me to this day and I haven't learned to let go. Even issues I have faced as an adult is still being carried with me today... I have tonnes of resentments and anger as well. I do know when I lost a lot of weight on Jenny Craig last year those resentments were starting to taper off, and I had an easier time letting things happen. But some things happened in the summer that reversed all of that, and here I am at square one again. Well I wouldn't say I have gained all of my weight back because I haven't but a lot of it I have. So what is it going to take for me to let go and forgive? Because I know that is truely going to help me not only lose the weight but keep it on and I am not a forgiving person!!!!

Have you considered therapy? When I started to deal with some of my childhood "stuff," the weight started coming off. It can be hard to work out all that stuff from the past without someone who's trained to guide you.

[lipidful]

For me, it was a combination of health and vanity. I admit it, I was hating the way I looked in pictures. I didn't want to get old and fat. I can't avoid the old part, so I might as well try to be old and fit instead of fat. Arthritis runs rampant in my family, as do breathing problems and some diabetes. I do NOT want to become immobile. I'm so afraid of that. I think I realized that one day, I will be old, and I don't want to fall apart earlier than necessary. Also, I couldn't fit into a bridesmaid dress.

[beginme]

I spent my whole life motivating myself through negativity. I honestly believed it was the only way I could really do my best.

Fortunately, I found out I was wrong. All that negativity finally added up and I was left w/a nice big depression. Horrific, but the best thing that ever happened to me. I got perspective on LIFE. I found myself.

What motivates me now?

The fact that when I look in the mirror, I know the body in front of me just isn't me. It's the product of a lot of anger, hate, sadness, and pain. That isn't who I am any more.

It's HARD. REALLY, REALLY HARD to break those negative habits (thoughts, eating, sitting, etc). But that's ok. I've learned that it's the hardest stuff that brings the richest rewards.

I feel like my life really is a new beginning since my depression. It's a gift and I know I am worth good care. Which means eating well, moving well, and thinking good thoughts.

[Styrene145]

Hey Kate:

I completely understand why you feel the way you do. I have been "the fat one" for so long I doubt I would know how to feel if I suddenly didn't fit that label anymore. However, most of what you've listed are very negative thoughts and feelings. The ability to stay positive is one of the things we need in order to continue on our weight loss journey successfully. I would suggest that you put the negative things behind you as much as possible and focus as much as possible on the positive motivating factors.

When I am down and feeling like I want to pitch the program and eat ice cream I usually try to have a program snack and then go to the mall and try on clothes to see how far I've come. This reinforces the good feeling about losing weight and gives me more motivation to stay with the plan.

I weighed 298 lbs for a long time and was rejected by more men than I can count. Today at 205 lbs I am still not "good enough" for most superficial men. But I know something that they don't and that is that they can choose a skinny ***** every time and after their roll in the hay (which lets face it doesn't last that long) they will go right back to being the miserable, sad and shallow men they have always been. We aren't missing anything when we miss out on them.

You are a beautiful girl at any size and no man that is waiting for you to look better is derserving of your time or worth causing your pain. I give this speech to myself every day.