When someone's worked hard to prepare a meal, they want to see their guests enjoy it, not reject it.
That's just it, I DON'T reject it. And then I go home kicking myself for eating that crap.
I mean sheesh, can't they fix at least ONE healthy meal? Why does everything have to be deep-fried or drowned in butter? Do you or does anyone else expect me to put that junk into my body just to be nice?
I don't think so. I've worked hard to get to where I am now and although I realize one meal isn't going to kill me, it's still my body and I don't HAVE to eat that junk. Even though I still eat SOME of it just so I don't appear to be a stuck-up *b*. Because I'm NOT a stuck-up *b*. I just don't think I should have to eat that kind of stuff when I'm not comfortable eating it just to appease someone else's feelings.
And to add, I don't mean to offend anyone by trimming fats from foods and that kind of thing, but I just can't eat that stuff. Because I USED to eat that stuff all the time. And I don't feel I should have to now.
I mean, at least I don't walk in the door taking all of my own food. Because I feel that WOULD be insulting. I simply try to quietly and indiscreetly 'arrange' the food they cook so it's not so - what's the word I'm looking for here - detrimental to my personal lifestyle.
Wow, LLV, you have lost so much weight!!! Good for you!!!
I'm sure you know that they are not going to change. They just aren't going to fix one healthy meal. Sigh........ Can you simply not go? Can you go and simply eat really small portions? Remember, they are not going to change, but you are the one in control of your fork. They won't change to make you feel better, and you shouldn't change to make them feel better, either.
Gosh, take it one forkful at a time, I guess. Hang in there, you are a real hero!
And yeah, I almost didn't go yesterday. But felt I should because there's a new baby in the family, just born last week, and I wanted to at least see him. Luckily, this time, there was salad available. So I filled up on a big salad and only had a tiny bit of the main course. But the table was laden with chips, cheesecakes, chocolate muffins, ice cream, chili, spaghetti with 10,000 sticks of butter in it, cheese and butter-drenched bread...
LLV
I haven't posted in a while but this post got my attention.
I totally understand where you're coming from and I understand the anger. I also don't think you're being rude by not wanting to eat what's available. I don't get it, either. I hate having food pushed on me or comments made to me. Makes me really wish I had never been heavy in the first place. Then maybe nobody would even notice what I'm eating/not eating. I have NO problem saying no to the junk. I don't even want it. But I still feel funny saying no. I know I shouldn't, but I do. And that makes gatherings hard. It's not the temptation, because if I REALLY want something, I will have a little of it. It's all the funny feelings around the whole situation. I hope to be able to maintain my weight loss, and hopefully, maybe a couple of years from now, everybody will be used to it and just not even notice. Oh, how I hope for that day.
Gosh, I had 3 opportunities already today at work to feel funny and it's only 10:39 in the morning. Somebody brought fudge from vacation and it was offered to me (I was eating a yummy granola bar at the time mmmm) and there's a going away party for someone I don't even know (heard the person running it say that the cake looks delicious-like we should eat cake just because it's there) and had the last of the doughnuts offered to me (waste of calories on junk that isn't even worth it). I don't even want any of it, but I get the weird feeling (probably just paranoia, but who knows) that people are just LOOKING to see what I do, and just waiting for me to gain all my 90+ pounds back.
So I completely understand your anger. I can see it in your writing. I feel that way about restaurants. I can't see what they're putting into the food. Must be copious amounts of junk and all kinds of fat and stuff. That's fine-so then serve a smaller portion! I hate having to leave it all behind. I don't want to wrap it up and take it home, and my SO wants to lose weight, so I shouldn't be pushing it on him.
I know I kind of veered off topic, but I just want you to know I understand everything you said in your post. It's kind of like we'd have NO problem losing/maintaining our weight on our own if everybody else would just shut up and cooperate! LOL
I mean sheesh, can't they fix at least ONE healthy meal? Why does everything have to be deep-fried or drowned in butter? Do you or does anyone else expect me to put that junk into my body just to be nice?
Of course you shouldn't eat what you don't want to eat and, if your family were polite, they wouldn't comment on that fact. However, it's unlikely they're going to change the way they eat and cook and I think expecting them to do so is unrealistic and unfair. In a lot of our families WE are the only ones who've changed our eating habits, habits we used to share and enjoy with the same family we're now complaining about.
The real world is full of events that involve food we might not normally eat. Everyone has to make their own decision about how to handle it. I choose to be flexible .
I decided when I started not to give a flying **** what other people think about what I eat. And I still don't.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glory87
I would be greatly tempted to run my hands down my size 6 pants and say "you can't wear this, can you."
Woohoo! Glory, I love it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by card
Thank you mom, I love you.
Too cool! That is an awesomely supportive parent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LLV
And yes, maybe they do resent me a little for leaving them all behind.
Don't look at it as leaving them all behind, but look at it as leading the way.
And I find it interesting that nobody would question you if you were on a medical dietary restriction (diabetes, or allergic to eggs, or something). They'd even be supportive. But, since it's weight and many of them have the same affliction as you once had, it sounds like a whole lotta denial going on.
LLV
I haven't posted in a while but this post got my attention.
I totally understand where you're coming from and I understand the anger. I also don't think you're being rude by not wanting to eat what's available. I don't get it, either. I hate having food pushed on me or comments made to me. Makes me really wish I had never been heavy in the first place.
Me too becuase now people really pay attention to what I'm eating. But then I'm the same way, I pay attention to what others are eating as opposed to what I eat. I never noticed before what others were eating until I started eating healthier myself.
The real world is full of events that involve food we might not normally eat. Everyone has to make their own decision about how to handle it. I choose to be flexible .
I try to be, really I do! lol
It wouldn't be so bad if it were only once or twice a year. And yes, I fully know what to expect on holidays such as Thanksgiving. That's one holiday I love and I go ahead and eat what I want. No way am I going to sit picking at a piece of plain white turkey and a small baked sweet potato while everyone else is chowing down on turkey with gravy and dressing and mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie. But then it's still never really a HUGE amount of food because I can't eat as much in one sitting anymore anyway.
But these people find and make excuses to get together for their pot lucks and I hate being rude and saying I'm not going to go.
Ahh well, don't mind me, it was just a rant. It's not something I take too awful seriously, just felt like spouting off and no one will listen except you guys
And I find it interesting that nobody would question you if you were on a medical dietary restriction (diabetes, or allergic to eggs, or something). They'd even be supportive. But, since it's weight and many of them have the same affliction as you once had, it sounds like a whole lotta denial going on.
Well, I HAVE been somewhat of an influence. Although I never push my 'knowledge' off on anyone unless they ask me directly (meaning I don't preach to anyone about their eating habits, nobody wants to hear it anyway) me losing weight has caused a couple of them to start eating healthier themselves. My sis-in-law even tried it herself and lost 32 pounds (she's over 250), but she's since put it all back on because she gave up and she's right back to eating the way she was before. And believe me, I've been there 100,000 times, I know how hard it is. Until I finally figured it out that I have to watch and count my calories instead of just trying to eat less and hoping the weight comes off. That may work for some people, but it doesn't work for me. If I'm not accountable for everything I eat, I slip way too easily back into old habits.
