[Optical Goddess]

I have no idea where to post this, but I also don't know anyone else to pose this question to:

I am not a confident person, and this is intertwined with my self esteem. How does one become confident? it's not thaht I think I'm horrible and an evil person, but I have trouble standing up for myself and believing that I may know something to teach other people. I end up with a lot of doubts about my abilities with my job,ect.

One of my friends said to fake it 'til I make it, by acting confident and tellling myself what I want to believe and then eventually i will believe it.

I'm sure I am not the only one around with wavering confidence. What has anyone else done? -- before anyone suggests counseling, I am working on that, but with medical issue and monetary issues, it's not practical at this time.

thanks

[TamiL]

Look at how far you've come, that alone should provide you with some confidence in yourself and your abilities. Find something you want to achieve and go for it. Tell yourself you are worthy, you deserve it!!

I understand where you are coming from. I have been at home with my kids now for over 5 years and I really wanted to return to the workforce but I couldn't bring myself to go out in public and put myself out there. In April I finally came to the realization that my weight is what was holding me back. I didn't look good in my clothes, I felt like a slob who had nothing to offer. Since then I have lost 41 pounds (still some to go, LOL), started fixing my hair up a bit and actually bought some makeup (gave this up 5 years ago). I've also reassessed my resume and skills. Its amazing what I've done in the past without a college degree. I found out that yes, I did, have something to offer a potential employer. Last week I was offered the first job I applied for. Granted its only part time by my choosing but atleast I know I can do this again!! Even if this job doesn't work out in the long term, I have my confidence back...

[tipsygypsy]

I think your friend has it right. I have met several people who seemed confident--almost cocky--at first, but once I got to know them and they began to trust me, their own insecurities began surfacing in our conversations. Turns out they were "faking it til they made it", too. So while it worked for them in that they felt strong most of the time, I don't think anyone is 100% confident, 100% of the time. Even Angelina and Brad.

It may help you to make a list of things you're proud of, or things you like about yourself. Make them into a sort of mantra, to repeat to yourself when you start feeling insecure. It's worked for me.

Hope this helped! *hug*

[Erith5447]

You know, they always say that the people who appear the most confidant are the ones who have the lowest self esteem. So when you see people you want to be like, you know, out going, friendly, etc, chances are, they are struggling just as hard as you