Hey guys! I've been away for awhile but I thought I'd pose this question.
I KNOW there is no shortcut to losing weight and I don't really want one. What I want, though, is a way to jumpstart my motivation.
See, I keep starting to eat better and then I go out in public, feel like a social outcast and then return home and start eating. I'm out of work right now, so I stay pretty isolated. Isolation works VERY well when I'm doing well and is awful when I'm feeling ashamed. When I go out in public I just feel so hopeless and like an eyesore and I come home exhausted and defeated.
The times I have "started a new way of life" and kicked my addicitve spiral in the past I have been lucky enough to cut myself off from "regular life" for awhile. Once, I moved in with my mom and didn't tell anyone where I was going (lost 50 pounds) and once I went to fat camp (lost 50 pounds and continued to lose over 100). Right now I am getting to a really bad point with my eating and am so fat that none of the clothes at even Lane Bryant fit me.
My therapist asked me today if I'm aware that I'm making a decision to live like this and wondered if I "choose life" and I honestly had to tell her I don't know. Sometimes I get chest pains and I actually get happy. I think to myself - it'll be easier to "kill myself" with my eating. I'm not suicidal or anything, but I'm having a really hard time choosing life when I feel so crappy about myself.
So, I'm thinking, okay, if I want to do this, maybe I need to do what I've done in the past. Not runaway, but go away, and hide and work only on getting healthy. I know it'll probably be expensive, but, I suppose it may be worth the money.
Anyway, I know some people may not agree with this plan. I know some people may think I'm running away. Heck, maybe I am. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do. But I want to know if any of you have done something like this. Have you gone anywhere for a few months and had luck? Do you know anyone who did? Any ideas? Any thoughts or opinions would be helpful. Thanks.