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I need something drastic!

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Old 06-20-2006, 10:21 PM   #1
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Default I need something drastic!

Hey guys! I've been away for awhile but I thought I'd pose this question.
I KNOW there is no shortcut to losing weight and I don't really want one. What I want, though, is a way to jumpstart my motivation.

See, I keep starting to eat better and then I go out in public, feel like a social outcast and then return home and start eating. I'm out of work right now, so I stay pretty isolated. Isolation works VERY well when I'm doing well and is awful when I'm feeling ashamed. When I go out in public I just feel so hopeless and like an eyesore and I come home exhausted and defeated.

The times I have "started a new way of life" and kicked my addicitve spiral in the past I have been lucky enough to cut myself off from "regular life" for awhile. Once, I moved in with my mom and didn't tell anyone where I was going (lost 50 pounds) and once I went to fat camp (lost 50 pounds and continued to lose over 100). Right now I am getting to a really bad point with my eating and am so fat that none of the clothes at even Lane Bryant fit me.

My therapist asked me today if I'm aware that I'm making a decision to live like this and wondered if I "choose life" and I honestly had to tell her I don't know. Sometimes I get chest pains and I actually get happy. I think to myself - it'll be easier to "kill myself" with my eating. I'm not suicidal or anything, but I'm having a really hard time choosing life when I feel so crappy about myself.

So, I'm thinking, okay, if I want to do this, maybe I need to do what I've done in the past. Not runaway, but go away, and hide and work only on getting healthy. I know it'll probably be expensive, but, I suppose it may be worth the money.

Anyway, I know some people may not agree with this plan. I know some people may think I'm running away. Heck, maybe I am. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do. But I want to know if any of you have done something like this. Have you gone anywhere for a few months and had luck? Do you know anyone who did? Any ideas? Any thoughts or opinions would be helpful. Thanks.
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Old 06-20-2006, 10:37 PM   #2
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I'm up for answers, too.
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Old 06-20-2006, 10:44 PM   #3
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I've never gone away for more than a week at a time but probably would have if I'd ever been given the opportunity. Like you, I find focusing on weight loss and making healthy choices much easier when it is the only thing I have to worry about. Which, for me, comes pretty close to getting to the heart of the matter. It isn't that I ever desired running away - I have a wonderful life. But, I would tend to feel guilty if I paid too much attention to myself. It wasn't so much that I didn't feel I deserved to be healthy (although I admittedly didn't feel great about myself at my highest weight), I just didn't think taking care of myelf should be at the expense of my family, friends, or career. Going away to lose weight seemed appealing because my absence would make it understood I wouldn't be responsible for anyone else during that time without me actually having to admit that I wanted to put myself first for a while. Does that make sense?

Anyway, as it turns out, my family and friends WANT me to put myself first most of the time. I'm a much better wife, mother, and friend when I am fit and healthy. And I'm in a much better mood too. What is the old saying? "If Momma ain't happy, NOBODY is happy."

Now, with that said, I still take a week's sabbatical every now and then. And it is awesome not having to think of anyone but myself. Even with three children, I'd probably still take a month off if I had the chance (of course, that is easy to say because I know my having the chance is slim to none until the are much older. LOL). But I wouldn't be doing it now with the same desperate spirit that I had before when I felt like if I could just escape my responsiblities without any guilt everything would be easier. And I do mean that I thought EVERYTHING would have been easier. My weight was really just a symptom of feeling overwhelmed all the way around.
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Old 06-20-2006, 11:09 PM   #4
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One thing I use for motivation is I look up the health risks for being overweight...then think of the hospital bills and stress of that. Then I think of how that can be avoided. And then I go to the gym
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Old 06-20-2006, 11:47 PM   #5
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I am a college professor. Contrary to popular opinion, we don't have summers "off" but the schedule is a lot less hectic. Last summer, I started to take control of my eating habits. I do think it was easier to do with a few less balls to juggle. I didn't have as many invitations to lunch unless I went looking for them, I had more time to shop healthy, plan healthy meals, etc... a little like your getting away.

I don't think it's a bad idea per se. The thing I was worried about was how was I going to do when it came time to "re-enter" the world in the fall. As you've experienced, losing the weight while "away" isn't the problem -- keeping it off afterward is! I thought I might fall on my face. I didn't, and I can't point to exactly why -- maybe because I set up some plans to make it doable for myself along the way? Maybe because I didn't completely go away? Maybe because I took baby steps the whole way?

Anyway, I guess I'm wondering if you need to get away or if baby steps would do it for you... OR, if you do go away, make a solid plan for what to do when you get back.

Just some random thoughts...
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