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Old 05-31-2006, 11:18 PM   #1  
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There is no one here to talk to right now and this is driving me nuts so I'm sorry but I need to get this off my chest...

well I'm living with my boyfriend and his parents right now, and as some may know b/c ive posted about this before they don't exactly eat all that healthy here or buy alot of healthy food (or alot of food period) actually this is the worst it has ever been, my bf's parents havn't bought groceries in about 2 months, there isn't much left to eat...yet they want us both to pay $50/wk to live here....pathetic...anyway that's not the point....my bf and I went out and bought some groceries yesterday, mostly a few healthy things for me to eat b/c I really want to get serious about losing weight, it has been too long of trying and giving up constantly over and over again, I've had an exercise bike for 6 months and I havn't lost a pound b/c I'll use it for a week and then give up...anyway...I really want to get serious this time and actually lose this weight for good before I end up being 300lbs...

so we bought some grapes, strawberries, whole wheat bread (i ran out and i've been eating normal white bread for about 2 weeks for breakfast and actually got sick of it and craved whole wheat) we bought some other things too...anyway we bought one pound of strawberries in those plastic containers, and I had 4 this morning with a bit of light whip cream, and then I go downstairs tonight to go to the bathroom and what do I see sitting on the counter about HALF empty? MY STRAWBERRIES!!!!

my bf's parents are all like 'if its in the house its for everyone' but we KNOW they hide stuff in their room and living room, but when we put stuff up in our room we get in trouble and called selfish and ignorant. Well were TIRED of groceries never being done and when we spend money on food for ourselves they eat it...

I am just so sick of it, and it made me really mad, why do I even try!!? We spend what little amount of money we have on some food for us (well mostly me but my bf doesn't really care what he eats and he is trying to help me as much as he can to lose weight) it just makes me want to pop...

We asked to get our own fridge upstairs (so we could buy our own food and this wouldnt happen) but that isn't going to happen...apparently a fridge won't fit up here (yet they want to put a kitchen up here...WHEN they get around to finishing the rest of the upstairs) and they dont know where to plug it in (in all honesty putting a fridge up here would probably blow the breaker everyday...we cant even plug the vacuum in in our room, it has to be plugged in in the hallway in order not to blow the breaker...my bf's stepdad THINKS he knows everything about wiring a house *rolls eyes*)

Im sorry I just needed to vent..this and many other things drive me completly insane and it just makes me want to give up...
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Old 05-31-2006, 11:26 PM   #2  
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Whew!! It sounds like you have way more patience than I do. Can you afford to move out? It sounds like they aren't going to change, so you may be forced to accept it, or move out. OR offer to buy all the groceries in lieu of weekly payments? Then all of the food is healthy!?
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Old 05-31-2006, 11:46 PM   #3  
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We can't afford to move out unfortunatly...I'd LOVE too, I've been looking for a job but were living in a SMALL town, my bf just got a job 3 weeks ago, and we have no money saved up...were hoping to move out next summer if my bf stays at the place he is and if I can get a job and we can save up money, my bf and I have agreed that once we move we never want to speak to his parents...I dont even want to let the know when we marry or have kids (most people think that is much to harsh but were both getting so sick of them and how they treat us, it is ok for them to do something...but not us) and besides they would probably just be full of criticism...saying were "too young" my bf's sister is 25 and my bf's mom thinks she is too young to get married..I think it is her choice when she marries and her mom should be happy for her regardless. My bf got a credit card (and we have paid it off in full every single month since he got it) but we can't tell her b/c she won't allow it (he is 20!)

My bf pays his mom $200 every other week (she wanted more when my bf had a good paying job - $18.00/hr - and we thought that was pretty sad) she wants him to pay $50/wk for me since I don't have a job, and if I do get a job it will more than likely be part time since Im still doing school and $50/wk might be half my pay sometimes...

I dont think they would go for us buying the groceries...their WAY in debt so I think she is just being greedy trying to get more money to help pay their bills...I dont think my bf should pay anymore than his car insurance, half the internet (she tried to make him pay the whole bill when they use it as well) and maybe $50/mth room and board

We asked her once how much my bf's car insurance was and she gave us a price (b/c we wanted to move out, and we were making a budget) and when my bf got that good paying job the price of his car insurance suddenly doubled!!!

Also if we bought groceries, we wouldnt have control over what was bought...it would have to be stuff everyone liked...we've thought of that before...
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Old 06-01-2006, 12:04 AM   #4  
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I know a girl that lived with her parents until she was in her mid 20's basically because they wouldn't let her move out since they needed her financial help. She learned that she could afford to live on her own after all. She looked around and found an apartment that had utilities included. She was paying $600 a month for that, and bought her food on a tight budget. She didn't have much, but she had her freedom. It sounds like your boyfriend is paying that much right now. Maybe you can find a place before long. If not on your own, maybe with another roomate that has the same interests as you and your bf? Keep your chin up!
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Old 06-01-2006, 12:29 AM   #5  
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Yeah were actually thinking of getting my bf's friend Jeremy to move in with us when we do, we need to get money saved up though and I'd like my bf to actually be at his job for 6 months to a year so that we dont move and then get screwed b/c he gets fired or something... thanks for replying i just need to get it off my chest, it just made me feel like giving up, its so hard.
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Old 06-01-2006, 01:38 AM   #6  
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What about one of those smalle fridges you can get at walmart. You cant fit much in it...but it would be enough to keep little snacks.
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Old 06-01-2006, 12:50 PM   #7  
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we thought of that but dont have enough money to buy one at the moment..
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Old 06-02-2006, 01:10 AM   #8  
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Well let me say I've btdt. I lived with my husband's parents a few months before we were married and also for 3 whole years after we were married and my husband's co. downsized.

I totally understand what you mean. Its tough and your not going to change them, so don't even try. We had a small fridge downstairs where we were staying, then eventually they got a new fridge so we got their old one, which was a full size. I just say save for a small fridge so you can keep your food in it and maybe even think of purchasing a lock for it if you want.

I would do everything I could to get out though. I know easier said than done. Beleive me I know. But I would look in the paper, ask your friends, relatives, co workers, etc. Just keep actively looking, don't give up because you think you don't have enough money. You may get lucky and find an affordable place and maybe even someone to work with you.

But the main thing is Don't Give up! Don't let them win! Also we would go and stay with my parents for weekends to get away from them. I know that sounds like your robbing peter to pay paul, but anything to get away for a while. You have relatives? Friends? Anybody you can go for a visit to get out for a bit, DO IT.

Good Luck!

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Old 06-02-2006, 08:17 AM   #9  
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Well this won't be popular but $50 a week is extremely cheap rent, especially if he was making $18 an hour!! They could not possibly afford to also feed you for that small amount, especially if they are in debt and need the $$$. It sounds as if perhaps your boyfriend's parents think it is time for him to get a job and move out on his own. They are being very generous in allowing you both to live there for that small amount of rent. Just my opinion.
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Old 06-02-2006, 08:55 AM   #10  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Trixie14

My bf pays his mom $200 every other week
He's paying her $400 a month? For what? Do you have your own 'wing' of the house? Or are you basically living in a bedroom?

I agree with Misti, that $50 a month for one person is pretty cheap. But if your bf is already paying $400 a month, why not spend that $450 on a cheap apartment?

Find your job and once you get it and you've got money coming in, in addition to your bf's money, move out.
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Old 06-02-2006, 09:07 AM   #11  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Misti in Seattle
Well this won't be popular but $50 a week is extremely cheap rent, especially if he was making $18 an hour!! They could not possibly afford to also feed you for that small amount, especially if they are in debt and need the $$$. It sounds as if perhaps your boyfriend's parents think it is time for him to get a job and move out on his own. They are being very generous in allowing you both to live there for that small amount of rent. Just my opinion.

The $50 per week was just for her and her BF is also paying his mom $200 every two weeks. That is $600 per month and you can get a small apt for that much easily in a small town.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trixie14
My bf pays his mom $200 every other week (she wanted more when my bf had a good paying job - $18.00/hr - and we thought that was pretty sad) she wants him to pay $50/wk for me since I don't have a job, and if I do get a job it will more than likely be part time since Im still doing school and $50/wk might be half my pay sometimes...
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Old 06-02-2006, 09:13 AM   #12  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1TiredGradStudent
The $50 per week was just for her and her BF is also paying his mom $200 every two weeks. That is $600 per month and you can get a small apt for that much easily in a small town.
Oh! I read that wrong! She's going to be paying $50 a week. I thought it was $50 a month.

Heck yes, for that much money, move out and find your own place. No way would I pay $600 a month to live with my parents.
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Old 06-02-2006, 11:32 AM   #13  
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Have you guys looked around for apt even in not such a good area, I am not sure how much rent is where you live. I know you might be able to find something. THe other thing is call around find out how much insurance is. You could even ask your bf to call his insurance company and find out how much his is a year and then tell have him tell his parents that here is my monthly payment for my car insurance since it is only $xxx.xx a year.

Please don't take this the wrong way either but I am sure it is hard on them to have to extra people in there house as well.
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Old 06-02-2006, 12:11 PM   #14  
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Misti in Seattle - He isn't making $18/hr anymore, he got screwed around big time at that job, he wasn't even one week in and his mom came up to our room and that is when she said I have to start paying $50/wk and if can't he has to pay for me, and that is when the price of his car insurance suddenly doubled and she tried to get him to pay for the entire internet cost.

azul - We have called his insurance company in the past and asked how much his insurance was for the car, got a price, and his mom told us it was wrong b/c he gave us the wrong price...when I told the guy I wanted to know how much my bf's car insurance would be if he got the car in his name and on his own plan, not under his moms anymore. Then she gave us what she said was the correct price, and we were budgeting with that b/c we were planning on moving then, and then like I said a couple months ago when he had the good paying job, it doubled for some reason...

LLV - No we dont have our own wing, hardly! lol Were upstairs in one bedroom, it is unfinished, just like the whole upstairs is. We have no door, the trim around the floor isn't finished, the trim around the windows isn't finished, there is no pole in the closet for us to hang up our clothes, and their is no door on the closet, in the winter we use a baseboard heater to keep warm and get *****ed at CONSTANTLY b/c they think we have it up to high but were still freezing. There is supposed to be another bedroom, a living room and a bathroom up here, but their all unfinished, no drywall (insulation just hanging out) we had to put old carpets down all the way to our bedroom as to not get our feet covered in dust and crap...They pretty much got just our room done in about a week, enough so it was livable, so they could have the room we had downstairs b/c they were in the living room, and my bf's stepdads family were coming for xmas and they wanted their room out of the living room for when they came...then they just forgot about us.

So yes my bf pays his mom $400/mth and he is expected to pay another $200 for me since I dont have a job right now, but he isn't. and when I get a job Im not paying $50/wk either.

Rent in the small town where I am now, where my bfs parents moved to about a year ago and bought this ugly house when they were already in debt is anywhere from $300-$500/mth sometimes plus utilities sometimes they are included, in the town we used to live in, which I would rather live in b/c there are more jobs and more to do there is about $400 (if your lucky, usually only bachelor apartments are that much) to about $600/mth, again sometimes with sometimes without utilities included, we want a place utilties included though. We need to save up first and last months rent though, plus we need some things like furniture, kitchen stuff etc. but we plan on buying alot of stuff at the dollar store. and we need to save money for our first groceries...
oh! and here is the bad part..in order for my bf to get the car insurance switched he has to pay like $500, so were thinking of putting the car in my name when I get my G2 in September b/c it will be cheaper and I might not have to pay that $500 if I remember correctly...lol
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Old 06-02-2006, 01:25 PM   #15  
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darling, i'm living poor but i can still manage around 15 bucks per week (for myself). I suggest you and your bf move out- i live in a basement apartment for 500 bucks per month (no utilitlies) but its more convenient for weight management.
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