There is a friend of our friends that makes me very uncomfortable. He constantly is brushing up against me, or touching me or staring at my chest. I finally told my hubby that he makes me uncomfortable but I thought he had blew me off. I weigh over 200 lbs and the guy doesn't treat the strikingly beautiful size "0" friend of the couple we have in common the same way. I was molested when I was young so I sometimes question myself when it comes to situations like this. I had a boss that was very touchy feely but I felt totally comfortable with him because the "looks" weren't there so it's not that I feel the same way in every situation. The last time we went the same thing went on but this time hubby was apparently aware of it and was watching and he said that it was not my imagination, but he said nothing while we were there because of our mutual friends. Hubby did stay close while he was around so it wasn't as bad and I really don't want hubby to do anything drastic--my hubby is 6'2' and 245 lbs and has a very bad temper when provoked and this guy is maybe 5'8' 160lbs (?). I try to avoid this guy as much as possible--should I confront him?--he has not said anything directly at this point.
I am a bit surprised your husband won't say anything... but with his hot temper that is probably best. But if HE won't I certainly would!! Friend of a friend or no... if someone is touching you inappropriately I would politely tell him to please be more careful. If polite doesn't work... THEN become more direct.
I would definitely confront him if he makes you feel uncomfortable. I would not tolerate ANY man, other than dh, "constantly brushing up against me, or touching me or staring at my chest".
You have the right to expect men to treat you with respect! You can either directly tell this dirtbag to keep his grubby paws OFF of you or you can be a bit less direct. Tell him, "You know, my husband has such a bad temper he pummeled the last guy who groped me. I'd hate to see him put you in the hospital too". Or you could just simply say, "I don't feel comfortable with your behavior. Don't touch me or brush up against me again".
As far as staring goes, well, that is more difficult. It is sooooo rude and crude but many men will simply deny that they are staring if confronted. What I have done, when a man stares at my chest, is crouch down until my eyes are at their eye level, wave my hand and say, "hello, I'm up here!" Some men will get embarassed and others will just laugh but most will quit their offensive staring.
As far as staring goes, well, that is more difficult. It is sooooo rude and crude but many men will simply deny that they are staring if confronted. What I have done, when a man stares at my chest, is crouch down until my eyes are at their eye level, wave my hand and say, "hello, I'm up here!" Some men will get embarassed and others will just laugh but most will quit their offensive staring.
LOL yes staring is more difficult to handle... but I love your approach. And I DO think polite but direct is the best way to handle it... LOVE your approach.
I am a bit surprised your husband won't say anything... but with his hot temper that is probably best. But if HE won't I certainly would!! Friend of a friend or no... if someone is touching you inappropriately I would politely tell him to please be more careful. If polite doesn't work... THEN become more direct.
Misti--he hasn't actually touched me in any appropriate places that I could call him out on--it's very subtle, brushing by a little to close things like that, which is why I doubt myself and wonder if I am overreacting sometimes, but since my husband has seen it too I know it's not just me. My husband has not said anything, but it's kinda funny how he reacted. Hubby is not one to kiss me in public or hold my hand, but thinking back that day he was beside me with his arm around me.
Jules,
As far as staring goes, well, that is more difficult. It is sooooo rude and crude but many men will simply deny that they are staring if confronted. What I have done, when a man stares at my chest, is crouch down until my eyes are at their eye level, wave my hand and say, "hello, I'm up here!" Some men will get embarassed and others will just laugh but most will quit their offensive staring.
PLEASE stand up for yourself! You deserve it!
That is too funny. I am usually not a very confrontational person unless backed into a corner, but I want to try this approach!! Maybe doing it in such way, will let him know that I am aware of it and if it is pointed out maybe he will stop.
Misti--he hasn't actually touched me in any appropriate places that I could call him out on--it's very subtle, brushing by a little to close things like that
Well I guess I call brushing too close (if he is against you) as inappropriate touching. Your first post said he brushed up against you... that IS inappropriate touching!! BUT even if he hasn't you could talk to him politely and tell him he is making you uncomfortable. On the slight chance that it is unintentional he will apologize and stop. If it is intentional... which sounds as if it is... it will still likely make him stop.
But I agree... Zelma's approach is GREAT!!! That ought to make him think twice before he does this next time!!
I would not put up with it... but just my opinion.
Well I guess I call brushing too close (if he is against you) as inappropriate touching. Your first post said he brushed up against you... that IS inappropriate touching!! BUT even if he hasn't you could talk to him politely and tell him he is making you uncomfortable. On the slight chance that it is unintentional he will apologize and stop. If it is intentional... which sounds as if it is... it will still likely make him stop.
But I agree... Zelma's approach is GREAT!!! That ought to make him think twice before he does this next time!!
I would not put up with it... but just my opinion.
I will stand up for myself and say something the next time.
Friend of Friends
and others will just laugh but most will quit their offensive staring. 
