I've been on this new "lifestyle" path since January 10, 2006. I was doing really well up until the beginning of April. I had lost 20 lbs and went from a size plus size 18/20 to a misses size 16. I had changed my thinking on food and was meeting my goals of being healthy and getting in better shape. I was feeling good. But then things have gone down hill since then.
I'm about to the point where I just want to give up. I know I can't eat the way I used to, and don't want to. I really don't. Not eating sweets all day anyway. I know I can't eat like that anymore and am trying to deal with that. But I really don't want to feel like I have to "diet" for the rest of my life. It no longer feels like a lifestyle change like it did before. I have been atleast trying to look at it like it's just a temporary restriction while I lose weight and then I can find a happy medium between eating healthy and enjoying sweets again, so I can stick with it. But sometimes I get to a point where I just can't take it anymore. I think I hit that point at about the beginning of April. I started getting lax in what I ate. My calories started going up (not by a whole lot, but by some). I drifted off from working out every day. I have pretty much stopped strength training. It's like my steam to press on is running out.
I thought maybe I just needed a kick in the butt or to follow another direction. I thought maybe it was the fact that I was sick of counting calories and needed that change. So I read up about the Sonoma diet and it sounded good. No counting anything, just eating healthy and watching portions. But so far this week it's sucked. Dinners taste awful (not my taste). Breakfast isn't filling. My attitude about working out hasn't changed so I'm just a lazy log again. I'm at least trying to get some activity in by playing DDR with hubby. All this and all I really want to do is eat what I want when I want it. Yes I want cake, but I also want cheese, pasta, and enchilladas again. I just want to cry thinking that these things aren't going to be a part of my life anymore. Yes, it's just food, but to me food has alway been important to me. (I'm even planning on going to culinary school soon.) I want homemade cookies, homemade mac & cheese, pb rice krispie treats, and spaghetti with meatsauce. I don't know what to do. My head is telling me to be healthy and get into shape. But my heart is begging for it all to stop.
It's getting to the point where I just want to cry because I know this will be a lifelong struggle. (I've been overweight since 3rd grade. I'm currently 30.) Do you think if I ate healthy (lean meats, lots of veggies, grains) for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but ate whatever I wanted for snack times it would be ok? Obviously I would have to go back to exercising hard and doing strength training. Maybe even going back to eating whatever I wanted, but limiting my portions to be within a good calorie range. I really want to lose weight and look good, but I also don't want to torture myself anymore to get there. I know it's hard work, but I don't think I want to give up some things that I have anymore. I'm willing to work hard on the exercise so I can eat yummy things again.
Maybe it's a fear of being thinner. I've never been smaller than a 14 in my teen/adult life. I'm just one size away from that now. Actually if I could get down to a size 12 I would be happy to stay there. As far as my weight goes... I really don't care at this point. I feel like I've stayed in the same range for 2 months now and have gotten used to it. Maybe subconciously I don't want to be thinner so I'm sabotaging myself.
So my questions to you all are these...
How do you cope with wanting to quit?
Have you ever felt scared of getting smaller?
What do YOU feel is the best way to change your eating habits? Just change everything and deal with it (like going cold turkey), or just adjusting the portions of food and adding in more veggies to the normal way you eat?
I think I'm having a really bad day... or week anyway.
You have been in this exactly one month longer then me and I know that it is not easy. It took me 5 weeks of my new ways to even see a drop in the scale. And now it has been 20 days and I have barently seen a drop again. I am getting worrid. It seems like I am trying so hard and just nothing is happening. I haven't even lost any inches in the past month. I have changed my exercise, my eating, how much water, etc, etc. Sure sometimes I want to give up but I can't bring myself to do it. I want this more then anything in the world.
I took think I can have a happy medium and I will work for that. One thing I find nice is a day with no counting - eat whatever you want (of course within reason, dont eat enough to last you all week) - and dont regret it. Treat yourself for working hard. NOW it you slip during the week I don't allow myself that treat day and I only take it if I really need it.
I can't and will not quit. One thing I have that keeps me going is my mom. She woke up one morning, called the rehab center and said I don't want to drink anymore. Two weeks later she was checked into rehab and hasn't looked back since. Tonight I will go see her take her one year cake. (I have brought this up a few places today, sorry just SOOOO PROUD OF HER!)
Drinking is addictive. So is food. If she can stop drining I can loss weight.
In terms of changing my eating habits - I never ate THAT bad. I have cut out fast food and carbs. I was a carb queen, toast for breakfast, sandwitch for lunch and pasta for dinner. I try and keep it down to one meal a day now. If I have toast for breakfast I stay away for the rest of the day (of course not from fruit and veggies). I try and eat at least 1 piece of fruit a day and lots of veggies.
I am having a really bad week as well. Only becaues I feel like I am doing everything right and getting nothing in return. My time will come tho as will yours.
I feel awesome, so much better (except my tummy is sore right now and I dont wanna eat even tho I am hungry) - my skin LOOKS amazing! (drink your water girlies) and I dont feel so fat even tho I am. When I look at a skinny girl and think, man I am so fat I just think to myself "not for much longer".
I too worry about being skinny and what I will look like. I think I have a nice body - evenly proportation - kinda hour glass is - beautiful boobies! I worry I wont look nice skinny but I will feel nice and wont be at risk for all the things that come from being fat.
Oh, Brandi! This is scary . I mean, how on Earth did you get into my head and snatch out all the exact same thoughts? Even the dateline is just about the same (starting beginning of January, losing just about 20 pounds, running out of steam beginning of April)...
I hear you, dear. Sadly, I'm seriously pressed for time right now, but I hope to back later tonight to post more. In the meantime, know that you are most certainly NOT alone. Not in your feelings and not in the struggle.
We've both got to figure out how to deal with it, eh?
hang in there Brandi you can do it. i am looking at most likely two years of this way of life and am really starting to enjoy it. i started on March 10th of this year.it can be tough but i look at all these wonderful people on here and want to be like them too1
You are definitely not alone. I have wanted to quit so many times because it just didn't seem worth it and was too much trouble and effort.
As background about my experience, at the end of August 2005 I was 182 pounds. Despite regular exercise and watching what I ate, I gradually gained 4 pounds and was 186 by mid-October. I was ready to quit then but found 3FC and tried some different things with eating and exercise. I gradually dropped to 179 by the end of December. In January and February, I lost about 1 pound per week. My weight loss slowed considerably in March and April and I am about 167 now. I've lost inches and am now in a comfortable size 12.
Even now I want to quit at times. Working out for 60-90 minutes a day, 6 days a week is a large time investment. Planning, shopping, and cooking healthy meals from whole foods takes time. I know I will need to maintain this activity level and way of eating forever, otherwise the weight will come back. I know, because I successfully lost weight in 1998-1999 but didn't know how to maintain and it all came back plus 15-20 extra pounds.
So how do I cope? I focus on health. I had made peace with my body size and believed I was destined to be fat. But a visit to the doctor showed creeping blood pressure and cholesterol. Truthfully, that scared me and was the reason for the lifestyle change; any incidental weight loss would just be a bonus. Now my levels are in the low-normal range, thankfully.
So why not quit now? In my professional life I never back down from a challenge or a tough problem. I decided to approach this in a similar manner. This was truly a new way of thinking for me and I am still getting used to approaching self-care and weight loss in the same way that I approach other things. I also had to decide that my health and appearance are more important to me than eating what I want, when I want. This is taking time and I still wrestle with it. And I still eat cake and ice cream etc. every now and then (hmmm... could be why the weight loss is so slow). At this point, I guess it's vanity; I want to look good. Also, I gave myself a challenge and do not want to say I failed.
Even though you've been at this since January, it's still new. Heck, it's still new to me and I've been at it since September. I feel overwhelmed at times. And sometimes it seems like my life will be no fun. But you know what? It's not really so terrible. I sure don't miss eating fast food every day. And when I go to a birthday party or whatever, I am quite happy with a small piece of cake. At times, I feel like I have struck that balance and maybe I can do this forever. It takes time and some days are better than others.
I'm sure you'll get some great advice. And there is wonderful information all over this site. But you need to do what works for you. And it may take some time to figure it out. And you must rely on determination to see you through; motivation is not enough because it comes and goes. Some people must go "cold turkey." Others, such as myself, need to make changes gradually.
Boy was I having a bad day. Sometimes I just get so wrapped up into how I'm eating that it's depressing. I have good days and bad and really bad like yesterday. I talked to hubby alot about it last night. That and knowing I'm not alone in feeling like this sometimes helped me alot.
Thanks for all your replies. I'm not sure exactly how to handle it the next time it comes up, but at least I'll know it's normal.
Hey, I'm really glad to hear you pulled out of it! Whew! Yes, it's hard to follow a weight loss program. Yes, you have a long way to go.
But there is no such thing as never eating an enchilada again. The time will come when you can eat one. You just won't be able to eat enchiladas every day, or every other day, or more than, say, once a week.
Besides, it is ONLY an enchilada! It is not life itself, it is not the end of the world if you don't get to have one.
Tell yourself that it's just for now--just for today. And stick with that.
I'm there with you, too, Bran. I have been feeling tired and whiney and lazy for the past couple of weeks. I got a bit depressed for a while... I guess we all go through cycles like that.
But anyway... I am not losing weight at an incredibly fast rate (I average a pound a week), but so far, as long as I keep up with my exercise properly, I haven't had to give up my favorite foods completely. I can't have them as often as I used to, but I still have a pizza about once a month and, actually, we go out for Chinese food (my favorite) almost every weekend. I also make some killer homemade enchiladas and I still make those about every other week (instead of every week)... But I absolutely have to exercise more if I eat like that, and it's a trade off I have so far been willing to make. Well, until lately that is... hmmm... something about April...
On a good note, today I have shown some definite improvement in my mood and seem to have gotten my boogie back... yay!! Here's hoping you keep your boogie going too!
Lala and Lena - I actually did boogie today. I strapped on my HRM and danced for an hour and a half this afternoon. I burned around 465 calories doing that and it was fun. I worked up quite the sweat too.
ChefBran,
I know so well how you feel. I had lost 35 lbs. on South Beach and have managed to gain back all but 4 lbs. I'm a compulsive overeater and I don't know how to break the on again/off again diet cycle. From what I read and hear the real way to break it is to permanently eat healthy foods and stop thinking of it as a diet or deprivation but to accept it 100% as the way to live and eat. Thin people do not seem to be conflicted about food at all. I wish I had what they have - because it isn't really will power, it's something naturally present in their psyches that prevents them from overeating - it's just not in their nature. Sugar is my number one downfall. Number two is lack of exercise, three is I don't drink enough water and four is I never get enough sleep. Add five, a ridiculously stressful schedule, and my belly is bigger than the fattest fireman in my town. I'm really sick of it and very down on myself too. I hear your feelings so personally. Maybe we can help each other. Anyway I want to lose the weight to attend a cousin's wedding in November. I've been single for about 6 years. I figure if I can manage to feel good about how I look starting with that wedding, which will be massive and a great opportunity to meet new people, maybe then the effort I put in will stick this time. The food we eat is never worth this misery, except when we're putting it in our mouths - but that takes just a few minutes. I'm sick of sacrificing all the rest of my hours and days for only moments of pleasure. High cost in every way.
Thanks for your honesty, you really brought some things to light for me. I am brand new to this forum thing so excuse me if I did anything wrong in this post. Good luck, hope you get your energy back!
Me again, I didn't read all the posts and now I see you were able to get back on your feet, awesome. Sorry for the late post. Like I said, new at this.
Brandi i know how you feel big time. i definitely have days i want to give up and even on the days i don't there are minutes or hours most days when i think what's the point.
as for the food. i don't like the idea of never being able to eat certain foods again. i know some people eliminate sugar white flour etc. i just don't want that sort of life... ever
i lost 22# and since then have been about the same weight for a year. it's about permanent lifestyle changes - i'm still working on it
Making a permanent lifestyle change is easier said than done sometimes. Some days I'm happy with eating healthy and eating clean. Other days I'm just so upset about not being normal. I think it's about that for me and not necessarily the food. I was raised around food. Every family gathering was centered around a dinner. I even have this skinny cousin who can eat 3 big plates full of food and not even think about it. It helps that he's a guy, but even my husband is impressed with how he can pack it in.
But I read a post in the maintenance forum yesterday that makes me see how pathetic I'm being. It was about a man who lost his arms. He didn't sit around feeling bad about it. He learned how to use his artificial arms and dealt with it. He took the cards he was dealt with and found out how to live with it. Here I am sitting here whinning about how I can't eat fattening foods anymore. I still enjoy my food now, so what am I complaining about?
The glass is half full NOT half empty. I just need to remind myself of all this on those bad days. I'm by no means perfect. I think I proved that with the first post. I just want to share my thought process on how I'm trying to make that permanent lifestyle change in my head. It's definately not easy and I admire those that don't have as big a problem with it.
I'll get off my now.
Thanks for listening. You all are wonderful to help and support me.
Last night I overate, and I just about said, what the heck, and splurged on pie. But I didn't. The reason I didn't was because I knew that people on this forum who didn't even know me were pulling for me, and I felt so many positive thoughts that I just decided to use them for my strength. Even when the struggle is there remember we are all HERE!
Head wants to diet, Heart doesn't
. I mean, how on Earth did you get into my head and snatch out all the exact same thoughts? Even the dateline is just about the same (starting beginning of January, losing just about 20 pounds, running out of steam beginning of April)...
Let's boogie!
now.
