3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Support Forum > Weight Loss Support

Weight Loss Support Give and get support here!

I'm feeling like I can't do this.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 02-12-2006, 12:51 PM   #1
takin it one lb at a time
 
x0xmelissax0x's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Washington
Posts: 125

Unhappy I'm feeling like I can't do this.

I'm feeling really down right now. I gained alot of weight due to depression (about 50 lbs) I gained it really fast, so now I have stretch marks all over my arms, stomach, hips, breasts, legs, and behind my knees. I feel like.. I know I'll never have the beautiful body that I want, why should I even try?

Any support would be much appreciated.
__________________
Overall Goal:


I'm going lose it all... taking it 1 lb at a time
x0xmelissax0x is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2006, 12:58 PM   #2
Red Team Member
 
Cassie501107's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Kansas
Posts: 1,535

S/C/G: 289/206.5/140

Height: 5'4"

Default

I have to say, I feel the same way at times, but you know what?: We CAN do it! Even if we don't turn out looking like super models, we will be healthier and happier than we are now. Chin up dear, you can make it!
__________________
Make room in ONEderland Goal:


Long-Term Goal:
Cassie501107 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2006, 01:02 PM   #3
Senior Member
 
DeafinlySmart's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 1,140

S/C/G: xmas start wt: 156

Default

I'm not all for convincing everybody they need to be a skinny minnie. The fact is you have to decide what is important to you. I won't have that perfect body either. I have stretch marks, a sag stomach (from 3 kid), and acne back and face. I do know I'll fit in clothes better, move better, and feel better about myself. My real goal is to achieve a healthier outlook on food, excercise and life in general. Being dx recently as bipolar, I discover that some foods and excercise help raise serotonin levels in our brains (which I need). I don't achieve it everyday, but then I also know life is not about being perfect.
__________________
DeafinlySmart is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2006, 01:08 PM   #4
takin it one lb at a time
 
x0xmelissax0x's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Washington
Posts: 125

Default

I know I want to be healthy, but I also don't want to be so self concious. I want to be comfortable in my body and I feel like I wont ever achieve that. I don't care if I'm not model skinny or perfect looking. I just want to be happy with who I am and it feels so unattainable.
__________________
Overall Goal:


I'm going lose it all... taking it 1 lb at a time
x0xmelissax0x is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2006, 01:13 PM   #5
Chick
 
ledom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Posts: 2,531

S/C/G: 257.5/239.75/155

Height: 5'7 1/2"

Default

Melissa, it is a lot of hard work and unfortunately there is no way around that. But, by taking it one day at a time, focusing on the process and being patient with yourself will allow you to accomplish your goals. Hang in there.
__________________
ledom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2006, 01:26 PM   #6
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Bell
Posts: 45

Default

When I lost 60 pounds at 14 years old, I went from 180 to 120lbs. only to let myself go up to 250 pounds. Can you imagine the mess it created on my body? After so much weight loss, I had the same fear. I'm only approximately 15 pounds away from my goal, and despite also having stretch marks and saggy skin, I feel better than ever. In fact, I'd say I feel 95% better, reaching 100% when I get where I want to be. Today, someone told me that I must be getting hit on like crazy. That makes me feel great, and assures me that what I have accomplished through hard work was worth the effort. Just because I lost weight does not make me taller, which I'd like to be. Therefore, you need to focus on the fact that you will look better no matter what, and less self-concious or inferior. I feel like trading these feelings for half a pizza, but then I remind myself that I would not trade being thin for anything else. All I can tell you is that you can do it! Do you think it was easy for me to lose 105 pounds? Not at all, but focus on the prizes, no matter what they are for you, and you'll be on you way.
Psychego is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2006, 01:40 PM   #7
Senior Member
 
KristenElizabeth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 237

S/C/G: 194/192/145

Height: 5'3

Default

Don't give up! I'm similar to you in that I have depression and it puts me down in the dumps a lot, and i gained a lot of weight- but im not going to give up. You have to realize that you are worth it and if you want to get fit its going to happen if you deserve it. Everyday look in the mirror and say at least one good thing about yourself- and then exercise or eat right. I know thats what EVERYBODY says, but try and do that in the morning to start of your day more positively. You can do it! I believe in you!
__________________
"I am allergic to sweets...I break out in fat"

I love myself!! Why shouldn't I??

Each morning I will wake up and say "yes I CAN"
KristenElizabeth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2006, 01:54 PM   #8
Senior Member
 
AquaChick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: United States
Posts: 435

Smile

Most of us have these imperfections. If it makes you feel any better I have gouges in my stomach from surgeries. I mean deep ones too. I actually had a new doctor gasp the first time she saw them. Talk about a slap to one's self confidence.

I know despite having stretch marks and scars, we will feel better being able to breathe better when we walk, and have lower blood pressure. We will feel like a healthier women that can wear the clothes we've thought we'd never get into. There will be a new state of mind being set free from the fat that has trapped us and held us back from so many things. Things maybe we didn't even realize.

I know you can get through this. You have so many people here rooting for you every step of the way.
__________________
AquaChick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2006, 02:11 PM   #9
Senior Member
 
Falon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Colorado
Posts: 294

Default

Oh how normal you are!!! I think it's something we ALL go through at some point, but it's also reminding ourselves that we are in control of the end result. We aren't all meant to look like we did in high school (or what our friends looked like). I have had several abdominal surgeries. 2 from having my children, and from having a severe infection after my 2nd child that meant having to reopen. I am just glad to have survived it, and know that it will never be the same again.. I just work around it, and I swear if my boobs go any farther South, i'll be sending them a postcard begging them to come back! But these are just things our bodies do as we get older, bigger, thinner, and less pliable. We just need to start accepting these changes as part of life, and stop allowing society to dictate to us how we are supposed to look in order to feel good about ourselves. *sigh* It is a vicious cycle. One we have to work extra hard to get out from under. Giant to you dear, and just know that you are not alone, but you are the only one who can change your thought process!
__________________
Blessed Be! - Falon

Decided to change my life - 1/26/06



Fourth of July Challenge -


Height: 4'11
Age:32
Falon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2006, 02:49 PM   #10
Moderator
 
Heather's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 11,470

S/C/G: 295/225/back to Onederland

Height: 5'5"

Default

Ditto on the normalcy of how you're feeling. Gaining a lot of weight can play havoc with our confidence. I didn't think I could lose weight, AND KEEP IT OFF, so I stopped trying. I think if the weight hadn't kept creeping up I would still be not trying.

I don't know what the future holds for me and if I will keep off the weight I lose, but I'm determined to be healthier than I was, and already feel LOADS better!

I know when I first started I felt overwhelmed by all the possible changes, so I started just by doing portion control, then moved to calorie counting and in general more healthy eating. THEN I added in exercise. In December, my husband and I joined a gym. I feel like I can do this every day now. So much of it is routine! And what's best is -- it's working!

We've all been there too! THink about what is most important to you (for me it was health and not being held back by my weight anymore) and GO for it. You may not look like a model and have a flawless body -- but so few of us do, that I don't think it really matters.
__________________


My 5 C's of healthy living: Commitment to conscious control, with the understanding that choices have consequences
Heather is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2006, 03:13 PM   #11
Senior Member
 
kykaree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lancashire, England
Posts: 3,171

Default

I'm gonna sound like dr Phil here, but you won't do it until you change your attitude. If you feel like it's going to be impossible it WILL be impossible. What I did when I first came to 3FC was look at people who had done it, and read their posts avidly. I came to realise what made a successful loser.
*Consistency - doing it every day, day in day out, despite the monotony and tedium
*Positivity - losing weight isn't a punishment for being fat, its a reward to ourselves and our bodies and our inner selves.
* A sense of fun - weight loss needn't be all hard work. learning new ways of cooking, eating and moving can and should be fun!
* Resilience - we all have holidays, vacations, birthdays etc and we all need to bounce back from less than perfect food experiences
* Patience - yeah it's great when the weight comes off at one to two pounds a week, and fabulous when you have a great loss one week like 5lbs. What isn't so great is when you are doing it all right and you don't lose, not an ounce, for weeks or in my case, months. It took a long time for your body to get into this mess, and it will take a long time to get it out of it.

Stop beating yourself up for what you've become, focus on where you are going and what it will take to get your there.
__________________
kykaree is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2006, 03:24 PM   #12
Member
 
sf40's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: SoCal
Posts: 527

S/C/G: 192+,size16/ 164,12/ 150,10

Height: 5'7"

Default

Of course you can do this! Others have given you great advice and support and I want to chime in. Perhaps you need to take your focus away from the desire to have a beautiful body. What is "beautiful," anyway? By whose definition? Beauty is many things. It is strong body. It is a healthy body. People who survive and beat major life challenges, such as depression, are beautiful. Don't focus on the little things like stretch marks, but rather on the beauty of a strong, healthy body that cares for you as you care for it. You can do this because you are a survivor and you deserve it!
__________________

Living primal and focusing on my health, not a number. Although I wouldn't complain about a smaller number!

sf40 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2006, 06:11 PM   #13
Moderator
 
Heather's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 11,470

S/C/G: 295/225/back to Onederland

Height: 5'5"

Default

kykaree -- You nailed it. At least, you nailed my impression of what a successful loser is, after a number of months on 3fc.

Maybe we can turn it into an anagram we can all remember, like: PCARP! (positivity, consistency, a sense of fun, resilience, patience)... or CARPP... or some such. (I love using mnemonics to remember informatioN!
__________________


My 5 C's of healthy living: Commitment to conscious control, with the understanding that choices have consequences
Heather is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2006, 06:30 PM   #14
Going to ONEderland
 
SherryA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: California
Posts: 967

Default

Melissa, 50 pounds isn't near as much weight as it sounds like it is. I've lost over 20 in just the last two months. I once lost 50 in 8 months and that was with not really trying consistently.

Believe me it CAN be done and it can be done much faster than you imagine it can be. The real problem as I see it? You are looking at the WHOLE big picture. Divide it up into manageable portions.

I'm currently losing 10 pounds. But I'm not even looking at the whole 10 pounds at once, I'm looking at only 4 or 3 at a time. I just completed my 4, and now I'm 1/2 pound into my next 3 pounds. Think about it dear, ANYONE can lose 3 pounds right? Just start small. Aim for little goals and go for it. You can do it. The problem is that you are letting perfectionism get the better of you. You figure that even if you get there you won't be happy with yourself. Do you really KNOW that? You haven't gotten there yet.

Perfectionists give up too quickly because they expect "perfect". We don't have to go there. Even if you start and you only lose 3 pounds. That is 3 less pounds you have to lose! Celebrate your successes. Aim small and when you reach one small goal, go for the next one.

That is what I did all through the month of January, it is what I'm doing all through February and you know what? I'm going ALL the way to my goal this way. If you look at my tickers for my "goal weight" you won't see any "ultimate" goals. You will see no more than 4 or 3 pounds at a time. And when I reach those goals I set a new one. I don't look for huge successes, but by celebrating my baby successes I've gone back down by more than 20 pounds from my start weight. I did NOT set out to lose 20 pounds. I did NOT set out to reach 130 or whatever weight I should weigh. I set out to feel healthier, to fit in more of my clothes, to not be so heavy that my knees hurt. I set out to lose 3 or 4 pounds. My next goal is only 2.5 pounds away. I will make it and I will make the next one too. You can do this with me. We CAN be successful.

Will I be "beautiful" at whatever weight I decide to stop at? Probably not. Age has a way of making you less beautiful as you go along. But I will be more beautiful than I am now. And I can live with that. Regarding stretch marks? I'm sure that you, like most of us, wear clothes most of the time, so why worry about them? They will be hidden.
__________________
Sherry
SherryA is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-12-2006, 09:02 PM   #15
Senior Member
 
readyfreddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,152

Height: 5'5"

Default

i have stetch marks too- all over legs, thighs, hips, back etc. you know what ive noticed?? i hardly ever think about them. you have to be super close to notice them and i have to be in a bathing suit or shorts. thats like what- 10 percent of my year? people just notice the over all painting, not the tiny brush strokes. you know?

if they REALLY bother you- you can get them lasered off for a hefty fee. i twouldnt bother- but just so you know its out there!

also if they are knew- retin-a creams help generate cell growth and make them less noticable faster. (doesnt work for older ones though)

gl!
__________________


I will not let stress, unexpected surprises, or lack of planning derail my plans to be the best, most fit, healthiest me.

Mini Goal 148 - no longer overweight BMI

Halloween Challenge 147.5lbs
readyfreddy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:37 AM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2