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Does anyone [who is] feel 'not fat'?

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Old 02-08-2006, 01:09 AM   #1
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Default Does anyone [who is] feel 'not fat'?

I got the lectures from my doctors, I read the information about negative health effects, I listen to testimonials from those who are obese. It was a frightening thing to hear, and when I was immediately post-partum, it jump started my diet and gave me the will to lose that first 15 pounds. I thought once I started, it would be smooth sailing.

I saw no change in my size from losing the 15 pounds. Not just that, though, I don't 'feel' fat. I am in excellent physical condition. I have stamina, endurance, low blood pressure, low cholesterol, good muscle tone...just alot of fat that won't go away. It's so hard to be dedicated to this when I don't actually feel obese. I see myself and it's depressing - the way I look doesn't match the way I feel - but the depression makes me turn to chocolate (like today!).

This isn't meant to say that everyone is fat but me. I AM fat, but I don't FEEL fat. How do I get over that and realize this is more than just a vanity issue? Telling myself that and knowing it are one thing, but I need to live it. I just can't get to that point.
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Old 02-08-2006, 01:24 AM   #2
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i get what you are saying and all.. but i cant say that i dont feel fat when i look in the mirror and see fat, but without looking in a mirror, i feel like a normal skinny white girl (the way that i should be and want to be).
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Old 02-08-2006, 01:40 AM   #3
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When I was morbidly obese, I never felt I was. But there were always constant reminders that people did see me as such. The fact that I'd go to the movies alone and did not fit in the seat told me I was and had to do something about it. I hardly fit inside a rollercoaster ride seat.What awakened me and motivated me to lose weight was the fact that I was at risk of diabetes since my mom suffers from it. I'm out of the danger zone you can say, but now I'm focusing on the physical aspect. How ironic that now that I get thinner by the month, I see myself as big as when I started and consider myself fat for the first time. I guess I have to work on that when I reach my goal so that I won't get too thin.
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Old 02-08-2006, 02:20 AM   #4
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I agree with the other two replies. I don't feel so, but there are always reminders.
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Old 02-08-2006, 06:09 AM   #5
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I think that denial is a powerful protective tool when we're obese. Count me in with those who never saw themselves as fat when they were. I could look in the mirror and tell myself that 'I carry my weight well' and that 'no one would ever guess I'm 257 pounds'. Actually, I was even in denial about what I weighed - on the rare occasions that I got on the scales, I'd simply tell myself that they were broken and that I couldn't possibly weigh as much as they said.

Only when I lost most of the weight were my eyes opened to reality and I could see - really see - just how huge I had let myself become. I can look at a photo of my obese self (one that I originally thought I looked pretty good in) and see that I was simply enormous. No long T-shirt or open shirt could have camoflauged the body underneath - who did I think I was kidding? Myself, apparently.

It's self-protection not to 'feel' or 'see' ourselves as we really are when we're heavy. Because then we'd be forced to face the reality of our obesity and that can be a very bitter pill to swallow. As you lose weight, don't be surprised if your perception of yourself *then* changes as much as your perception of your new self. I guess it's just another example of how so much of weight loss happens in our heads, not our bodies.
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Old 02-08-2006, 07:28 AM   #6
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I don't recognise my "then" self anymore! I have been showing people photos of myself from five years ago, and no one else recognises me either!!

When I was morbidly obese (I'm just plain obese now ) I always thought I looked ok. No one really ever commented on my weight, not even doctors, in fact when I did reveal what I weighed, no one believed how fat I was!

Unconcious denial is not a good thing. It stops us from taking responsibility, like the alcoholic, who "only drinks socially" or the recreational drug user who "only drops e's at parties". Our lack of awareness of the state of our bodies and what our obesity is potentially doing to our life expectancy, future quality of life and hour health, is a potentially dangerous smokescreen.

Like Marvellous Meg said, it's only now when I look back, I can see just how big I was. It's funny now I have the opposite problem. I keep holding back from fitness classes, adventurous activities etc because I still see my self as a couch potato who is uncoordinated, weak and with poor endurance! That is my new challenge, getting used to the fit me!!!
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Old 02-08-2006, 08:11 AM   #7
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I can relate to this as well. I KNEW I was fat, but sometimes didn't see myself as fat. When I got well above 250 the denial didn't work as well, but you find ways to make it work. For example, when I saw the (rare) pictures of myself literally twice as big as everyone else, I would think how the camera really distorted things!
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Old 02-08-2006, 08:23 AM   #8
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I used to look in the mirror and never seen how fat I was. I still am, but when I was over 300 pounds I didnt see it.
Because I never really looked at myself in a full length mirror completly naked and not just a quick glance. Seeing what my husband sees when were intimate.
And another good driving point to me was I was scared I was going to die.
A couple times it felt like my heart was giving out. I felt like I had to faint and I just had to sit down. So I got scared and wanted to see my son grow up and be there for him , After looking into the mirror and seeing myself really for the first time with my own true eyes it was what I couldnt believe.
I couldn't understand how I couldnt see it. It was because I never really looked.
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Old 02-08-2006, 08:31 AM   #9
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I can totally relate, and that Meg now theres a wise one, I was exactly like that, and it was just like her when I look back, I see clearly. Hindsight 20/20 kinda thing. You might want to think about the health side of this issue, not the vanity. You have good numbers now, but things change and they change quick. The reality is that being overweight is a strain on your body, so perhaps just look to add in foods that are healthy lots of vitamins, and nutrients minus all that processed stuff, get in some exercise, because there is nothing bad about taking a walk, and doing some weights, and see where that takes you. Good Luck!
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Old 02-08-2006, 09:54 AM   #10
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I can understand how you feel. I have lost 15 pounds and I can't really see it. Not in the pictures i take, not in the mirror i look in. and i keep thinking i'm thinner than i am until i see a photo of me. i used to be 100 pounds when i graduated high school. somehow, i keep thinking of myself as that. but more and more when i have to go buy clothes, i find i am not thin because i have to buy shirts that come down to my hips to hide the stomach that hangs out of the bottom of my pants. YUK!! but i know i need to lose weight for my health and my happiness. I simply want to look in the mirror and not have to hide behind my clothes. so, even though i have only lost 15 pounds, i will not give up. I will be a mother my children will be proud to introduce to their friends and teachers. I will be the healthy mother who is ready to run out the door to take them to cheerleading practice and football games and not be out of breath trying to keep up with them at the park.

This is the vow i make to myself. To be there for my children in good health!!
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Old 02-08-2006, 10:08 AM   #11
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Same here. I didn't see it either. I didn't 'feel' fat, even though I knew I was. All of those little things that I can now do that I couldn't do when I was heavy were changes that came on gradually as I gained weight and I guess I didn't notice them missing. Like crossing my legs or getting up from the floor. I couldn't cross my legs comfortably and when I got down on the floor I had to use nearby furniture as crutches to help me back up. I simply learned to live with those things. But now that I've lost the weight, the differences are amazing and I can't believe I 'settled' for not having those advantages. Now when I sit on the floor I just plop down and with one move can jump right back up. How sad it was that I wasn't able to do that before.
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Old 02-08-2006, 10:08 AM   #12
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Well, at my heaviest I knew that I was fat but I tried to keep from thinking about it and whenever I looked in the mirror I almost trained myself to see a me that wasn't there....... a Charlotte who was thin and pretty and confident. But I wasn't and in reality I felt pretty down about myself.
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Old 02-08-2006, 10:14 AM   #13
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Might I suggest that you put 'body image' in the search thing up there in the purple bar and read, read, read. Our minds can be our best friends through weight loss or they can be our gravest enemy.
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Old 02-08-2006, 11:56 AM   #14
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Great thread! I also never really saw myself as 'fat'. I always new I was overweight but though it wasn't that bad because I could walk fast, jog, run (if I had to) when there were other people my size that basically waddled and took for ever to get from point A to point B. I think that was the biggest part of not accepting my being over weight.

I am quite capable of moving, and under the layers of fat, I am actually really strong. I even remember a lady who was a body builder who ran a gym I used to go to freak out that I was heavy, yet could leg press 400+#. So, again.. that made me see myself more as strong with fat that covered it. I'm 31 and I know that over the years my body has changed and will never be like it was at 21. But i'm glad that I finally got past the denial of my actual size. It took a very long time to get there though...
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Old 02-08-2006, 02:27 PM   #15
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I, also have the same situation. I think my problem is when I think of myself I think of my body the way it used to be not the way it is. When I see pictures of myself, Im shocked. I have recently started purchasing a size smaller pants than what I fit in and every time I think of eating too much (like when Im thinking Im smaller than I am), I try them on. This is all the "feel fat" I need.
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