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Old 01-11-2006, 09:04 AM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2000
Posts: 246

Default interpersonal issues

Hi. I don't know if I've ever posted here before, but I guess I registered a while ago under a username I'm not sure I like and I don't know how to change it! LOL!
Anyway, the end of last January, I decided I didn't want to be heavy anymore, so I started cutting back on food and exercising a little more. I'm down to around 152 lbs. and I'm 5'6", 33 years old, divorced, no kids.
I do need to exercise more, not b/c I think I need to lose more weight, but b/c I think I need to firm up a bit. So I hardly think 152 lbs. is emaciated. I think at my highest, I was up to around 236!!!!!! That's when I started to get scared. I'm having few problems thus far with keeping the weight off, feeling deprived or anything, as I'm eating a lot of stuff I want but less of it. I'm amazed at how much I must have been eating before if I'm able to maintain this weight on an average of 2000 cals/a day or even more. So I don't feel like I'm starving myself. So why do some people make me feel bad? My mother keeps asking me accusing "Have you lost more WEIGHT?" other people telling me to stop losing weight (even though I've been maintaining for a few months esp. over the holidays). I'm a size 10/11 which is NOT too skinny!!!!!!!!!!! I had someone tell me today that my face looks very thin and that she'd tell me after thinking about it if she thinks I'm too thin. (Now she's thin herself, so it's not anything like the silly jealousy thing.) Why are people saying these things? I mean, I'm at the top of the "healthy weight" range on the doctors' charts, so what's the big deal? Do I need to announce to these people that I weigh over 150 lbs. and that I wear a size 10 and that I'm not wasting away to nothing, and they should have seen me eat my fried egg/homefries/corn muffin breakfast this past weekend?!?!???!!! LOL And the chicken parmigian sandwich? Am I not allowed to try to lose weight and keep it off without being made to feel like I'm committing a crime? I've even been asked if I'm taking those drugs that help people lose weight. In a suspicious way, "What are you up to??" AAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHH!!!! So am I SUPPOSED to be heavy? Will people leave me alone if I gain the weight back? ( I do NOT want to! I'm so much more comfortable slimmer.)
I almost feel sometimes like I want to hide more now than when I was heavy b/c I feel like people are always thinking these things. How do I deal w/this? And how do I know if my face really does look too thin? I can't control where the weight comes off! I don't have much of a butt, but then genetically, I don't anyway. I'm an apple. LOL I can't help it! I don't want to get arthritis as I get older b/c I'm carrying too much weight. What a crime! Jeeez!
Sorry I'm going a little nuts here (for a first post, even), but this is REALLY bothering me!!!
lipidful is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2006, 09:15 AM   #2
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Illinois
Posts: 30


I totally agree with you - I have lost about 40 lbs and people at work keep telling me "you need to stop losing weight". Ummmm it hasn't changed but 2-3 lbs in the last 2 months - I'm not going to waste away.... I promise

I think people get an idea in their heads what certain people looked like before and if we don't look like we used to, we are too skinny. As long as you are happy with your weight/ how you feel - dont' worry about what the others say.

We are the ones that have to live with our bodies and the decisions we have made, these other people aren't going to be there to take care of us if we gain the weight back and need help. so just let it go in one ear and out the other!
patswill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2006, 11:43 AM   #3
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Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 1,123


It's true, that people who knew you before see you as skinnier than you really are when you lose weight. It's wacky. I never had anyone tell me I should stop, but even when I was still 50 - 60 pounds overweight, I'd have people ask, "You mean you're trying to lose more?" They weren't being critical, they honestly saw me as being at a normal weight because I had been so large before.

I changed jobs a little over a year ago, and these people had never known the big me. To them, I don't seem too skinny because they don't have the old me to compare to.

As for what to say, I HAVE told people my size to demonstrate that I'm no where near a size 0, but I am ambivalent about doing that. I'm still about 5 pounds over the top of the recommended range for my height, and when people learn I'm still trying to lose they are still surprised, even when I explain that by the charts I'm still "overweight." So, I suppose you could just say something like, "Thanks for being concerned but I promise I'm healthy and in no danger of getting too skinny; my doctor is thrilled with what I'm doing."
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Old 01-11-2006, 12:05 PM   #4
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 62


I have people tell me "you look fine, you're sexy, you don't need to lose weight". I tell them "I know I'm already sexy, now I'm gonna be healthy"
Ultimate Goal:

Hopefully by Christmas!
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