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It Boils Down to Self Control ...

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Old 12-12-2005, 09:24 PM   #1
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Default It Boils Down to Self Control ...

... which I have none ...

And so here I am ... I have thought for several years "oh I can do this myself" when I now know I need to be w/ others that are in this boat. So make room for my size 16/almost 14 booty, please oh please!

I cannot figure out how to GET CONTROL of this weight issue. And it's not like I have a TON to lose either ... it's not a daunting task in front of me. It's like 35 lbs. or so ... but my problem is discipline.

I do not eat because I am hungry ... I eat because it's fun ... because it's a comfortable routine. Like a bowl of popcorn in front of the TV ... for me the anticipation of that act is something I dream about and look forward to all day long. Favorite TV show and that bowl of popcorn.

Now there have been times that I have been able to supress my calorie intake thru-out the day to ALLOW for that bowl of popcorn (popped in canola oil on the stove w/ butter buds and LITE salt -- I'm figuring apx 550 calories) but the JOY of this is the feeling it gives me to know that at 7:00 that evening I will be snuggled in my jammies w/ a bowl of popcorn watching a movie.

I don't feel like I'm explaining this well ... but it is NOT hunger that drives me. It's the pure enjoyment. I've often JOKED w/ my friends that aneroxia would be such a "perfect" solution ... I get to eat it, enjoy the taste of it, and then get it out of my body. DON'T WORRY. That's not a choice for me ... I hate to throw up. (don't you even be sending me any warnings about this -- I mean it -- I'm NOT aneroxic) (I promise!!!)

Anyway, I'd like to know HOW you all manage to get discipline in your life to the point that you can resist this type of urge. I have times that I have a will of steel ... and times that I just must have food at all costs ... (this is food over and above my 3 balanced meals)

One thing I did read today was something a woman said about her temptations ... she said she will say to herself "which do I want more -- this donut or to be thin?"

That pretty much says it all ... and it's something I'm gonna try ... but I'd like to hear from you all !!
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Old 12-12-2005, 09:37 PM   #2
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Basically I just realized that no food was worth feeling bad about myself. And that's what did it.

I love to eat, too. And I'm not saying I don't still enjoy it. But *I* control the food, I don't let *it* control *me*.

Why?

Because never again do I want to feel so bad about myself that I couldn't even stand looking at myself in the mirror every morning.

No food is worth that to me.
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Old 12-12-2005, 09:51 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Agean Dreamer
One thing I did read today was something a woman said about her temptations ... she said she will say to herself "which do I want more -- this donut or to be thin?"
I don't know who posted that, but who ever she is, she's right on target. I think that same exact thing at least 4 times a day. Except it's not always a donut ...there are the Twizzlers in the snack machine I walk by every day at school, the perpetual box of chocolates in the break room at work, and the cheesecake I fell in love with at the grocery store yesterday.

These days my answer to "which do I want more?" is occasionally "the donut," but more often than not the answer is "I want to be thin." And it all adds up in the end. Every single bit of extra, unneeded, unhelpful food that you say "no" to means something -- mathematically/calorie-wise and emotionally.

I let myself be coerced into having a piece of pizza on Thursday. That's the bad news. The GOOD news is that I didn't have the three pieces that I really wanted.

You need to acknowledge your little victories and not dwell on the failures. The more small victories you have, the easier it will be to continue with the pattern, and (in my experience) your ability to say "no" continues to strengthen.

But that's not to say it's EASY. I remember when I first started trying to cut down from 4 Cokes a day to 3. It was like TORTURE at first, but I adapted and I haven't had a Coke in probably a year or so.

I know now that I want to be thin more than I want a momentary taste of something very yummy and very fattening...and I'm a person who used to LIVE on junk food. Literally. But I've decided being thin is something I can enjoy 24 hours a day. The joy of eating a slice of cheesecake will last only a few minutes.
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Old 12-12-2005, 09:56 PM   #4
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Don't worry. I know EXACTLY what you mean.

I agree with what LLV said, but I think I frame it a little differently. I DO let myself eat some of those foods, but in greatly greatly reduced quantity, and in most cases, have shifted to different KINDS of food.

I'm not sure if this is, ultimately, the best approach for me... many people talk about divorcing the food from that indulging feeling, because we then continue to use food in an unhealthy way...and I'm still working through what I think about that. But, for now, I have focused on having control over the food I do eat. I'm keeping the idea that I will have to make further changes later on down the road.

For example, I like to make it through my day before I indulge in something. So, if "treats" show up at work, I turn them down. Not because I "can't" eat them, but because I choose not to. Helps me keep control. Getting to this point IS huge for me, because I NEVER had self-control before.

Then, in the evening, I generally allow myself a treat -- usually something crunchy. But instead of a bag of popcorn, I might have a handful of crackers, or an ounce of cheetos. And I savor the bites...

But it's a tricky line to walk, because you can't keep things around that will trigger a binge. So for me, no ice cream in the house!

Like you, I always thought I had NO self-control. Turns out, I do.

Oops, Kate posted at the same time! And said great stuff too!

Good luck!
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Old 12-12-2005, 09:59 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wyllenn
Don't worry. I know EXACTLY what you mean.

I agree with what LLV said, but I think I frame it a little differently. I DO let myself eat some of those foods, but in greatly greatly reduced quantity, and in most cases, have shifted to different KINDS of food.
Oh, don't get me wrong, I still eat the foods I love. I just eat them in extreme moderation.

I don't believe in deprivation. As long as whatever I eat is counted in with my calories, I don't worry about it

I stick to a certain amount of calories for the day.
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Old 12-12-2005, 10:06 PM   #6
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OK...lemme start with maybe you could have a snack size bag of popcorn - low fat is about 100 calories....I had one myself last night....
But another alternative would be to work it off...maybe an exercise bicycle in the living room while you watch your tv.....nothing like a kick (!) workout to make you think twice about eating all the calories you just worked so hard to burn off...

LLV is spot on about not letting food control your life.

Kate is right about not dwelling on failures and concentrating on victories...

You do have self control - if you figure out what the "prize" is for you - making goal weight, for example...you have to use that prize to convince yourself that the prize is worth more than the craving...it ain't easy...but it's worth it!!
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Old 12-12-2005, 10:37 PM   #7
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But that's not to say it's EASY. I remember when I first started trying to cut down from 4 Cokes a day to 3. It was like TORTURE at first, but I adapted and I haven't had a Coke in probably a year or so. -Kate


Shudder shake, shhhh honey, (rocking myself back and forth at the thought of no caffeine at all). Tee Hee I was addicted to both eines, caffeine and nicoteine, I gave up nico, don't know when caff will go someday I hope.
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Old 12-13-2005, 06:44 AM   #8
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Determination and willpower. We've all got it and sometimes it's hard as **** to find it and keep it, but it's there. Believe me, I have my share of days where I just want to say poop on it all for the day and eat like a piglet. But then I stop and remember that I've lost almost 80 pounds and that I need to keep it off for life and I'm NOT sabotaging all that hard work.

I save my "pigging out" for Sunday. Since I started my new lifestyle, I allow myself ONE MEAL (NOT one whole day) to eat what I want and as much as I want without counting calories or measuring portions. One meal, every week.

It keeps me sane.
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Old 12-13-2005, 06:59 PM   #9
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Wow ... thanks so much you guys! Very encouraging ... and so much of it I know already ... it's just implementing it ... making it a lifestyle change.

I know NOT to deprive myself or say I can't have something because that always backfires ... anything in MODERATION. And keep track of what I'm eating ...

You see I KNOW I can do this ... that's the frustrating thing ... I've had success ... it's just staying on the damn horse! LOL

Thanks so much you all ...
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Old 12-13-2005, 07:17 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Agean Dreamer

I know NOT to deprive myself or say I can't have something because that always backfires ... anything in MODERATION. And keep track of what I'm eating ...
Exactly. This is a lifelong thing. It's not a diet. At least for me it's not. And the thought of going the rest of my life without ever eating a cheeseburger or fried chicken again is just too depressing, lol.

You can't say, "oh, this is just great, I'll never be able to eat pizza again."

Because if you get yourself into that type of mindset, the whole thing seems like a tedious chore rather than a lifestyle. And eventually you'll cave, eat that pizza, and feel you've blown the whole thing. When you haven't.

Like you said, moderation. That's the key.
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Old 12-14-2005, 10:20 AM   #11
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Hi there,

You know - I have been working on getting fit for the last 19 months or so. I don't think it is a question of willpower as much as one of willingness. What are you willing to do to reach your goals? Habits - things that we enjoy become embedded in our personality. It takes a long time to develop new habits - but it can be done. I can eat anything I want to eat - as long as I account for it. Also as you work to eat healthy your tastes change and you get to where you want those types of food. That is the real key to success. To quote Sheryl Crow from one of her songs "It's not having what you want, it wanting what you've got."

I wish you all the very best.
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Old 12-14-2005, 10:24 AM   #12
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Hi Agean,

I read your post and had to write a reply. I totally agree with you!

Self-control is a big problem for me. I'm fine with not eating as much at work, but when I get home, I want to binge eat.

During the day, I try to drink as much water as I can, although in the winter I tend to drink more and more hot chocolate and hot tea.

I guess the biggest thing with me is exercising at least 4 times a week (whether I want to or not). Trying to take the stairs instead of the elevator, stuff like that.

I also think that you should never deprive yourself of sweets, just everything in moderation (is the key!). Take a tiny bit of cake, instead of a whole piece. I also find chewing gum helps sometimes too.

I think it's also important to try to cut out sodas completely (I'm still working on that one!).

I think you can do it. It's a challenge for all of us, especially me, believe me!!

Good luck to you.

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Old 12-14-2005, 11:17 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovesBassets
I know now that I want to be thin more than I want a momentary taste of something very yummy and very fattening...and I'm a person who used to LIVE on junk food. Literally. But I've decided being thin is something I can enjoy 24 hours a day. The joy of eating a slice of cheesecake will last only a few minutes.
I am having a freakin' LIGHTBULB MOMENT!!!

Kate, THANK YOU for saying that!!!! These words have hit me over the head! Just what I needed to hear to get my act together!
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Old 12-14-2005, 11:28 AM   #14
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I'm glad it helped you, Jen . You can do it!!
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Old 12-14-2005, 12:25 PM   #15
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Charles -- I liked what you said, and I clicked on your link and read your story. VERY INSPIRING!!!!! Welcome to 3fc!!!
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