Originally Posted by Psychego
Recently I've been thinking why I want to lose weight. Why do I want to please myself? Why do I want a better health? Why do I want a higher self-esteem, a higher quality of life, and be more attractive? Why not stay in that same body that has brought me suffering? After all, I'm used to all this things. Why not live in misery? Why would I want a better social life? Why would I want more attention? Why be happy? Why the desire to no longer hear fat jokes? Why would I want to avoid diabetes, hypertension, heart attacks if eventually they may show up later in life nevertheless? Why not be part of those 2/3 of obese Americans? Why be thin? Why not comform to the way life is? Why wanting to be the best one can be? Why maximizing the chances to be loved by someone else? Why enjoy life? Why do I deserve this? Why do I want what's best for myself? Who even cares? Why do I even care? I'm going to die anyways. - I'm just too crazy and naive.
Only you can answers these questions. Because only your own answers will be the ones that make sense to you. And the ones that will mean something.
We've all had these thoughts, you're not alone. I too have sat back and thought to myself, "Oh poo on this! I'm just gonna go back to the way I was before!"
But then I think hard about
the way I was before. I remember how hard it was not even enjoying going out in public because I didn't want people to look at me. And how I used to have to sit on the 'sidelines' somewhere while my son was playing because I was too fat to get down there and roll around with
him. And how I used to have to use nearby furniture as crutches just to pull myself up off the floor. And the fat clothes I had to float around in. And hating even having to look at myself in the mirror in the morning. The self-consciousness, that was the worst of all.
Then I begin thinking about NOW. And how I feel about myself
. That I can toss on a pair of jeans and bounce out the door and feel confident that people aren't looking at me thinking what a big fat blob I am. I can now roll around with my son without becoming winded. I can sit on the floor Indian style and jump right back up WITHOUT
having to use nearby furniture to help me. I feel better. I look better. My blood pressure is down. My cholesterol is down. And you know what? The most important thing is how I feel about myself. Not how everyone else feels about me. But how *I*
feel about me. I feel good about myself for the first time in YEARS. And there's only one person that can take that away from me.
There's also only one person that can continue to give myself the gift of self-confidence.
Same with you. Only you can give that to yourself and only you can take it back away. It's your choice. But I'll tell you something, sweetie, I've learned one thing if nothing else - food is NOT worth hating yourself over.
No food, no matter how good it is, is worth that.
Think about that