Ok..well..let's just say I have had enough. I have reached that place in my life where it's time to take action or stop complaining.
Life hasn't been a happy place for me in awhile. I know I would get more out of the life I have been given if I took some responsibilty for my place in it.
I am tired of being FAT. I am tired of being judged. I am tired of being out of breath. I am tired of making excuses. I am tired of trying to hide myslef. Truthfully, I am tired of being so dang tired!!!!
I don't know where all of my motivation went but I need to find it again. When I started this journey 4 years ago I was 335 lbs. I will never forget it...It was Thanksgiving day and my family was sitting around the table talking about what pigs they had made of themselves. The women compained that they were going to have to starve after the hoildays to lose what the hoilday feasts were packing onto their hips. I don't know how it all started with the scale, but somehow it ended up in the kitchen. Various family members had gotten onto the scale to see how much damage they had done. I can remember thinking, there is no way I'm steppping on that scale in front of these people, I don't care whose blood line they have. Well, to make it simple...when I got home that evening I decided to get on my scale at home...I cried for 2 hours. I knew I was FAT...but Lord not THAT FAT!! I decided then and there that my life abut to change..and it did. The very next morning I started my change. I changed my diet over night. Gone was the sugar, the bread, the wheat, the sweets, and the soft drinks. I replaced those evil things with, water, vegatables, lean meats, and lots of walking. The day after Christmas I stepped on the scale...WOW..In a months time I had lost 32 lbs!!! I was so psyched. I contiued with my life change thru the spring...by the end of may I had lost 74 lbs. By November 80 lbs..and then things fell apart...The love of my life died in a car wreck a mile from our home and suddenly my healthier lifestyle didn't matter anymore...It has continued like that since that time (2002).....Well here I am a week after Thanksgiving 4 years later and I am still not where I thought I would be...but you know what?...that's all about to change. AGAIN.
Tomorrow morning my life changes. Gone are the tired emotions of being tired. Gone are the tears, replaced by hope. Gone is the self loathing. Gone are the excuses.
I hope to be able to share my journey with like minded people. I 'd like to share my ups and downs with you all (if you don't mind) And I 'd like to listen to your stories, triumphs, and let downs too!
Here's to starting over again. Finding that happy place inside and letting it shine through for the rest of the world to see!
__________________ You can't get to where you're going, if foget where it is you started from.
WELCOME Patty!!! I think we've all been there before, and you've found a great group of people here (heh, not to self-promote!). I'm sorry to hear about your loss -- that's devastating. But you've taken some of the hardest steps already.
If you like, come join us in the 300+ support forum!
OR in the 100 pounds to lose club!
My 5 C's of healthy living: Commitment to conscious control, with the understanding that choices have consequences
You have been thru a rough time and have forgotten to care for yourself like you need to. Its understandable. Just need to let yourself love yourself again to make the changes you need to make.
Its not a easy thing to do when your hurting.
Patty, you have given yourself time to deal with your sorrow, and that is a GREAT thing to have done--people think they should get over things right away, but it takes longer than that. So naturally watching food intake went by the wayside for awhile. But you sound like now you are ready again. That, too, is a GREAT thing! And I am cheering for you! Just take it slow and easy, one day at a time, and you'll get there. You really will! Because you know how. Good luck!!
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice and no guarantee is made against accuracy.