I am outting myself...(warning,long post)
 

Ok, so I don't post here very often, but I do read the forums daily. For the last 3 months I have fallen off the wagon so to speak. So today I have decided to restart, and in that I need to unload and get everything out of the closet before I feel i can really trully start again.

I knew that things had to change when I was hovering around 260 lbs.(2003), but at that time I was so put off by the fact that i would need to lose around 100+ pounds. I had never been one for yo yo dieting, or really any sense of the word diet. After a bad break up a deep depression dropped me to around I guess 240-245 (2004) (I never owned a scale, only weighed myself at my moms). I realized I needed to get serious about it, but I had always used the excuse that I came from a large southern family, and not large as in the number of people. I just always believed that I would always be large because of them and I could never look the way I wanted to. I never took my weight when I began to lose weight in Jan. of 2005, but I started keeping a food diary and documenting my wieght in March (235lbs) by June I was down to 201..dreaming of onederland. Well thats when it all fell apart. I recognize my inner sabotour but have yet found the way to fight her off. Since about June I have hovered anywhere around 208 to 204. I have finally realized that I am scared to be in the 100's. I haven't been ther since mabye my freshman/sophmore year in high school. I have never known who that person is. I was just still a kid. Now as I slowly lose the weight I see a womans body emerging, I have never met her before and I don't know how to get comfortable with her. I am certain this is the reason that I have not pushed myself to drop below 200, and why I quit eating right and going to the gym. Well now I say bring it on. I am ready. I know my demons. Thanks to everyone for being an inspiration and a sounding board.

Hi! It sounds like you have really got your head in the game, so to speak. I wish you the best of luck w/ your weightloss/fitness plan. Know that everyone here at the 3FC boards will be cheering you on! I cant wait to be in onederland again, I really miss my softmore year body, LOL...I just wish I had appreciated it more back then...

Have A Great Day

Onederland is nigh! You are at the top of the mountain, looking down into the valley! :)

All I can say is that I relate and support your efforts. Body image is a huge issue for many of us. How do we relate to a thinner us? Keep writing about it, talking about it, searching out what reasons there have been for this block...oh, and get back to eating right and exercising! You CAN do it :D

Amen to that, sister! It's funny but at the time I thought I was fat - now I look at pictures and think I looked pretty HOT. :lol:

Onderland is pretty cool...don't be afraid! You might be surprised at yourself! :carrot:

Abi-- I feel ya. I weighed 217 at age 12 and then got down to 192 at age 13 but since then it was up up and away to 272 by age 20. I am at 194 (and 21 yrs old) now and it is interesting to see how my body changes and how I look and feel different. I am evolving and it is great!!!
You will get into Onederland. You have to let your inner sabotour go and let the positive Abi achieve her goal.

Thanks everyone for the encouraging words!!! I am 24 and just don't want to feel like I let my twenties pass without experiencing everything! haha including being that foxy chick at the bar, hehehe. Good job all of you on your amazing weightloss efforts. WE CAN DO THIS!!

Well done you!!! I'm 33, and I watched my twenties go by, covered in a veil of fat, I never entered a nightclub, or went dancing with my friends, or did any of the things I should have been doing in my twenties! I think it's great you have dealt with your weight issues now, so you can enjoy the rest of your twenties without it holding you back.