[DaisyLily]

Has anyone had any old feelings/emotions come back to you and STILL hurt?
My story...
Today I was at the gym on the tread mill. The gym was PACKED. It was about 6-7pm so that's understandable. I noticed a man that used to be a boy in my class. K-8 I went to school with him. He has grown! (Looks pretty good btw) So being bored on the tread mill I start to think. I haven't seen him in 10 years. He went to a different high school so i never saw him then. Then I started to think about the other guy I haven't seen since 8th grade. The only time I really talked to him was at a school dance. My mom worked with his mom. After the last dance I was upset that no guys wanted to dance with me. Well my mom TOLD his mom, who of course told him. Well at this current dance he says "I was told something about you but I won't repeat it cause it's too mean." So I looked at him not knowing what he was talking about. Then he blurted out...."Your mom said you were crying and upset no one wanted to dance with you last time." I forget the exact way he said it but the emotions came rushing back. I almost broke down on the tread mill in front of everyone there. I had to tell myself not to cry over and over. I did good today so it wasn't me feeling like I let myself down. All the feelings of having to pretend I was ok after he said that and how I actually felt after that dance overwhelmed me.

[kykaree]

You know I thought it was just me. I am in my thirties now, and often have flashbacks, particularly when I exercise. I think because when I was at school exercise was pure torture for me. I had severe coordination difficulties (I have a mild form of cerebral palsy) and quite severe asthma, and none of the teachers at school knew how to modify activities to suit my needs. So I got many nasty comments at school, and sometimes at the gym, I still feel very vulnerable, and almost frightened of others.

Good on you for realising and working through your feelings, and keep going with that exercise.