Originally Posted by boiaby
Once I accepted the fact that I'm never gonna be a skinny minnie, parading around in little bikini, and eating all the crap I wanted while never gaining an ounce, I was able to let go of the dream, and get down to business. I'm never gonna have the body I wish I had and I will always have issues with food. But this is my life and I'm gonna live it the best, healthiest and happiest that I can, and forget about all the stuff that I don't have any control over.
What she said.
Another turning point I made was that I worked on seeing healthy food as desirable, as "real food" instead of a punishment or something that was second-rate. Sure, I'd still rather have Tropical Chocolate Happiness dessert at my favorite upscale restaurant than an apple. But, I LIKE apples a lot more than I used to because I made up my mind to learn to appreciate them.
I know exactly what you mean about being weary of the grind of counting things and thinking about the consequences of every bite. And, honestly, sometimes I take mini-vacations from it -- sometimes just a meal, sometimes a day, sometimes more. But I spent several years counting every bite first, and so now my reactions to food choices are fairly deeply ingrained. I went through a VERY long period where I was quite diligent. But, because I have that solid foundation under me, I am now able to enjoy "real food" as you put it, on occasion, in moderation.
I'm not gonna tell you to "cheer up" or "get back on the horse" or whatever. I know you were mostly venting, and that's good. But, I have to react to what you said because I used to feel exactly the same way on many counts. I have been very successful though (I've lost 165 pounds so far) because I made up my mind to (a) deal with the cards I had in my hand rather than wishing I (or the people around me) had different cards, and (b) learn to like a healthy lifestyle rather than pouting and mourning inactivity and unhealthy food and portion sizes.
You always have a choice -- go back to your old ways and be overweight and unhealthy, OR do what you need to do to make the best of the true gift your body is.
P.S. One of the best things I ever did was start to take yoga. And, I was 230 pounds or so when I started. In many ways it's taught me to appreciate my body for what it IS and what it CAN do rather than *****ing about what it isn't.