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Old 04-05-2005, 12:52 AM   #1
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Default newbie -- feel so defeated

Hi. I'm a newbie here but I'm not a newbie to losing weight.

I lost 50 pounds on WW and made it to goal. Now a year later I've gained back 20 pounds, gained high cholesterol, and became a couch potato champion. I'm going back to the meetings but somehow I just don't care anymore. : I guess I thought I had suddenly become a naturally thin person. I'll NEVER be a naturally thin person. My doc gave me 6 months to change my lifestyle and if I'm not successful, I'll have to go on cholesterol lowering drugs. I should be motivated to keep off the meds, but I'm not. I take 7 other prescriptions so adding one more isn't an inconvenience. I've had some side effects before so I'm not at all worried about that. The expence is immaterial because the other meds max out my deductible and out-of-pocket anyway, so a new med is effectively "free" for me. It's not that I don't want to change. I just feel so defeated that it feels like I can't.

I don't quite know which thread or board to join here. Maybe the WW boards or the jaded ladies? Any suggestions on where? Any suggestions on where to find some sort of motivation?

Thanks in advance.
Linda and the zoo.
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Old 04-05-2005, 04:16 AM   #2
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Hi Linda! Welcome to 3FC! about being a naturally thin person ... I had that fantasy too! Then I hit goal and realized that I'm still exactly the same person inside that I always was - you know, the one who loves chocolate chip cookies, preferably by the dozen. I came to realize that I'm going to have to actively manage my weight for the rest of my life - there's no 'cure', unfortunately.

You might want to check out our Maintainers forum here - there's a lot of us who are close to or reached goal and, like you, are surprised to discover that we're NOT cured and that most of our eating issues are still with us. You don't need to be at goal to post with us - the forum is for anyone who's thinking about maintenance and life after goal. Come introduce yourself and post in our daily thread and I know you'll get tons of support.

Please don't feel defeated - this is all part of the lifelong learning process of weight management.

Congratulations on getting a handle on the regain NOW and not another 30 pounds down the road. You CAN turn this around and get back to goal!
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Old 04-05-2005, 07:23 AM   #3
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Hey Chinchillacool!

Try not to be so down on yourself hon... yes, maybe you slacked off your weight maintenance, but it could be far, far worse. I'm fairly sure that statistics show that most people who lose and regain end up regaining more than they lost in the first place. So, you're to be congratulated on catching yourself mid-regain. Instead of just sitting back and letting all the pounds (and more) pile back on, you've come to a point where you've realized that you're regaining and that you have to do something about it. And, you're still OVER half way towards your goal!

You should be very proud of yourself for managing to lose the weight and hit goal (heh, something I've still yet to do!!!) in the first place. That is a major accomplishment and I hope that you can look back on it and find some pride and belief in yourself--you definitely deserve it.

So, you've gained 20 lbs of the weight back? Over a year? It sounds like a big deal (and okay, it's always a big deal when we gain) but let's do some math and really think about it:

You gained, on average, .38 lbs per week. If 3500 calories = 1 lbs then 1330 calories = .38 lbs (your average weekly gain). That means you were overeating (taking exercise out of the equation) by only 1330 calories per week. Divide 1330 by 7 days in the week and we find that you were eating about 190 calories too many per day.

190 calories! That's about one serving of ice cream, or 4 fig newtons, or 2 pieces of bread....That's so easy to consume without realization! Try not to feel like a failure for such a small digression! It seems to me that you've actually done a pretty darn good job at holding yourself in check. So you've strayed a little bit here and there... it doesn't mean you can't do it. You HAVE done it, you just want to get back to goal.

I know it's hard to not be angry with yourself when you regain lost weight. I truly know. I was heavy my entire life. The first diet I remember going on was in the summer between 6th and 7th grades. I don't remember what I ate but I ran on the treadmill everyday and ended up dropping from 160 to 128. Unfortunately, by the end of 7th grade I was back up to 155. By the end of 8th I was pushing 200. I went on many crash diets throughout this time, always ended up losing some and then gaining more back. By 11th grade I was 215. I went on another crazy diet where I was eating about 300 calories a day and doing 30-40 minutes of step daily for a month. I lost 35 lbs! But, by a year later I had gained it all back. Up and down, up and down... my entire life. It wasn't until the age of 22 that I finally found something that worked for me, lost most of the weight, and have managed to maintain without too much of a problem. My point is that just because you've regained some this time does not by any means indicate that you can't succeed.

I am so much happier at this size than I was before. Though it hasn't solved any of my problems, I'm just so thankful to not feel like "the fat girl" everywhere I go. It has also definitely helped my health. At my heaviest I remember going to the gyno for birth control and they wouldn't give me oral contraceptives because I was slightly hypertensive. Now, 5 years later, my blood pressure is great (98/62 & 110/60 last readings) and the only difference is that I'm eating healthy and a lot lighter. I mention this because you brought up your and your doctor's concern about your cholesterol. If you really want to avoid the extra medication, right there is a great motivation for losing the weight again. Or at least eating healthy!

I really hope you can find your motivation. For me there just came a time when I KNEW that if I didn't do it now--and hold on to it--that I was going to be stuck in this unhappy cycle my entire life. If the extra weight and stress on your body is making you unhappy, then you owe it to yourself to achieve your goal again. Maybe try to think about where you will be a year from now, having lost the last 20 lbs again. Dieting and maintenance will probably never be "easy", but over time they do become "easier". And it's so worth it in the long run.

Think about all you've accomplished already! You can definitely get back into the swing of things, you just need to find a strong, solid reason to do it for yourself.

Best of luck to you! There's hundreds of people here who can empathize so stay in touch!
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Old 04-05-2005, 08:04 PM   #4
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Default thanks

WOW... Thanks for the welcome. I appreciate your insights.

Linda and the zoo.
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Old 04-07-2005, 08:50 AM   #5
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You know when you put a weight gain into perspective, (the 190 cal per day) it is really easy to see how it can creep up....what an interesting thing to figure out.....

Thanks for the insight,
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Old 04-07-2005, 09:37 AM   #6
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S/C/G: 185/see signature/135

Height: 5'4"


Hi Linda, welcome! I've also (like so many people) yo-yo dieted a little bit. I did Slim-Fast a few years ago, and lost 30 lbs to get down to 150. But even though I dieted, I didn't exercise at all that time, and as soon as I hit my goal weight I went right back to eating the way I always had . . . a lot of high-calorie foods! I gained back the 30 lbs and more in about a year and a half.

This time, I'm eating right and not relying on Slim-Fast, and I'm exercising a lot. I used to hate exercising with a passion! But I found out that now that I've worked up to a point where I feel like I'm getting in shape, I really like it! I think even when I finally get to my goal I will probably want to continue exercising, and I will probably keep eating healthy (although I will probably eat a little more than I do right now) because I like healthy food too (now that I've had time to find out what works for me).

The fact that you haven't gained back all the weight you lost yet is great! And the fact that you lost 50lbs to begin with is also something to be proud of! I really think that losing weight and eating right is something you have to do for yourself, not for anybody else. If you love and respect your body, then you will want to take care of it and keep it healthy and as drug-free as possible. I know that when I was at my heaviest, I didn't love or respect my body -- I hated it for being so fat and worthless. I would blame everyone but myself -- my parents didn't teach me to eat right, the school cafeteria doesn't serve healthy food, I have too much work to find the time to work out. But the fact is that those were just excuses I made to avoid taking the blame for my own weight gain. My body didn't choose to sit around watching TV all day, or to eat fast food, *I* did, so I was really responsible for the state my body had ended up in.

Nowadays, now that I've started loosing again and getting exercise, I am glad for everything my body does for me. After all, I couldn't live without it! I want to treat it right, and if I am good to my body, it will be good to me.

I don't know if you have the same feelings about your body that I had, but maybe this will give you a little bit of motivation.
08/10/2004: 185 lbs 08/10/2005: 140 lbs 11/28/2005: 130 lbs!

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