Like AlmostHeaven, SOMETIMES I end up making two seperate meals for my family and myself (well, actually, if I don't want what I've made for them I just have a lean cuisine). But, I've been doing this for a while and have found that if I don't tell them I've substituted healthier ingredients my family doesn't know (I've got a picky husband and three picky children). So, I still make mac and cheese, but I use 2% cheese, evaporated SKIM milk, reduced calorie margarine, etc. I still have to measure my portions because the changes don't necessarily make it a guilt free food, but it does help.
There have been a couple of things that I've substituted ingredients in and someone asked if I did something differently. I always tell them no and chalk it up to a bad batch and then just make a mental note that I won't be able to slip that particular recipe by them. I'll keep making it the traditional way knowing that I'll just have to enjoy a smaller portion than if I'd been able to alter the recipe. It usually isn't that big of a deal.
It sounds sooo cliche but the bottom line is that you have to make changes that you can sustain. Otherwise, you are wasting your time because you are going to regain the weight you've lost as soon as you stop making wiser food choices. The good news is that there is more than one way to skin a cat. The plan you choose has to reflect YOUR goals and YOUR lifestyle.
For instance, my weight is my only health concern. I don't have high blood pressure, I don't have heart issues, I don't have high cholesterol, etc. So, my plan is really just a matter of burning more calories than I eat. Sure, I've become more particular about the kinds of food I eat but that is more a result of feeling healthier over all and wanting to improve on that, not as a means to lose weight. Similarly, you will have to take a little time to decide what you want your end result to be and design a plan around that. If you find yourself confused by all of the conflicting information floating around you may find consulting a nutritionist helpful.
To be honest, I didn't really consult my husband much when I started making these changes. I figured that since I was in charge of our meals I could do it my way, within reason, of course. After all, it is still important to me that we enjoy our meals as a family. But, what I didn't want was to be able to use THEM as my excuse to give up (and I have been guilty of doing just that in the past). They all know I am working hard to lose weight, they are all supportive, but I knew that I would never be successful if I kept that voice in my head tell me that I HAD to bake chocolate chip cookies every day after school. It is all about compromise. I'm not going to take away the foods my family loves just because I can't control myself. By the same token, they don't expect to have fried chicken once a week any more either.
Somewhere, there is a balanced plan for you and your family. One that will help you attain the weight loss you desire without creating huge sacrifices for your family. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, nor should it be. The hardest part is dedicating the thought and time necessary to find the one suits all of your needs. But it most definately CAN be done.