I need help. This may be a bit long - I apologize in advance...
I live on the central coast of California. I am 41 years old, have had two c-sections and a hysterectomy. I am 5'5" and currently 172 lbs. Earlier this year I got down to 151 and then went back up to just under 170. I then went back down to right around 160, but over the holidays went back up over 170. I have yoyo'd these 25 lbs or so for years now. About four years ago I even got down to 135, but didn't stay there for long at all.
I am a snacker and I eat when I am bored or depressed. I have tried WW (that was when I got down to 135 - took me 18 months). I also tried Atkins. Surprisingly, it wasn't the chocolate that I missed (see user name) it was potato chips! Those low carb chips just don't cut it. I am also a piccky eater. I don't like most veggies or fish.
I run a home daycare, but I only watch kids before and after school. I also homeschool my 13 year-old daughter. So, I am home a lot, which means the kitchen is right there! My daughter has gone vegetarian and my husband is diabetic, so meals are basically impossible. We all sort of do our own thing. I often eat what my daughter eats, which is high carb.
So - why am I here? Well, I saw an ad for Hydroxycut. I started doing research online and saw Lipovaren. In doing a search for more info about that, I ran across this site. I know that a pill is not the answer. Anyway, I can't afford them. I also can't really afford to go back to WW at $10 a week or whatever it is now days. I had a pinched nerve in my back in February and also have heel pain (which I think is severe plantar fasciitis). I know that both of these problems would be helped by me losing weight and getting in better shape. I like to walk. I don't have the time or money for the gym. I did get a fitball for Christmas (it is something my chiropractor also said would help). I also got a book for Pilates on the ball. This I can probably do. It says to do pilates when there are no distractions. Well, with the phone, my daughter and three dogs in the house - there is no such thing as no distractions. But, I will do my best.
So... why am I here whining? Because I am so afraid I will fail - once again. What can I do to stay on track? Not just to my goal, but I want to keep the weight off after I reach my goal. When I got down to 135 I felt so good - and my feet did not hurt. But then life gets in the way. Something stressful comes up. Or, life just gets busy and I grab what I can, when I can - and I stop exercising. How do I make myself a priority? Where do I get the energy? I am up around 5:00 am and usually not asleep till 11:00. I am a person who does better with 8 or even 9 hours of sleep. I also have always had low iron levels, which I know can effect energy levels. I take iron suppliments, but usually they do not help. I also tend to get myself involved in way too much. My daughter is in 4-H and I am the leader of the guide dog puppy raising project for the County. Plus, I took on being co-leader for the beginning 4-H project. How do I learn to manage my time better? The day goes by and I am exhausted, but often I can't figure out where my time went - it sure doesn't go into cleaning my house!
Well, there is my situation. I need motivation. I need determination. I need will power. I need... Help!