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Old 11-19-2004, 05:52 PM   #1
chaoticfish's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 48

Unhappy Getting Off Track

I started my weight loss journey almost 6 months ago. The first 3 months were a breeze. I didn't have a problem sticking with my healthy eating or exercise AT ALL even though I also gave up smoking. Now all I want to do is EAT. Food (rather the lack of it) has become such a huge issue in my life that I've almost cried because I just wanna go get something yummy and forget this whole business of denying myself what I like for the rest of my life. I give in sometimes (lately more often than not) and indulge in something I've been craving but it doesn't seem to help. Just makes me wanna do it all the time. I know for a fact I'm an emotional eater. If I get upset about something I INSTANTLY think "food". Therefore I've cheated a lot the last few months which slowed down my weighloss. This month I haven't done TOO horribly but the loss is even slower. Maybe I've reached a plateau? I haven't had that happen yet so maybe it's normal. Maybe I got spoiled by always seeing a difference on the scale every time I stepped on it? I AM losing... but only 5 pounds this month. I realize that that's considered fairly decent but it feels like I should be seeing a lot more result from the effort I'm putting into it. The whole situation is making me more and more depressed instead of being happy with what I've already accomplished which in turn makes me wanna eat. It's a vicious circle. Does anyone have any suggestions how to get past this? How to not look at it so negatively? Any help would be much appreciated.
SW:280 / CW:185 / GW:???
95 pounds lost since May 28th, 2004

Last edited by chaoticfish; 11-19-2004 at 05:58 PM.
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Old 11-19-2004, 07:20 PM   #2
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 109


Hi Chaotic,

What you are going through is veryyy normal. I do not know what plan you are following to lose weight, but you should never use the word "cheat", because you are a human being, with needs that can not be planned or always "on track".

You lost a great deal of weight and I was actually inspired by your story but at the same time, I think your success and your fear of losing it is putting a great deal of stress on you.. It is all a state of mind, just try to think back to when you first started, and it would probably help to think of the point you have reached now as a starting point.. this may take some of the pressure off..

The other thing.. you are not supposed to deprive yourself to lose weight.. or deny yourself of what you like, as you said.. For this to be permenant it has to be realistic and fits your needs. If you are craving something and you eat it while your feeling guilty about it, you are not going to enjoy it, which makes it less satisfying and you are going to look for more.. But if you cut yourself a slack.. and give yourself that one thing and enjoy it without feeling guilty and at the same time without thinking "tom i will go back to the diet" but rather thinking that you are entitled to have this it is part of your plan (i.e. you have that double cheese burger with supersized fries at 4:00 pm and not eat much before you sleep) then you'll be at peace with yourself and what you indulge in, you actually enjoy, and feel satisfied.

For the weight loss speed, it is normal that once you start, especially if your very obese, weight comes off real quick, but then slows down a bit.. you just have to figure out ways to boost it again, like excercise a bit more, and believe it or not, sometimes by increasing your caloric intake to boost your metabolism, but slowing down is very normal.

Don't give up fishy!! Believe in yourself, and belive that what you started you cannot end now, because you are meant to be thin.. sooner or later you are going to get there.. just have faith and try to enjoy the journey, no matter how tough it gets

Good luck sweety..
Ready to try again... Start date Feb. 24:

Greatest achievement (WLS Mar. 19, 2006):
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Old 11-19-2004, 10:44 PM   #3
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Central Texas
Posts: 410


Have you set tiny goals for yourself? I like to have a goal for every week like. Drink 40oz of water or exercise 2hrs this week. and then if I do it I'll reward myself with something small might be food or something else like lipstick.
Also, I agree with Della never deprive yourself of stuff you like maybe u could eat smaller portions of it or see if they have it in lower fat or calories. If you are missing stuff like ice cream blue bunny makes some great fat free and low calories ice creams that taste great. There is substitutes for chips I like quacker quakes snack in ranch and nacho cheese they are so yummy, I actually like them more than chips. Hopes this helps feel free to pm me anytime.

HW: 165
CW: 160
Last weigh in weight: 157.5
This weeks goal:
stay at point range

GW: 125-130

I know I can do this its just gonna be hard but I'm keeping my faith... With God all things are possible I learn it the hard way....
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Old 11-20-2004, 10:58 AM   #4
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I agree with the others to some degree. It's important to refrain from thinking, "I can never have what I like again," but rather, "I can have my favorites in moderate amounts occasionally, as long as they won't trigger a binge." The idea of guilt playing a part in wanting more is valid. Also, I think that you are likely a compulsive overeater. Not only do you look to food in reaction to most situations, but once you start it's hard to stop.

So many people who use food in an emotional way don't understand that you can't simply take the food away without dealing with all of the related issues. You had a huge surge of momentum when you started that carried you through three months, but once the novelty wears off, you are left with the same issues without the drive to "just say no." So, the answer is two-fold -- first, go beyond saying, "I'm an emotional eater" and dig deeper. What, specifically, makes you want to eat? Why has food become so important suddenly? What's going on in your life now as opposed to 3 or 4 months ago? What can you do to deal with THOSE underlying issues. Second, when the underlying issue can't be solved, what can you substitute for the food as a response? For example, if you eat because of stress from overwork, then the obvious thing to look at is how can you reduce the overwork? If that's not possible, or the reduction isn't enough to remove the stress, then what non-food things can you do to soothe and comfort that don't involve food?

This takes some experimentation, and some serious self-observation and awareness, but it CAN be done. The food is just a symptom, hon -- it's not the problem. We can't just "go on a diet" and assume iron will will carry us through. I guarantee you that the thought patterns that made you overweight also affect other parts of your life. The compulsiveness that makes me overeat also drives most other parts of my personality. THere is another thread on the Maintainers' Forum asking "How has your life changed since you've lost weight?" My answer was that for me, it was the reverse concept -- I changed my life, and that enabled me to lose weight (155 pounds so far).

I highly recommend a book on compulsive overeating called The Thin Books. When I read it I thought someone had crawled into my brain -- I couldn't believe that other people thought the same way I did, that it was that thinking that made me overweight, and that it was possible to overcome it.

I'm going to paste in a quote from a post on another weight loss bulletin board I participate in -- I thought this person had had an enormous insight that contains a good lesson:

...the past couple of months i have been binging nonstop...i have not behaved like this in quite a while & it came on the tail of finding a doc to treat my depression successfully & a surrender to endure a marraige i tended to complain too much about.anyway...everyday was a last meal syndrome ... my relapse into depression was preventing me from losing & my pressure to diet was causing me to gain... yesterdAY I SEE MY DOC & tell him whats going on & that very afternoon i got a very telling call from my marraige counselor that my husband had cancelled our appointment b/c i was too sick to come....i went on my own & this woman who has met us both & who i beleived sided w/ my h in the fact that all our problems were of my own making suddenly what i was hearing was the affirmation that i am emotionally controlled & abused by a man who truly beleives he is the only only person in the world who loves & supports me...WELL....emerging from this freaking mind ****ing night mare that all this time was something i thought i created....to be acknowledged & understood...well...after these appts. i still had a busy night ahead of me but when i got home i suddenly had ZERO desire to stuff myself into despair...i din't want that "last meal"...
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