hi, I was just wondering if anyone had the same problem as me. Ya see, I really want to lose weight, and last summer I lost 30lb which felt awesome. People were complimenting me and I felt so confedent with myself. Now that a year has past and I have GAINED 10lbs, I feel horrible. I tell myself every week that I am going to start dieting and exercising again, and I make it throw the week with flying colors. The weekends are my down fall.I dont know if it is just that I am not on a time clock like I am at school or the fact that in my house I am surrounded my food, but what ever I lost the week before come right back on the weekend. So right now I am stuck in this never end cycle that I lose 3-4 the first week, then have to loose it again the second week cuz I gained it back. I am just so lost right now. I feel like everyone in my life is having fun and I am just the little fat girl in the cover no one cares about. I just want to be able to be happy with myself and be able to do things that right now I cant do or feel to embarassed to do. I never again in my life want to here someone say "Why dont you go to the dance with haley" and the other person laugh like it was some kind of sick joke. I just dont understand how people think. Well this has been depressing. I just really need to vent. If anyone thinks that they have some advice for me that would be wonderful because I really dont know where to turn. thank you.

Hayle-
Up until a few weeks ago, I would do the same thing and found it equally frustrated. I'm a senior in High school and am struggling with and ED and find that keeping busy is the best medicine. I really plan my meals a head, even cook or fix some of them in advance, and always keep healthy snacks on hands, like veggies and carrots, and when I feel temtptation to reach for smoething sweet, I grad an orange instead, and my sweet tooth is satisfied as well as my stomach. The way I got over weekend binging was a few things:
1) I did that 10Day Challenge on this forum, and didn't allow my mindset to change justb/c it was the weekend. I thought of how hard I was working and how I didn't want to start back in square one, b/c the junk food isn't really worth it. I mean, your satisified when you're eating it, but afterwards you(or at least I) feel like crap, and yucky, etc. B/c you truly "are what you eat" it's a hard concept to grasp, and I understand it enough to abstain from fatty, processed, sugary junk food.
2) I realized that subconciously or even conciously(sp?) I was say " Oh, it's the weekend, I am bound to screw up this week's hard work," and then I realized it was the mind set that I was in that was allowing me to eat like this. So, I told myself one weekend that I was going to end this habit of yucky eating on the weekends, and change the cycle... and with alot of perseverence, I haven't done it since then.
I also think that this webstie is great for support and motivation... As a person with bulimia, I have learned to try and figure out why I eat the way i do when I do, think about whether it worth ruining my teeth and screwing up my heart for the inevitable purging that is sure to take place only a few minutes after I eat the bad foods. In some ways, I think a lot of people need to find themselves in realtion to food, and you'll be able to avoid the targets the drive you to eat or not eat. I was once told that it's hard for a person w/ an ED to truly overcome the feelings and ways they eat, but you can find out what it is, and avoid it, and stay busy and social so you don't have time to fall into that cycle again.
Also, I think about, how I've been working super hard and am loving the way I feel, and why would I want to ruin that by eating bad food? Like I said before, it's just not worth the self-hate, and lack of confidence you feel afterwards.
I wish you lots of support and encouragement, I would wish you luck if I din't believe that you make your own. So, anytime you need a little help, you can always turn to this website, and surely get the motivation you need.

Thank you so much for replying, you are really help full. I need to be out doing thing with my friends but sometimes I dont want to go out just because of the way I look. Tonight I am going to go to a soccer banquet with a whole bunch of people and I will be serving, I am jsut really nervous. I just feel like everything would be easier if I would lose weight. thanks again for your help and maybe if I can ever help you with anything, dont be afraid to ask!

i'm so glad you found something useful and helpful, the hard part though is applying it. But, once you start working out regularly ( just light working out up to 4x a week can even be a great help) will really boost your confidence b/c it realeases endorphins which are what make us feel GREAT, and then you'll feel comfortable going out and doing things... it's just a big cycle. You're VERY welcome for the words, and thanks for the extended support. I know you can start to feel great!