Oh, I Wish This Was Easier ...

[Graceful Goddess]

So, I'm about to rant ... just a warning for those of you who would like to keep your day rant free
I KNOW weight loss is hard — no matter how you go about it losing a significant amount of fat is not easy. I KNOW it, but accepting that and moving on from has become by biggest challange.(Insert the voice of my Nana saying "Anything worth having is worth working for.") I'm doing all the right things. I'm exercising, I'm eating right, I'm drinking water and I'm taking my multi-vitamin, and to be honest, that's the easy part. I started in July 2003 and all of that stuff, the exercise, the healthy eating, it's habit - almost compulsion. It's more of an effort at this point to not do it. And yet, my body is still fighting to keep every single ounce of fat - just like it's done from the very beginning. Every pound of weight lost, every drop in BMI, Body Fat Percentage, Measurements has been hard fought. There has never been a time when the weight just seemed to fall off or melt away. I've never had a week where I lost more than two pounds (I know, I hear you saying but that's healthy ... ) Most weeks the scale doesn't move, or it bounces around erractically.
My problem —*I'm tired. 50 pounds down, 80 or so to go and then comes the hard part —*maintainence No worries, I'm not about to throw in the towel, but boy do I need some patience, some words of wisdom, somebody to tell it to me like it is to snap me out of this funk.
In the meantime, I'm trying to take some dark comfort in the fact that if there's a famine, I'll probably be one of the last ones standing

[jiffypop]

there there, goddess... it's all ok. you're doing GREAT.

yeah. i know you're not seeing that right now, but you ARE. sometimes when we're plodding along, we need to shake things up a bit. the old bod gets used to a certain routine, and we have to give it a different exercise regimen or different food or different calories to make it wake up and get moving.

i've gone from hiking every single day to alternating hiking with an hour+ walk with the dog on flat ground. and it's helping. that 'what are we doing here' has shocked my body out of complacency...

it's just a thought.

but really... you're doing great. be kinder to yourself. you deserve it.

[MojoJodie]

Goddess, I lost ten pounds in five weeks, and for the past two weeks or so I have only lost 1 pound. It is very discouraging, but hey, biology says that if we burn more calories than we consume the fat will go...surely it is impossible for our bodies to hold on to fat when it needs it for energy? I keep telling myself this, as I weigh myself, and add that eventually my bod will have to give it up. But it's the curse of being female, my defiant butt is screaming, "but we might get pregnant, we need this fat!" and I am screaming "no we won't, and no we don't!". *sigh* Butts these days, you can't get them to mind.

[Meg]

If there’s anyone who can relate to what you’re saying, it’s probably me. I walked the same road myself back in 2001 and 2002 and experienced all the same feelings that you talk about in your post. You’re not kidding when you say that losing weight is hard work, but I want to tell you that it’s so so worth it. From where you are now, you have a vision of what your life’s going to be like at goal, right? A dream about how you’re going to look and how you’re going to feel?

OK, I want you to step into my skin for today and feel what it’s like to be me. You with me? You see, I used to think it was all about how I’d look when I got to 135 pounds. I never realized that the pay-off is how good I FEEL. So if you can walk around in my (sweaty gym) shoes for one day, I guarantee that nothing in this world will stop you from losing the rest of the weight.

Here we go!

It’s 4:30 AM and I wake up before the alarm, bursting with energy. I need a lot less sleep now than I did 122 pounds ago. I never dreamed that I could feel so good! The first thing that goes through my mind every day is — woo hoo! I did it! I’m not fat anymore! To me now, every morning is Christmas morning; every day is the best day of my life.

I jump out of bed, make coffee, and throw on my gym clothes. That’s a huge change from before, when I was allergic to exercise. I’m at the gym when it opens and do my cardio for the day, listening to music with a great beat. I notice how much faster and more intensely I can go now than when I was heavy and every day I try to do a little more than the day before. That endorphin rush is a great way to start the day — I’m always so jazzed when I walk out of the gym.

Back home to breakfast: oatmeal and chocolate protein powder. The way I eat now and the way I used to eat are like night and day. No more sugar highs and crashes, no more feeling bloated, no more hating myself and feeling controlled by food. I plan my meals for the day and enter them into Fitday.

Then the usual Mom stuff and household stuff. It’s so cool to fly up and down the stairs without having to stop and catch my breath or having my knees and feet hurt. I get my chores done in about half the time it used to take. I love the feeling of being strong just while doing the everyday tasks of life: taking out the trash, carrying the laundry upstairs, hefting the 20# box of kitty litter.

And then the highlight of my day: back to the gym for weights. The gym was the scariest, most alien place in the world for me when I was heavy and now it’s home. I love lifting weights and love the muscles and the look they give me. I used to be afraid to look in the mirrors at the gym (you know how the walls are lined with mirrors) - now I catch a glimpse of myself and marvel at the stranger who’s looking back at me. How could this be me? I spent all my life as the fat girl and now I have toned arms and little hips. I walk out of the gym on , knowing that I've pushed myself to my limits as I worked to build my best body. Lifting weights has taught me that I have strength and endurance and discipline that I never imagined and it carries over to all other aspects of my life. I know that I’m capable of anything that I set my mind to doing.

Let’s stop and do some clothes shopping on the way home, OK? I walk in and bypass the plus sizes and head for all the pretty clothes in the regular sizes. I don’t have to shop for camouflage anymore — no more big T-shirts to hide the butt or long sleeves to cover the jiggle. No more elastic waists or towels strategically covering up my bathing suit. I can look at crop tops and low-rise pants, beautiful (and sexy) lingerie, and tank tops. I see something that I want to try on and look for it in a 4 or a small(which can be hard to find). Now stand in my shoes with me in the dressing room and hold up a pair of jeans in size 4. They’ll never fit, right? They’re WAY too tiny — I used to look at small sizes and think that no one could have a butt small enough to fit in those. But they slide right up over my hips and fit perfectly (no sucking in the gut). The problem with clothes shopping when I was fat was that nothing looked good. The problem now is that too much looks good — hard on the old budget.

Back home, normal life. My dinner’s different from the rest of my family’s but it doesn’t bother me or them a bit. And then to bed, knowing that I physically feel better than I ever have in my life. But more than just how good I feel is the knowledge that I did it! It took me 47 years, but I finally got rid of the fat that weighed down every aspect of my life. There’s no better feeling in the world.

Losing weight — and more importantly — keeping it off is hard work and it’s a job that we’ll have to do for the rest of our lives. It takes sweat, hard work, planning, and self-discipline. You know what to do; like you said, the elements are habit now. But trust me, the pay-off at the end of road is far, far better than you can imagine.

Keep going — you’ve come so far now. When you think about the alternative — going back to being fat and unhappy — really, what choice is there? I guarantee that when you reach your goal (and you will, I’m sure) you’ll agree with me that it was the hardest and, at the same time, the best thing that you ever did in your life.

[Graceful Goddess]

Thanks you guys! You're the best - I'm all ranted out Patience is a virtue I need to work on. In the meantime I'm going to try to chill out about the number of pounds I'm losing and I'm going to shake up my exercise program —*I think I hear the land of weight-training calling And Meg, thanks for the inspiration. Waking up everyday and feeling like it's Christmas - that rocks! Have a great day chicks!
Grace

[SeekInnerThinChick]

Originally Posted by Graceful Goddess

In the meantime, I'm trying to take some dark comfort in the fact that if there's a famine, I'll probably be one of the last ones standing

That wasn't a rant, Grace, that was hilarious! And I'm right there with you, as I'm going through the same thing. The first fifty pounds, to be honest, weren't all that hard, but now things have ground to a halt. I'm doing up to 1 1/2 hours of cardio plus at least 1/2 hour of weights, and the scale is frozen. My arms, legs, and shoulders are like rocks, but the extra 20 pounds is still there.

I think you are so right about some women being "famine proof." I think some are just slow burners even with significant activity and muscle mass. Maybe we build fewer numbers of fat-burning enzymes in the muscle tissue, pound for pound, than faster burners do, so even increased mass doesn't have as much of an effect. That might explain why some women stay fatter even when they exercise very hard. That's my theory, anyway.

In the past I always had to run -- not jog -- at least 3 - 5 miles virtually every day on pavement to keep my weight down. That's a lot of calories burned, and the drastic motion, I believe, tends to stimulate the body to lose. But that kind of running is very damaging to joints, tendons, and ligaments over a long period of time, and I wouldn't recommend it now. You have to remember that if you have had a lot of physical trauma, especially joint trauma, in the past, you become a candidate for "trauma-induced arthritis." I'm starting to show signs of it myself, and believe me, it's not fun. So low-impact is the word.

Still, lately I'm beginning to think it will take a massive extra push to get the last pounds off, a heavier training regime. I may have to do a gym workout in the a.m. and a long walk/jog in the evening to get that to happen. Plus cutting out every unnecessary calorie-- no treats at all. It's grim, but it has to be done. Chin up, shoulders back, and "march to the front like a soldier."

Actually, when I feel a wave of self-pity coming on, I think of MEL, the lady on the journals here who uses a wheelchair and sings a lot. She's in there fighting the good fight every single day, just relentlessly cheerful. I think to myself, if she can hang in there, then I have no excuse at all not to give it 110%. She's my inspiration.

Sorry to make this so long-- hang tough, Grace!

[Katey78]

"The first thing that goes through my mind every day is — woo hoo! I did it! I’m not fat anymore! To me now, every morning is Christmas morning; every day is the best day of my life."

I've just discovered this forum and am really enjoying working my way through the threads for tips and inspiration.

And the above quote is amazing...to have that feeling - I'm *going* to get it.

Everyday I think "I wish I wasn't fat" about 20 times...walking down the street, crossing the office, climbing down the steps into the pool at the gym.

I have been thinking that one thought for the past 7 years, and to not have to think it anymore..well, that will be worth all the effort and tears. That will mean more than being able to wear what I want.