[GreeneyedFaith]

Hi.

I have been a member for a while, but I never come here I am ashamed really. I want to lose weight. I've wanted to for so long. But, why do I still eat junk food and over eat. I am such a fat pig. I finally got up the nerve to weigh myself. Ya! Ready for this? I weigh 298. I am a fat ugly pig.
This is how I feel. I am a failure. I have no self control. I have ballooned up to a weight that is uncomfortable.
I weigh 298. You guys, I have never told anyone. In fact I wouldn't even weigh myself, so that I wouldn't even know. If I had to be weighed at a doctor's office, I refused to look at the scales.
I have had so much to deal with in my life. And instead of lashing out at the people who hurt me. I lashed out at myself. Stuffing myself with chocolate bars, a full bowl of popcorn, 2 sandwhiches instead of 1, 2 litre bottle of pops-diet coke, greasy foods. I don't even drink water. I hate myself for what I did to my body.
I hate being fat. I hate being a statistic. It is so damn hard. I sorry I am whinny. Right now I have nobody to cry to. Nobody to listen and understand.
God Bless my husband! He tells me I am beautiful. I don't believe him and I know it hurts him when I say so. And I know deep down, that because I am unhappy with myself, i make him unhappy. I don't want to lose him because I am fat.
What does it feel like to be hungry?
I want to walk. I want to go to eat healthy foods and I want to say no to junk food. I want to drink water and I want to feel cool, not hot all the time. I want to feel clean and not sweaty and I want to wear nice clothes. Not baggy ugly clothes. I NEED motivation. I have the right reasons.
I suffer with depression - and having weight issues doesn't help. I have history of heart trouble & diabetes. Do I have a death wish? Why do I do this to myself. I want to be there as an active parent for my children. I don't want to be some sorry sad person for the rest of my life.
God I need a friend who understands. Someone who could guide me and support me. I just need help.
I really am sorry I sound so pathetic. I just feel so gross because I just ate a bowl of popcorn and a chocolate bar at midnight. Sitting on my couch feeling upset about some family issues.
I really am a nice decent person and I really want help and I want to be motivated and I want to succeed.
I am asking for help. But, I am not sure if you can help.
Thanks for listening.
Islandgurl

[redballoon]

Islandgurl, to you for having the courage to write. That is a big step and one of the most important ones. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of, nothing at all!!

Your story, whether you believe it or not, is the story of many, many people who come to this site looking for support, for a way to change their lives around. There are many people here who weigh what you weight, many much more. But the weight is not really the issue. We ALL have our demons, some more so than others. That's why we come here, because here people understand these things, things sometimes other people don't.

So, I suggest you pick a thread and just join in. That's the way everyone has started, by just one day jumping in and saying Hi, I want to talk to you all and I hope you'll talk to me.

The first thing you've got to do Islandgurl is to stop with all the dumping on yourself, OK? You're no less a person than anyone else. You just are overeating and making yourself miserable. You can cry to us all you want. We are here to listen. I am sure you are going to get lots of replies here so just wait. We CAN help, though you're going to be the one making the actual changes. We'll help get you there, but you just have to talk and let it all out and THEN, take a look at the other people like you who are making big progress. Sometimes the steps are small, but the changes those little steps are leading to will be big.

So, come on! Jump in to one of the challenges I started or just a chatty thread. There are so many and there are specific ones for all sorts of needs. Look around, try some out. Quit 'em if you like, try some more. But please, keep talking to us!

I hope to hear from you again real soon!

[mthrgoos68]

Island Gurl, come and join us in the 100 Pound Club. All of us over there have had a 100 pounds or more to lose. Just jump right in and start posting. You'll find tons of support and inspiration.

RedBalloon is right, you're not alone at all. So many of us have felt just like you and know where you're coming from. It can be so overwhelming to get started, but you've come here and that's a great first step.

The next thing is to pick an eating plan. You feel much more in control when you're taking positive steps to get started. Design a plan that you can live with, not something that's going to be impossible for you to live on.

Drink, drink, drink your water. This will make a huge difference and you CAN do it. Always have a water bottle with you and drink it all day long.

Exercise will also make a huge difference. It will help you to feel better, keep you motivated, and help the weight to stay off. Even if you just start walking for a few minutes each day. You'll be surprised how quickly you'll build up your stamina and be able to add to your exercise routine.

Keep coming here and posting more often so that we can get to know you better. You're not on this journey alone.

[Angel26519]

Hi Islandgurl-

May I recommend you getting the Dr Phil Book - 7 keys to Weight Loss Freedom..... we are currently reviewing this book over at the book club forum.... come check us out.... I can tell from your post all the pain you are in and you arent alone.... I think the book might help you with some of the emotional stuff you got going on.

I know that not everyone likes Dr Phil and I can respect that but we have a couple of people that dont like Dr Phil currently reading the book and having many "ah-ah" moments.

There are so many great ladies here and so much support that you are bound to find someone here (or more than one someones) that can help you.

Good Luck! I know that you can do it!

[KristasMom]

Hi -- Like mthrgoose, I post on 100 lb club.

I started at 290, but I know that wasn't my top weight. It was what I weighed when I bought the scale

At first, I couldn't do much of anything -- but I'm now down 34 lbs, and I'm much more fit than I was a few months ago.

Just join a thread and talk!

[gma22]

Islandgirl: Honey there are so many of us here that know where you are coming from. I beg you to do a couple things if you will. First, come and take a peek at Time for Serious Fun if you will right here on Support. I started this thread to have a totally POSITIVE outlook on weight loss and try and make it fun. When you are tired of carrying around the weight you do and finally realize you have to do something, then you have taken the first BIG step.

YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN RIGHT NOW! Your husband is totally right! The first thing you must understand is that there is NOT ONE THING WRONG WITH YOU THE WAY YOU ARE! If you can understand that, then you can lose weight and feel good about yourself. Too many times, we think that weight loss will fix the problem, but you have a self image problem and that you have to come to terms with first! If you don't than the weight might come off, but you will put it back on again and you will never be happy! Happiness is satisfaction right where we are. Your body image is something you can do something about too, but don't mix up the two! Please visit us on the thread! We have lots of things going to help you out!

Also, I want you to KNOW that you can do this. As you can see from my stats I weighed over 400 lbs in January. I want you to take a peek at my website so you can KNOW that you can do this! You have it within you to make positive changes in your life forever! I set up my website not to toot my own horn, but that someone who is hurting, obese, and feeling they can never lose weight knows that they can acheive anything if they want it bad enough. www.freewebs.com\trexnonny/ I will help you in anyway you need me I promise!

Faye